So yeah... i'll let you see half of my face lol. Friday i went on a date with Matt. i guess you can call it our "starting over" date. we had a bit of a tif.. but thats over and were bothhappy together. We went to City walk (Universals "P.I.") It was so much fun. I had a great time just being with him. Yesterday i went to a party. It was for the cast of the school play (which i am not in lol). I was the groupie and went with them to districts and all that jazz. I had a blast. it was fun to just hang out with friends. My mom randomly showed up to ask me what time the party was over.. which wasreally embarrassing.. but apparently I embarrassed her because i said i didn't want anyone cursing because she is a christian and does not tolerate that. after all.. i know she would find something wrong with all my friends.. so i wanted her to leave... she left and we went on with the party. Well... today im gonna hang out at a friends house.. so.. i'll write whenever..
This is Midnight signing off! Laterz

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your soul is broken. something in your past was

never really left in your past and its

tearing you apart. having a broken soul is a

lonely way to live because you may feel that

no one can understand what youve been

through, you might be surprised what youll

find if you reach out to someone.








rate and message if you feel that the quiz is

worthy.


what kind of soul do you have?( with gorgeous pics. mainly for girls)
brought to you by Quizilla





You are the Angel of Lonliness.


Good Traits:

You are another one of God's beautiful creatures.

You hold dear to you all that you have

because you feel if you let them leave, you

have no one else to hold onto. You do have a

wonderful family, whether or not they may be

divorced, because the family you have is able

to suffer that same feeling of lonliness with

you. The reason for that is because you lost

your best friend, be it your actual best

friend, a pet, or a family member. Either

way, you do try hard to love what you still

have, though it may not be enough, because

you are one of the most depressed people you

or anyone else knows, ever since that fateful

news.


Bad Traits:

Though you do appreciate what you have, you are

always finding yourself alone and away from

family. You're not quite sure why, but even

though they are going through everything you

are, you feel they will never understand YOUR

emotions. You believe there is now a

permenant brick wall between you and everyone

else that was once so close to you. All you

want back is what you lost, but knowing that

this can never be, you tend to isolate

yourself more than you really want to.




- What is Your Inner Angel -
brought to you by Quizilla


why am i so afriad..? why can't i tell anyone anything. somethings missing.. why can't i speak out, stand up for myself... anything! why am i having these thoughts? i hate myself so much. whats wrong with me.. someone just tell me please. i don't understand why.. i want to talk.. but i can't. im afriad..

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wow... i haven't been on this site in so long.. i've come to update.

everything has been getting better. my parents are starting to back off. Matt and i are still together. Tuesday, the 24th, marked our 2 month anniversary. Were very happy together, and plan to be together for a long time. I few friends can't seem to understand this though.. They always ask if i've broken up with him yet, so they can go out with me.
One of these friends, i almost went out with. Matt seriously has no idea how close i was to going with "him" . i could have had "him". i chose Matt, and i am very glad i did. although i wonder what life would have been like with "him", im very happy with Matt, and nothing will ever change that.
The other friend.. i hate to say, is a whore. She goes out with everyone for the hell of it, and doesn't care. If i would have chosen her, i kno it would have been a few week fling for her pleasure. I like her as a friend, nothing more. I commit, which isn't a word in her dictionary. Relationships are a game to her, and that is a MAJOR turn off. so she can ask me if i've left Matt all she wants.. it's not going to happen.

School has been pretty good. Mom found out i have been skipping.. and for that i began to fail one of my classes. The catch is, its so incredibly easy. school is no longer a challenge for me. I began skipping because i can't take class seriously anymore, its that easy. I need a challenge, which is something i don't get wasting countless hours of my day at school, so i feel no need to be there. but mom is checking my attendance every day now, so i have no choice.

Matt is grounded.. and we can't see eachother. I want to see him right now.. We had a bit of a disagreement last night. he was kinda being an ass, and i was a bitch back. I feel kinda bad for being a bitch toward him, and yet i don't.. it's weird. But everything is cool now. i love him so much he really is the one for me. no one could ever take his place.

Last night i went to the movies with Jen. We saw Annapolis. Different from what i thought it would be, but i liked it. Before the movie we had about 3 hours to kill. so we took a 6-7 mile walk. We were walking toward where Rich lives. i wanted to walk up to his house and hang out, but Jen and i decided to turn back a ways up the road. It was a beautiful night, so it was nice to take a walk. Had time to just talk to Jen and think things over. i've had so much on my mind lately, so i had time to sort things out.

and um... thats pretty much my life in a nutshell. i shall try to make an entry ever once in a while. Later!

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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everything is finally over. minds have been made up, hearts have been broken. but we will all be happy.

i love you babe..

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Today was the home coming parade for Osceola High School. The theme was fairy tales, and everyone had the wildest floats. Our chorus float consist of many of the different fairy tale princesses, princes, and villans. I was lil' red riding hood and I just trotted along in my flowing red coat while my friend, who played the wolf, would randomly grab me and I would scream and run away. I had a great time. I wish I could have stayed longer with friends and gone to the homecoming game, but I have to get up early tomorrow.. .

Tomorrow is the homecoming dance and im going with my friend as his date. I can't wait for tomorrow!

Through all the good times, half the time I fake a smile. I tell myself I'll be fine, and I've just been brushing it off. I promised myself I wouldn't get into this confusing disaster, but I always find myself slowly slipping back into this crazy mess I create. it's just.. GRR. I dread coming to school and seeing his face, but yet he brightens my day. I can tell he is interested in someone that I could never be like. I sometimes wish I was one of those beautiful girls that has the perfect match for them. But, Mr. right isn't just going to come right up to me. All of these highschool relationships are worthless to me. The same things always happen, they either just think I'm "easy" or they last for a few months. But, this ones different. I'm always upest, but when i see him I light up and feel that everythings going to be alright. But I really don't know why I bother. I will always be the hyper little friend, nothing more.

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Just some new things that have happend...

I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!
I work at Osceola Extreme Sports (OES) on a paintball field. (monkey, it is the field on the same road that lead to your old neighborhood.) I LOVE working there. Im the only chick among a bunch of sex deprived boys, but eh it will do.
They all kno my nick name but i asured them all i will not live up to it! My boss is 17 and friggen HOT!! lol.

The past few weeks I've been going out with my friend that graduated this past May. Its been to go out and just talk and "vent". Just about every time we would go out to eat where "jerkface" works and would talk to him. I will not lie, "jerkface" is very cute.. he's just an ass. I'm going out to the movies with my friend and "jerkface" friday.. that is if "jerkface" decides to come this time .

This past month has been a disaster... I'm such an emotional wreck at this point im just numb. I just feel... The kind of care free feeling where nothing matters. i absolutely hate all this gay ass teen drama. It will all be the death of me. Suddenly lonely and feeling empty, all the tears.. its just not worth it. I HATE BOYS AND THEY WILL ALL BURN IN HELL!!!
Have a nice day!

Nuh Night, -Brii-

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if you wanna check it out go to Broken_Inside

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