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Sunday. 4.1.12 5:35 pm
When it hits, I have no time to react...or maybe no reaction to execute. I've just stood up for the last song, gripping the low-hanging beam above-and-in-front with both hands. I lean backwards, away from the stairs, resting on my fingers.

Fast-forward: I can feel my hands twitching spasmodically, the fingers clenching and unclenching in short jerks around the edge of the metal. I wonder what music they're dancing to.

Fast-forward: I can't tell if my eyes are moving, or even if they're open. My face is slack, and I worry that I probably look very foolish, but I don't think to close my mouth.

The buzz is so intense that I can't even experience it until it recedes. For those moments, I was the buzz. The clearing of my mind is both pleasant and irritating, not-unlike the sensation of a sleeping limb regaining blood flow.

Well that was different.


Guys, I wasn't on any drugs or anything. I can't imagine how anyone here could think that, but let me be very clear. Haha

Double Edit:
Yeah it totally sounds like I was on drugs. Whoops. This describes my experience when I had the most mind-numbing head rush this morning in church. I think it was hunger-induced. But honestly I don't know.

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Lost and Found
Wednesday. 3.28.12 4:24 pm

One of my favorite parts of that movie was the soundtrack. Not AMAZING but surprisingly good!


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Well, then
Sunday. 3.4.12 3:23 pm
It HAS been a while, hasn't it, now? Almost a solid month. I'm actually off the list of newest entries! Good golly.

I'll start with the biggest news:

I gave my life to Christ on February 19.

Yeah, you heard me. February, 2012. After much studying of the Bible, (you may not know this, but I only really ever read it when I was expected to,) and a bit of...soul-scouring, I came to the conclusion that even though I professed Jesus, and I even believed in Jesus, I didn't seem to really care about Jesus. I was doing the minimum required in order to be able to consider myself a Christian, and even that out of a sense of duty or expectation rather than love and gratitude. I was taking everything for granted. When I finally came to terms with that realization, I decided to fix it. And I'm so grateful that I had that option! So here I am. If anyone wants to know more, feel free to message me or the like.

Hmm. What else?

I...got twitter? That isn't a question, I did get twitter. I just don't really know what else to say. I was going- OH

Well at one point, my friend was VERY upset with me, and I managed to win back his favor! I was super excited about that. I had to realize that I valued our friendship more than my pride and ask him to forgive me. I even arranged for mutual friends to intercept the letter from the mail and leave it in his backpack at his school (nearly two states away). And he did! Relief was palpable.


My spring break coincides with very few of my friends' breaks, which is sad since I rarely see them anymore.

I dunno. I'm done. What's up with you guys?

Also, there's this:

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So much
Sunday. 2.5.12 11:54 pm
All sorts of fun stuff going on in my life right now. Some of it is literal fun, some of it is other kinds of awesome, and some is really just deeply upsetting. But man, it's all distracting. Meanwhile I can barely keep my eyes open (I slept SO well last night! What gives?) and I have a test and possibly also a quiz tomorrow to study for.

The Super Bowl was pretty disappointing when it came to commercials. Very good game, though! I didn't care, and I was still pretty entranced by the end. But now I'm covered in lint from this guy's carpet.

Nothing is working out the way I wanted. Again, this is a mixed bag; some of the things I wanted weren't so great, so I'm grateful that I'm being vetoed. Very grateful. But other aspects of my life that were supposed to be SO simple have turned into complete garbage and I cannot get any slack.

Oh well. The moon looked nice. I'm off to tackle this again. 'til next time.

Also, lol what's Valentine's Day

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