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Procrastination city
Monday. 7.23.07 6:15 pm
I was supposed to go out today. Key words: supposed to.

Last night I stayed up the whole night. I finally layed down a little after 8am. I really should work on not letting Stuart affect my decisions when it comes to staying up or sleeping. But I just can't help it. At least not right now. I try and I'm succeeding a little, but not enough.

After my mom got home from work we were supposed to go out so that I could get a few things, so that I could drive and so that I can apply at certain places. I didn't get up till almost 3pm and when she got home a half hour later, I just wasn't up to going out. I am procrastinating to the extreme right now.

The plan now, is that the three of us {my sister, my mom and I} will be going out early-ish on Thursday. We'll be hitting the DMV first so that my sister can get her permit and so that I can get an updated ID. After that we'll probably be going to the bank {unless we go before then} so that my mom can put the money that she owes me back into my account. Once that happens, I'm not sure exactly which stores we'll be going to, but we will be hitting the stores. Mostly so that I can apply for jobs, but so that we can do some shopping too.

I don't have a whole lot to talk about. I got a new purse yesterday. Its a little bigger than what I'm used to, but its cute so I'll get used to it.

K, I'm done.

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Screw the internet
Sunday. 7.22.07 7:33 pm
So I just spent the last 5 or so hours trying to figure out why my internet was suddenly not working. I took about a half hour break in the middle so that I could eat dinner, but then I was right back to the comp. In the process of trying to figure out the connection, I apparently clicked something and ended up having to do a whole computer restore back to yesterday {since it was working just fine yesterday}

Even after that, the connection still wasn't working. It was at this point that I thought maybe it was the router or the router connection to the other computer. {it was at this point also, that I wanted to just stab something or punch something; I didn't though} So I got on the other computer and apparently something had happened cuz it wasn't even detecting the router. What I ended up doing was completely uninstalling the router and reinstalling it.

Obviously its working fine now, but I'm not going to turn off my comp anymore. I'm going to be nervous if I have to even restart it for one reason or another. The connection was fine yesterday and last night and I turned it off like I always do before I go to bed. When I turned it back on this morning, it wasn't working. So now I'm just not going to turn it off.

Anywho, not much has happened in the way of progress. I still haven't been able to get out and look for a job. And its just too hot to walk. Even if I were to take a bus around, I'd still have to walk the distance to the bus stops. In this heat the less I have to walk out in it, the better. Back in Tucson, I still hated walking in the heat, but I lived right across the street from my work and the store and some fast food places so I was only out in it for 10, 15 minutes tops. Here, I live quite a distance from the nearest anything so it would take a good 20 or 30 minutes to get anywhere. Also, working in a restaurant, you were going to sweat anyway. If I were to get a job here, it would be more professional and the sweat would not exactly scream professional.

My mom said that tomorrow after she gets off work, she's going to come home and then we're going to go out to certain stores. I need to buy a few things to get myself settled in a little more {like hangers and mini storage containers so that I'm not living out of a suitcase} While there, I'm going to be asking for applications or filling them out at the designated stations. I'm still a little nervous about driving around the Vegas streets, esp at rush hour, but it shouldn't be too bad. I haven't driven in over 3 years, but the last time I was driving my mom's minivan. This time she has a small, little '93 Nissan Sentra. I should be much more comfortable driving it. Except that the brakes on it are horrible so I'd have to borrow another car in order to take the road test.

So asking about what kind of car my mom has sparked a whole 20 minute long conversation and I have no idea what else I was going to write about. So I guess that means that this entry is over. Till next time ...

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Its starting to bug me...
Saturday. 7.21.07 12:55 am
~~ I'm pretty sure this is going to be a rant ... so don't say I didn't warn you ~~

I'm getting more frustrated now, rather than upset, about the whole Stuart "situation." I like him much more than I actually should, especially considering we were never together; we were never a legitimate couple. Its something that I am very well aware of and I accept that we weren't in a relationship, but I don't understand why I feel as strongly towards him as I do. I want to text him right now, but I'm thinking that maybe if I don't talk to him every night {like I'm used to doing} then maybe it'll help. I really don't want to not talk to him though. Gah! Why do things have to be complicated when it comes to liking a person and getting over them?

Another thing that's bugging me is that I've been here for a week and I feel like I've not accomplished anything. I've bought a wireless router for my computer and I've gone out with my mom to the store and to pay bills. That's about it. Its pretty difficult, though, with my mom working during the day. She has the car and its not available to use until 3:30 or later. That puts quite a restriction on my hour availability when looking for jobs.

I need to get so many things done. I have set goals for myself, to get these things by a certain time and yeah, I've only been here for a little less than a week, but I still feel like I've done nothing.

Let me break it down ...
Things that I need {in no particular order}:
~ a car {I want to have this by Oct. 1st}
~ my license {I want this by Aug. 31st}
~ a job {I want this by Aug. 1st}
~ my own apartment {hopefully I'll have this by Christmas or the New Year}
~ money {I just need this ASAP}

Things that I want/need {again, in no particular order}:
~ a new wardrobe {some of the clothes I have I've had since high school}
~ to plan for my week long trip back to Tucson in the beginning of October {I really want this to happen only cuz I sort of promised some people that it would}
~ new friends {I'm sure these will come with the job}
~ a boyfriend {and I mean a real boyfriend ... something I haven't had in 3 years}
~ my freedon {this is more a need, but I'll keep it at an even 5 for each set}

Ugh, I've lost my train of thought again. The thoughts keep racing too fast for me to get them out before they're gone again. Maybe tomorrow I'll have more sorted out to write about.

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a non-entry
Friday. 7.20.07 1:55 am
I've got too many things going through my mind right now to write out actual entry. I can't focus enough to get it out in an entry.

Maybe I'll write tomorrow if I can get it all sorted out enough.

*self thought*
I have a link to my Nutang on my myspace page ... I wonder if anyone clicks it ...

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Help me
Wednesday. 7.18.07 8:05 pm
There's nothing that anyone can really do to help me. Time is about the only thing that will help this.

I'm very confused about the way that I feel for Stuart. I wish there was a way that I could get over him without losing him. I love staying up to talk to him and joke around with him. Even the other night when we actually talked about what was going on in my head and his, though some of the things bothered me, it didn't actually hit me until after we stopped talking for the night. That's when I got upset.

I really want to see him again. I wish that there was a way for us to somehow be together in the future, but the odds of that are thinner than a piece of paper. Among many, many reasons one of them is that he doesn't like me in the same way. I'm not sure if him telling me that hurt more or him telling me that he was still into his exgirlfriend too much to put much emotion towards me. Both of them hurt me, but I'm not sure which one was worse.

Anywho I haven't really been looking too intently for a job. There's not really a whole lot I can do right now because I have very limited access to the car seeing as how my mom works during the day. She's off work tomorrow and Friday so hopefully then I'll be able to go out and apply at places. Due to my limited access to the car, I'm limited to where I can apply at. I need something near by so that I can get the car and head right out to work. If I work too far from the house it would limit my available hours even more than they already are. Hopefully I'll find something close by that pays well.

I guess that's it for today. My mind is too "focused" on how confused I am about Stuart. I'll write again whenever and hopefully then I'll have a more clear mind.

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Cars ...
Tuesday. 7.17.07 9:26 pm
I've decided that I want my first car to be used, but I want it to be somewhere between an '01 and now. {yes, there are '07s that are used} I also want it to be a convertable. I want every car that I own to be a convertable car. My mom suggested that I get a hard top convertable rather than a soft top because they're actually safer. She's funny cuz she keeps saying "a person who buys a soft top convertable might as well have the locks taken off their car cuz you won't need them" Its true, in a way. Even if you have locks on your car, or even a car alarm, all a person has to do is slash the top to get into your car.

You are limited on what models have hard tops though. Soft top is cheaper to maufacture on a car, but its about 3 or 4 thousand to repair if it is slashed. I'm probably going to end up getting a soft top and just praying that I don't have it slashed.

Right now, I'm debating between three different cars. I am going to have a convertable MINI even if it isn't my first car. I'd just be incredibly stoked if it was my first car. I want a Mustang convertable, not exactly sure on the specific model, but I do want a Mustang. And the third car that I've been looking at is the Saturn Sky. I really like it because its small. Its only a two seater, but that's fine with me. Less people to hitch rides from me. The only time that becomes a problem is when I want more than just one friend to come and hang out.

I know that I can get any of these cars without too much issue because my credit is pretty damn good. I've never made a late payment and I've never been overdrawn on my bank accounts. I've got good credit history with a credit card company, with my cell phone company and with the cable company. I've had my own apartment for the last 2 1/2 years and have always paid my rent on time. Pretty much the only thing is that I canceled my cable account because I moved and that's a legitimate reason. So pretty much, I'm set on credit right now.

I think its funny that I'm already deciding what kind of car I want before I even have my license, but this will give me some sort of game plan for when I do finally get my license and a job and money for the car. In that time, I can also research the cars and see what kinds of things they each come with and compare the benefits of each car.

Alright, I think that's it. I have a wireless router now so my connection is awesome. And I don't have to bum off whoever has a router without a secure network. I can't think of anything else to say so I'll write again whenever.

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