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hrm
Monday. 4.12.04 12:24 pm
i enjoy this dont i.

i like it like this, not happiness, torment. Its more fun.

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Sunday. 4.4.04 10:00 pm
there isnt much to say at the moment. other then

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


i think my brains going to explode with memories, nightmares, and emots.


FUCK

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Nightmares
Sunday. 4.4.04 2:13 pm
i've had nightmares for two nights in a row.

one with her

another with him....


wtf is wrong? somethings going to happen...

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Luck
4/2/04 9:07 PM
Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it running through the air. I'm in a good mood. Thats something to note from the very begining. Next, bad things have been happening all day. ITs like my luck has run up and now its building up to something HUGE. I'm not dreaming, but i am. I hate nightmareish dreams but i forget them the moment i wake up. Then, as i go through out the day i remember flashes but never more than a second or two of them. Something i wrong. I'm terribly afraid. Tommorow is the slam. I'm tired of being afraid so i have created a false shell of certainty and i think this is my punishment for being pompous and bitchy. I am really serious. Little things add up, they have meanings. Ah. I am just not enjoying this whole thing. I can feel it and theres nothing i can do. Nothing.

a vauge emptyness fills me, a world glowing burning festering reaches for me. I turn away from this monster, head high, unaware of the hands reaching for my ankles. They yank hard. They pull me. I fall, hard. Dragged along a dirt road, it takes me in, it swallows me. And i am gone. A hollow shell of fear, and anxeity. I am gone.

Priscilla. Is gone.


He liked the old priscilla and not the "new cheerleader priscilla", well he never knew the real priscilla to begin with. And now, i and the world teamed together. have destroyed her. Good Bye. What can i do?


The dreams tell you. Life does You. Good luck. You'll need it.

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Tea
92th day of 2004
OK. Its Official. I'm addicted to tea. Its sick. I drink over 6 cups of tea a day. I wake up, have to have a cup of Tea. Come home, a cup of tea. Eat dinner, a cup of Tea, work in my room 2 or three cups of tea. SHIT. I really hope this isnt bad for me or something. In the morning i like a certain way and the same with later in the day. The morning, one packet of that equel stuff and milk. Afternoon Ice tea. Dinner, Ice Tea. Work, hot tea, no milk, no cream, and one packet of sugar. And i dont like lemon in my Ice Tea, lime only. SHIT am i picky like SHIT. ah. i like my tea though. Really getting addicted to this stuff. Someone tell me if its bad for you. Please.

ok So. Today was interesting. Bonnie and Jamie got in a fight with these black chicks. I was really calm. It happened. Im worried but what can i do? NOTHING. It happened. Ok. Hopefully everything is ok... thers a whole back story to it along with nifty little details. yeah fuck that. Too tired.

Oh yeah. Wore a skirt. Scary. Never doing it again.

So today. I realized something. Its bad. Its good. Its questionable. I really do enjoy this one particular kids presence in my life. Simply put i've had a crush on this stupid kid for a while now. Cant get rid of it, Refuse to act on it, Just living with it. Dont mind it. But today. I dont know. The kid. I just dont know. Maybe this is just me being a stupid girl, liking a kid who will never like me, being inane and childish. Yeah, he likes another girl. At least i think he does. I really should just turn my head and look into other prospects. There are other kids out there who are interesting. Just not as much fun. i dont know. I'm sick. There are people who have a simular humor out there and if not theyre still intriguing enough. I dont know. IT was just weird today. and this is me reading into people too much. damn psychoanalyzing shit.

i know who to chill with. Yeah. we can solve this problem. First, lets get him to go to the slam. After that. Yeah i'll fix this problem. I always do. somehow. If i dont forget about him first. Man. i sigh.

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Rocket Victory
Wednesday. 3.31.04 10:16 pm
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

our launch was beautiful. BEAUTIFUL!!

straight, high, and it didnt explode.

all the engines ignited

the parachute came out

we owned.

he thought we'd fail. FUCK YESS!!

then my mom completly demolished my pride. Eh. We still did well.

AND rojo wasnt there. HAH

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