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If only I had wings . . . by invisible @ NuTang.com
Sunday. 8.26.07 7:00 pm
We are no longer singing Eric Whitacre's "Sleep". Instead, we will be performing "Lux Aurumque". We've practive a little and learned that beginning. It sounds amazing. I love it!!

Check it out on Myspace if you have one! All of the Youtube versions aren't that great.

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New Start, New School Year!
Monday. 8.20.07 4:01 pm
Wow.. My first day as a senior. MY LAST FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL IN HIGH SCHOOL!! its so weird.. its like a was junior a few months ago... wait?

Moving on! The first day went pretty well.. [not really it sucked] My first period is small and idk anyone. Yet again thats kinda good because It's English and I'll focus more on a certain project better. I'm a tad bit A.D.D. at times.. but just a smidge.

My second period is huge.. Team Sports [yay....] Ionce again don't know anyone in that class. I have to dress out tomorrow and we get to play in the blazing heat. But thats ok.. the next nine weeks I'll be learning how to drive ^.^ ["OMG shes a senior and can't drive?" Yeah.. thats what you just thought. Well, if my parents won't teach me, somebody has to!]

Third period.. oh lord its going to be amazing. Chorus this year.. Were at the top.. Its us.. Were going to Hawaii hopefully. New York would be amazing too.. but I was just there on Vacation. Were going to be performing Sleep, By Eric Whitacre [Great song, look it up on Youtube] So yeah.. GO KOWBOYS!! ahwoo!

Fourth period is going to be fun too. French class ha ha. But no really.. the teacher is amazing, and she wants to take a trip to France this year. That might be a little steep price wise, so She said she'll settle for Quebec to lol. But yes, once again, Idk anyone in the class.

So yeah.. The day was amazing [and yet it sucks because I barely know anyone]. So Cheers to the last first day of school for the remainder of my highschool years! well.. year.

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Thursday. 8.16.07 11:55 pm
I have to remember this day for the rest of my life.
I have to record it.

August 12th, 2007

Woke up early to go to work.
Had the worst day ever.
Just a complete wreck.
Jessica took me home after work
Talked to Mommy Dearest about the war
Got ready for Janette to come get me.
Pedicure for me.. Manicure for her..
Pro Top Nails right across from FatBoys
The fragile little asian woman working on my toes told me I was a Beautiful Girl.
"What are we doing next?" I ask
"It's a suprise!"
Janette took me to the Boardwalk for the first time.
Walked around for about 15 minutes in the Blazing heat, then left.
Randomly, we decide to go to EPCOT
Norway boat ride. of course!
It's like tradition now.
China anyone?
We walked around the store for a little while.
Next up Italy.
Bough a handmade Mask like Janette and Vlady.
If the theme is Masquerade at prom.. we will wear them.
It's beautiful.
An aged porcelin look with music notes below the eyes.
Mixed in is black above the eyes.
Japan is my tradition.
I always eat there.
Fast food Japanese food., then stores
Went to a small shop and bought silver dog tag necklaces.
Engraved in Japanese it reads "Forever Britt/Vlady/Janette"
Three necklaces decorated with music notes
"Music Forever Britt"
In the next store..
We see beautiful silk robes.. almost two-hundred dollars.
One of the ladies helped up but them on and put out hair up with a single stick.
Pictures were taken..
The young asian woman looked up at me and called me a Pretty Girl.
"You very pretty" - "So cute"
Bought the tradition Japanese stick... things.
Janette and I watched the end of the fire work show and left
"I don't know where we are.. we can't get lost!"
After a few moments struggling with direction, we find our way on the right track and head to Gaylord Palms
"I'm thirsty, theres a resturaunt!"
We enter a little bar in a steakhouse and ask what they have for non-alcoholic drinks
"Wait.. did you say Pineapple juice?"
Afterwards we went to the restroom
I very attractive.. and very drunk young girl enters and grabs me around my waist and removed me from the mirror.
Begins to ramble about boys being assholes and wanting to me a lesbian.
"I want to have a girlfriend!" she would say and giggle.
After Gaylord Palms we still have an hour to kill.
"Oldtown isn't to far by." I suggested.
We talked for a little while in the car..
Parked infront of the skydive ride.
"Let's do it!"
"Oh my God I can't beleive were doing this.."
"Were so high!!"
Oh God.. I can't do this.. I can't do this.. I'm doing this!"
"Hurry Brii pull the trigger! Pull it!"
Janette and I agreed were taking Vlady on board then next time we decide to risk our lives.
"I'm gonna be late! I have to home in 10 minutes!!"
"Dad I'm home!"
Vlady's Online.
"Theres gonna be a meteor shower sometime soon" he says
I've always wanted to see one.
Ever since I was a little girl.
We both look outside and see one... and come back in.
Adam calls "OH MY GOD are you seeing this?!"
He tells me to lay flat on my back an look up.
Sure enough I see little white streaks flying between the stars.
I call Vlady and we talked while looking into the stars.
A perfect ending to a wonderful day.
One of the best things about my day..
laying on my driveway on the phone with Vlady at 2:00am
"Make a wish Vlady."
"No, you make a wish!" he replys....

Make a wish

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Wednesday. 8.8.07 4:18 pm

Thing have been... a complete wreck. I want this all to end. No more wars... no more pain.. no more suffering.

Leave me Alone.
Leave my family Alone.
Stop talking shit. I don't want to here it. I can't take this anymore. Too many simple complications... I've been pushed to my breaking point. The simplicity of the matter has been taken to extemes..

Leave me Alone
Leave my family Alone
Every word pushes me farther away. Your digging your own grave. You lost me. It's to late to apologize. Try to find a way out of this one. Your simple minded strategies won't save you this time. I can see right through you. I know you better than anyone on this Earth. I never thought I'd have to turn against you. Everything I know about you from being your bestfriend I now use in defence. I know what your up too. You can't hurt me anymore. Don't apologize.. I don't want to hear it. Stay away. You've cause enough damage. How could you do this. Why.. After everything I've done for you, this is how you repay me. Three years straight talking shit about me. You were never a friend. You were never a good person. A two-faced liar is all you are. You used me.. torchered me.. abused me... And this is what i get..

Leave me Alone
Leave me family Alone
I'm through with you.

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Monday. 6.18.07 1:59 pm
Things are getting interesting.
[not really]
I don't really know what to do anymore.. This situation.. is getting worse.. It's not right.. it's regret. I know it will be.. I'm not sure this will be ok.. I'm not sure it will work.. I can't keep doing this to myself.. I can't keep doing this to him. It's not right.. It doesn't feel right. In the end who will regret this more. I Already do.. I'm not like this.. This isn't me.. My comfort zone has been invaded by my own stupidity.

So lovely.. what do you think now? This apparently isn't that interesting. You certainly don't speak up now.. But is very willing to pick a fight on my opinions. So lets here it now. Whats your opinion
[shut up]
Yeah.. you always say that
[It's not my decision]
Well.. ya seem to try and control them.. so what's it gonna be this time?
[you did this to yourself. I didn't have to help you fuck yourself over. This is your fault. your problem.. don't ask me for help]
Ask for help? Lovely you brought yourself into this because of him.
[insert comment]
I know that's true.. I'm learning to fight that emotion untill it whithers away. You just never understand what i want
[What you want? What about.. you know.. We both wanted that! you know it! You still wish he would come back. You'd want him hear if you could magiclly bring him back. You have your own demon to face. I'm over it.. It's you.. not me. So don't say I don't understand!]
Ok.. ok.. bad comment to use [yeah.. it was] in this situation. I don't know.. i guess im picking the fight right now
[um.. YEAH! you called it out babe]
I know.. i just can't get over him. It's gonna be hard too.

And him.. I need to stop this.. he needs to realize it's wrong for me. It's not me.. I can't do this to myself or him any longer.
It comes to an end.. This regrets stops now.

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Hey there!
Wednesday. 6.6.07 10:08 pm
Thats right kids!! another update

My family life... has gone to hell.. theres nothing left of it. I'm currently going to therapy for family issues and personal crap... but whatever, my mom is still crazy, my dad is still working 90% of the time, my sister graduated and has a car so shes rarely around. you.. that about covers it.

School is now... OVER!! I am offically a senior x.x CREEPY. life is going by too fast. This year was the best and worst (as a say ever year). With Chorus I tried out and Made Dynasty (a 16 member chamber Choir that dresses up). So.. WOO!!

My love life... as been interesting.. not amazing.. not a wreck.. just.. bleh. To start off.. I havn't seen jerkface since he got fired from work (psh.. i don't care... yeah i do) It will be four months with Janette this upcoming friday. But, I fear we will not last untill then.. I have screwed myself over with this relationship. There have been SEVERAL things that have bugged me about her, but I've left them in the dirt and stayed silent (bad idea) I've learned we are just not right for eachother. There is no connection, no "love", it just isn't ment to be. I've been craving intimate attention lately.. but thats not the reason i may depart from our relationship, I'm not the type to push someone too far (no im not talking about sex you sick minded people) I just want someone whos not afriend to take control.. i've been craving intimate touch for a while. The closet i've gotten to it is her best friend an I joking around sadly lol. This individual also think i like him.. which i find rather funny. He is an amazing person, and a great friend, i love him dearly for that. Which leads me too..

My friends have... been amazing as always. I started hangin out with Kristi a lot before she left for her 2 month rode trip. Tyler and I had several disagreements at the end of the school year, but got over it and act like a married couple again lol. He as a beautiful girlfriend and is every happy. I'm happy for him ^.^ Off subject... I've been hanging out with Tyler and Adam a lot more lately, and we've been having a BLAST!!!! I say Another good friend of mine just yesterday, nd we had a lot of fun ^.^ My friends are still amazing, and I wouldn't trade any of them for the world.

Work has been... eh.. ok. I still work at Fatboys, and everything has been pretty good lately.. i guess.. I get money lol, thats good enough

Summer has been.. AMAZING!! all of the about with the exception of school. friends, fun, late nights, and so much more to come ^.^ I'm going to New York with tyler XD!!!!! its going to be amazing. I want to come back to Florida after that to watch his band perform at a Christian concert.. but so far my mom has said no... I don't want to go to Tennessee for "Family Time" ugh not without Tyler.. I'll DIE! However, other than that, summer has and will be amazing!

I think that just about covers my life in a nutshell the past few months.. untill next time!!!


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So... theres this guy...
Sunday. 3.11.07 12:07 pm
Hey kids! It's time for another random update!

School is pretty good. My new classes are pretty good, like the teachers (except Miss Munroe x.x). Um.. yeah.. nothing really exiting so say about school... moving on!

My family life has been a lot beter than usual recently. The occasional tiff here and there.. but nothing really new. Well.. I hit a little rough patch a few nights ago.. but it wasn't as bad as usual. Mommy dearest was in the hospital again this past month. Pain... questions... answers... emergency surgery... everything went pretty well! Shes fine now and back to herself.

My friends are amazing as always. I don't know where I'd be without them.
I've had many fun times this past month. From disney.. the movies.. hanging out... staying out all night.. getting in trouble XD. I've had a blast!

My love life has gone down the drain. I broke up with Matt about a month ago due to too many simple complications. I have enough in my mind x.x, I don't need my boyfriend to make things even more complicated. It was a tragic ending.. and a new begining in my life. I'm still shaking off the last few drops. One year and two months of my life with someone that changed over night.. it's still a touchy subject.. However.. as akward as it sounds a am in a new relationship. Acctually a couple days before Matt and I were completely and perminately seperated. Some tell me I'm just rebounding.. maybe i was.. who knows at this point. Through all of this a really do like this person.. but thier heart is set on a different path. Set to the one they have wanted for the longest time... I know she likes me.. but she want soneone else. Someone who i hate to say is better than me. The kind of person I've looked at in the past.. But that past feeling has soon become present. I don't want to like this individual.. but i can't help it. My "love life" has fallen to pieces these past few months. And I've bacically been an emotional wreck.

In April I have too much going on. I will not be attending school much at all. Along with the free week of spring break (PARTY!!!) Wed. the 18th through Sun. the 22nd I will be somewhere in south Florida attending state for the drama department.. OMG I CAN'T WAIT XD. It's going to be a blast. ~ Mon. the 23rd to Tues. the 24th I will be in Orlando for our Chorus districts. another trip im looking forward to.. not as big as the next one.. but i can't wait! And... the big one! That same week I am going to Williamsberg VA, for a choral competition. To top off all of the trips.. a vaction to a beautiful place... XD i can't wait for all of these trips. ^.^

My job has been... eh.. I'm not even gonna go there x.x

Well. this ends my random babbling for the time being! Untill next time!!
This update has ben brought to you by Midnight

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another one
Monday. 6.26.06 5:17 pm
That's right kids! It's time for an update!!

The end of school was painful..seeing everyone leave.. saying my last goodbyes. I went to graduation to see my baby, Matt, graduate. I didn't cry.. I was too overwhelmed with emotion to react. It was like losing family, and watching them walk away. However, I'm proud of my baby, and all my friends that made it through highschool. I wish them the best of luck in college and the real world.

Summer.. it's been going pretty good. Started out going to the beach a lot with friends. Disney, Movies, friends, and even fishing. I've been fishing for the past week, finding nothing else to do. Matt came over and i showed him how to fish for the first time. It was fun, I love being with him. I have not been able to get a summer job BUT, I will be getting one when school starts. I will be saving up for chorus and a cruise at the end of the year. Friends will be going, so it's gonna be so friggen awsome!

When school starts, I will be a Junior. I have dropped drama for the year, but will continue in chorus. I MADE CHORALE!!! Osceola's top choir, known all around the state as one of the best.It's going to be a blast. However, that is my only elective for the year. I am taking all honors classes, including nursing programs. I am very serious in taking my career in the medical field. I simply cannot wait to learn more.

Love life.. awsome. June 24 marked 7 months with Matt. I am very happy with him, and I want to stay with him. He is the love of my life. We have had our ups and downs. However, nothing will ever seperate us, not even my friends. I just simply love him ^.^

That wraps up my update for now. Untill next time,


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