I ended up sleeping around 6 AM because my parents rented this filipino movie and I wanted to watch. So yeah I didn't get enough sleep and I was too tired to go to the swap meet at 9. Then my mom woke me up at 11 because I needed to take a shower and that we had to go to the bank first. So yeah I take my shower and my mom's all pissed for some reason. I forgot why, anyways we leave around 12 and we're at the bank. I call up Jen to see if they're at the swapmeet, but they're not. She's like, "we waited for you." I told her that I slept late and that I didn't want to go, but that we'd go for sure at 2. So they were in a car leaving for somewhere, but they don't know where. So here I am looking dumb and my mom gets back and she's listening. They don't even tell me who they're with, they just say i'm in a car. WOW. Great huh? So I ask who's driving? They said Ate Joan, and I ask where they're near at or where they're going. I guess they were going to Costco or something. So my mom's driving while I talk to them and she's mad because I don't know where to go anymore and we can't pick em up at the swap meet because they're not there anymore. So the plans were just wasted and they didn't even care to inform me. My mom gets mad and I swear she was making me feel 10x worse. It's bad enough when you're already left out, but her constant reminder made me want to cry. Like yeah this isn't a big thing, I don't really care anymore, but my mom. Gosh. She was making me feel really bad, like she kept saying, "How come they didn't call you? They should've at least called and cancelled instead of just not saying anything. They didn't even invite you." BLAH BLAH BLAH. My mom said she remembered Ate Joan saying she wanted to take Aj and Jen to City Walk. MAN. Words cannot express how I feel. Literally. It went on until we got to Marshalls. My mom was no longer mad at me, but them. She wanted to go find them and tell them something because she was so mad, but I was like, "Mom, don't! You're just going to make everything worse than it already is. Just leave it alone already. Forget it." BLAH BLAH BLAH. We finally got to Marshalls and just looked around. After we headed home. We waited until my dad got home and my mom told my dad. MAN. I just want to forget about it and here my mom goes and tells my dad. My dad gets mad, but here I am feeling bad again. Feeling unwanted, rejected, etc. Those are my cousins, I mean if they were my friends I wouldn't happen to care as much, but them, we're blood related. no matter what they'd still be family. = It's hard enough for me to just want to think about it. So we go to church at 5. I get some quiet time with God. Enough to clear my mind, in the mean time. After church I think we rented some other movie. It was about an angel on earth. Haha like unfinished business. Cogie Domingo was in it. Cute guy. Haha. I fell asleep though and around 1 AM, I woke up. Darn. I went online. Boy there were a lot of people online. Haha it wasn't just me and Maria anymore. Well I tried to go back to sleep, but then I was thinking too much. Like too many thoughts in your head that you can't sleep. I was so angry, but I didn't want to tell anyone. It's bad to keep it hidden. I wanted someone to talk to, but no one was up. So instead I wrote a poem. Cheesy huh? Well I finished it, but when I proofread it, I just got even angrier, so I threw it in the trash and I finally fell asleep.


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