Days of the year
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The short list I suppose
Wednesday. 9.3.08 11:14 pm
Elessar said this might be good for me.
We shall see.
The List of Secrets - short:
1) One of the main reasons that I never dress up or go that extra mile to look good everyday is because I worry that if I did that and no one complimented me I'd be crushed. If I were to put my best foot foward every day and nothing ever happened I don't know if my already tiny self esteem could handle that.
2) When my best friend was living with me this past summer in my old apartment we were really close. One of my favorite parts of the day was laying in bed while he was in the shower - listening to his music and to him singing. It's weird but I sometimes felt more close to him at that time than usual. I'd lay there and sing along looking at the patterns on my ceiling just thinking about things. It's still one of my favorite things about him and of my day. I think it's one of the things I'll miss most as well.
3) Last summer I had a crush on a girl in my Philosphy of Religion class. I am not generally attracted to women. I've had a few bad experiences from the other side of this and it has left a very poor impression on me. However, though this girl sat at the back of the class and never really said anything I would find myself turning back to look at her or waiting for her to walk into class. It was a little weird, but at the time i hadn't had a crush-like feelings in SO LONG that it was almost welcome. Had she talked to me I don't know what I would have done.
4) When I'm alone, I talk to my cat. I tell him all about my day and my thoughts about things. That in and of itself - not that weird. But, when I do do it, I talk to him in an accent. Usually a BAD impression of an accent - but still.
That's all for now - and it's stuff just off the top of my head.
Tuesday. 9.2.08 11:29 pm
I watched this with my mom for her birthday. Of course, this was like a month ago - but still. The whole time I was watching it - I wondered why I was this woman. This song also fits me way more than it should.
Wednesday. 8.27.08 12:31 am
if the last person you dated said they were in love with you, what would you say?
I have never been on a date. If the person that I last had a crush on had told me that.....well, I would then know that I have either gone insane or have finally entered the twilight zone.
do you think your exes still think about you?
Seeing as I've never dated....i've never had to deal with ex's.
Whats currently bothering you right now?
The fact that I just got home, want to sleep and my cat has decided that NOW is playtime. Not only that, but that my bed is the playground and that I am the monkey gym. Althought he's playing with his new blue fish ball toy so that's kinda cute.
What are you currently hearing?
Torch by Alanis. She is my hero and my subconcious played to music.
When were you last outside?
about 10 minutes ago. I dropped off Aldo at work and then came back to my room to get ready to go to bed.
What was the first thing you thought this morning?
Why did he still want to go camping?! It was JUST pickles! He was going to KILL us! ........now i'm scared.
Are you currently frustrated with a boy/girl?
currently? no. but i probably will be again in about oh....8 hours.
Who did you last say I love you to?
During my lunch break to my brother. He's enjoying college and has already formed a little niche for himself. ^_^
Have a best friend?
More than I deserve. Starting from when we met: Christie, Kelly, Priscilla, Monica, Melissa, Marco, Carlos, and Aldo.
Are you gonna get high later?
On life? Probably not.
Who was the last person to text you?
Melissa. SHE'S GOING TO BE IN FORT WORTH!! In november, but still.
Who was the last person you had a phone conversation with for more than 2 minutes?
I'm currently on the phone with Aldo. :)
When is your birthday?
If myspace made you pay would you still use it?
Nope. no, no, no deffinetely not.
Who is your number one on myspace?
Aldo. My current best friend and roommate and helpy helper.
Whose graduation will you attend next?
Heck if I know. I guess my brothers? Unless it's mine!!! ^_^
Would you ever consider piercing your lip?
Heck no. I'd probably get it infected or something.
Have you ever gotten a sunburn so bad it hurt to move?
Yes! This past June the church youth had a car wash for the congregassion and I got burned.
Do you toss & turn for hours at night or fall right to sleep?
Usually for awhile. Sometimes I forget how to go to sleep and then I start freaking out at the concept of falling asleep and then it takes me a few hours to actually go to sleep.
Has anyone ever hung up on you?
Oh yes. Even worse is when they leave you on the phone and walk away so that you're talking to yourself like an idiot. But, that's only happened to me once. Being hung up on has happened numerous amounts of times. From various people. Usually my parents though.
Do you have unlimited texting?
Ha! I have like barely 250.
When is the last time you talked to number 1 on your top friends?
Still on the phone with him. Dropped him off at work about...40 minutes ago.
Did you speak to your father today?
Not today. I should have though.
How did you wake up this morning?
scared from a nightmare.
What were you doing at 7am?
picking up my best friend from work.
Have you ever driven without a license?
when I was learning how to drive I guess. I've been driving without a sticker for like 4 months.
How have you felt today?
Tired. and bored. Work was boring today since we only had like 10 customers.
Is there any emotion you're trying to avoid right now?
Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
Are you a forgiving person?
People have told me that I'm TOO forgiving. I suppose there is such a thing.
What side of the bed do you sleep on?
I sleep NEXT TO THE WALL.
Are you wearing shorts?
nope. I'm going to bed so i'm wearing things that I sleep in.
Last people in the car with?
What are you up to this weekend?
I don't know. I'd like to see a movie. Then again....I'd like alot of things.
Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
Yes. I'd prefer 'love' though.
What is something you like to do when you're down?
Watch a movie or two.
Do you think anyone's thinking about you right now?
nope. probably not.
Probably in late september. It'll either be camping or a little get away trip. I'll probably go home for awhile in November and December. HOME!
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
...............I honestly don't know.
What are some things that you have everywhere you go?
My cell, My keys (usually)
Who do you text when you're having a bad day?
Kelly. She's my shoulder to lean on.
If you couldn't find the remote where is the first place you look?
Under the sofa cushions. It usually ends up there.
Do you still draw with sidewalk chalk?
I would if I had either a sidewalk or some chalk.
Were you happy when you woke up today?
On a happy scale of 1 to 10? I was probably a 4~
Last time you laughed?
I don't know. Probably sometime today.
Do you regret anything from your past?
If you could seek revenge on someone, would you?
Depends on what they did. As of now there's no one i'd like to avenge myself upon.
Mom. About my pets and how I should not have them.
What are you doing sunday?
Church, Work, Sleep. In that order
Do you have trust issues?
Not too much, but im not the ever trusting girl I once was.
Do you have a brother?
One younger brother that I love very much and am very very proud of.
Do you do your own laundry?
Yep. No one else would ever do it for me. Except my mom.
Is the opposite sex really worth it to you?
I'm going neutral on this.
Have any stalkers?
Not a one.
Have you ever wondered how seedless watermellons are, well, seedless?
Yes. I did. When I was little I thought that farmers would open them up, take out the seeds - then put them back together and let them grow and they would just kinda....mend themselve.
Who was the last person you stayed up with till 2am?
Jaden, my cat. He is ever present and willing to love on me.
Who did you last go out to eat with?
ALdo. I was in the mood for Chili's.
Do you listen to Incubus?
Every so often.
Does your little brother put your clothes on?
NO. That would be way weird.
Have you ever been in an interrogation room?
nope. I have a fairly clean record.
Have you ever been called insane?
Oh yes. But just for acting silly most times.
Have you ever been recorded on film without your permission?
probably. By friends or something, but nothing specific comes to mind.
Who is the last person you physically hit?
Aldo. he was pinching my knee, i told him to stop and he just wouldn't listen.
Did you know that marijuana is legal in Afghanistan?
no, i didn't. Why on earth would I care though?
How many people of the opposite sex have made you cry?
All of them.
How many people do you have in your phone under "T"?
Who is your skinniest friend?
Christie that size -1 little......thin person
Does the last person you kissed make you happy?
When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
If you had to stay awake for 24 hours, what would you do in that time?
Watch movies, read, play games, talk on the phone. Basic stuff.
Who do you text the most?
Recently? Aldo. Before then? Mel.
If you could work at any clothing store, which store would you pick?
If you could go a week forward or a week backwards, which would you choose?
Where was the last place you went shopping?
Want to kick anyone's butt?
Are you missing anyone at the moment?
Why did you last cry?
Who knows? There's always something.
What was the last thing you and your mom talked about?
School, and work.
What color are your parents' eyes?
If you could get paid to do anything in the world, what would you do?
I would get paid to read teen fiction books. Or to eat food. Or to go on endless vacations. Or to take photographs for a living all expenses paid. Or to write.
Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Do you have any relatives who squeeze your cheeks when they see you?
Yea. Just one. Crazy grams.
Have you ever had a "kick me" sign on your back without realizing it?
Nope. Had one on my cat though.
Do you know anybody who's got a "Chocolate" cell phone?
Nope. We're all broke.
Approximately, how many students are in your school?
Not in school.
What classes do you not pay attention in at all? Do you just complete other homework in there?
again with the not in school. geez.
When you are grounded, what are you usually restricted from?
Life. I'm not allowed to do anything but chores and be online. But, that hasn't happened since I was in High School. I used to be grounded all the freakin' time though.
Sunday. 8.24.08 10:48 pm
My job's going well. Just got paid. Am somewhat pulling myself out of my mountain of debt. Once i'm out....i'm out.
Life is going well. My brother starts college tomorrow and i'm so proud of him it's unmeasureable. He's an awesome kid with awesome ideas. There's alot of good in his future.
As for me? Well, things could be better. Things keep running through my mind that I wish weren't there. But, what can you do when you're in these situations right? I'm working on righting wrongs and once those are taken care of things will be alot better I hope. I can't wait to go back to school and start teaching. Then, I can't wait to start teaching and go to Grad School.
Sometimes I wonder if planning things out really can set you up for failure and a loss of hope. I had this whole idea when I was little of what my life would be like. I can't even tell you how far off the tracks I am from that vision. Of couse this was from the same little girl who envisioned herself as both as astronaut and a ballerina (Astronaut during the day, ballerina at night). I used to be full of nonsense.
But, life can come at you sideways sometimes. Just saddle up next to you and smile while you get the wind kicked out of you. Eh, Things aren't that bad. Actually, things haven't been this good in awhile. The haze appears to be somewhat starting to lift. I don't want to be preemptive about this - but it's true. Hope will be enough to keep me together and get me to where I need to be. LOL, for all I know this IS where i'm supposed to be. I don't know. Perhaps it's nothing but perception that's throwing me off. I go on myspace and it seems everyone is at a completely different part of their life than I am. Getting married, Going to Graduate school, Moving cities and getting JOB jobs, Starting families, having anniversries, being blessedly happy. All those people deserve it and I don't want to knock them down a single step. They're all really good people that i've known most if not all of my life. I pray that God walks them through everything and that they come to be more happy than they ever could have imagined. I pray the same thing for me. One day, it could happen i guess. No harm in hopeing right? Or is there.....
lol, i'm just ranting.
I miss dilated and zanzibar.
Ya'll were great.
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