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I am
My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
All in the timing
Tuesday. 4.7.09 12:18 am


Sometimes, it seems that life has everything set and ready for you, like Sunday morning breakfast with the family. You wake up to the smell of coffee and the sunshine filtering in through your window curtains. You walk down the stairs to find your parents chatting in the kitchen and smiling. A plate of eggs, ham, and bacon with a tall glass of freshly squeezed orange juice sits on the table at your usual sitting spot. Everything just seems to... FIT.

Then there's other not so fortunate times, where you wonder what went wrong? Think that if only you had come in a minute earlier or left a minute later, everything would of been fine. Had you just waited a few extra seconds at that stop sign you might not of been hit. Had you just decided to skip that breakfast maybe you might of missed that traffic on the freeway.

The slightest fraction of time can alter events in your life so drastically. It seems inevitable to be caught in some whirlwind of fate. And destiny waits for no one.
But how can that be? How can our life be predetermined by some unknown (or known) force so acutely? Are we doomed to stay on this track placed before us? Or are we masters of our destiny? Can we trully chart our future? Are we trully free or are we only allowed so much leeway?

Irregardless of such philosophical questions, you can never help but feel like you've messed up somehow when you miss an opportunity. As if, whether it was by your choice or not, you still were not worthy enough of a trully glorious chance.

Guess that's why it's called "chance"...

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to love and to hold
Tuesday. 3.31.09 2:04 pm
Congratulations

Is that seat taken
Congratulations
Would you like to take a walk with me

My mind it kind of goes fast
I try to slow it down for you
I think I'd love to take a drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu

I came to see the light in my best friend
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been
My chance of being open was broken
And now you're Mrs. him.

My words they don't come out right
But I'll try to say I'm happy for you
I think I'm going to take that drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart

My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
My heart
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu

And I can't change this
I can never take it back
But now I can't change your mind
(You left me)
And I can't take this
I can never take this back
But now I can't change your mind
can't change your mind
(You left me)
Can't change your mind
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)
(You left me.. hu hu hu hu)

Go away
Make it go away
Please.



If I ever get married, there won't be someone waiting with me at the end of that aisle. I'll be alone. Alone in making decisions. In figuring things out. Figuring out life. Life insurance. Health insurance. Dental. Vision. The vision will be of no one's but my own. My own kids won't know her. Know her smile. Her strength. Her beauty. How will I manage? How will I learn? How will I know simple things that your parents teach you about raising children? My father will certainly not know. He doesn't know. No one I know does, know what it's like. In even the happiest of my future events, I will always be missing something. Missing someone. More than I already have been.

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