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meh
Monday. 9.3.07 7:37 pm
So I'm probably going to start my walking/swimming routine on Thursday. I was hoping to have started it by today, but Thursday works just as well.

I'm done with Charlie completely. I went on his myspace page, as I tend to do every few days or so, and saw something missing. The comment I left him. He deleted my effing comment! It wasn't even anything offensive or too direct or something like that. Actually, it wasn't even words! This Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket is what I posted as a comment. And he deleted it! What a douchebag.

I've been watching the show How Its Made on the Discovery Science channel all day. They're running a marathon. Some of the things are quite interesting. Other's hold no interest for me.

It was hot again today. No surprise though. It'll be hot every day up until sometime in mid November.

The one male in this household of 5 decided to put his y chromosome to use and he grilled up dinner. We had grilled pork chops, bratwursts and mini corn-on-the-cobs. We also had garlic cheddar mashed potatoes with it. There are plenty of leftovers. I would have had seconds, but I couldn't resist having a couple donuts about an hour before dinner was ready so my stomach couldn't handle any more food. Dinner was done almost two hours ago and I still feel as if I'm about to burst. It was tasty though.

Uhm, I think that's it for today. I shall write again whenever.

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One less day
Monday. 9.3.07 1:55 am
I'll have one less day of limitted alone time seeing as how tomorrow is Labor Day and only my mom has to work. I'm stuck dealing with my sister {who I don't mind being stuck with} and the two roommates, Jean and Steve. I don't mind Steve so much, because he's considerate and stays quiet so that I can sleep. But Jean just doesn't care. She needs to move the fuck out.

My mom's coworker has no problem with me using her key and pool pass to get into the pool in her apartments. She even said that if I go swimming on Thursdays she'll go with me. It would be nice to have company. If the office asks on a day that I'm alone, I'll just say that my aunt Charlotte told me I could use the pool. She's old enough to be my aunt and she looks close enough to be distant family so it would work.

We were in an excessive heat warning today and tomorrow we're in an excessive heat watch. Then we'll be getting down to 97 by Thursday, but we'll be back up to 100 by the weekend. I know that I've already talked about this, but its just so hot. And I've got nothing else going for me so give me a break.

Anywho, I was watching this show earlier on the National Geographic channel called Taboo: Outcasts. It was basically exactly as the title suggests; the people who have been cast out of their "group" or "family," etc because they are different from the "norm."

They had a few psychologists on the show to talk about why people felt the reason to outcast others who are different from them and its simply because they fear difference. What really irked me was when they were showing the guy known as the Lizard Man and she was saying how it was a cry for help the way he has transformed his body.

On another show, Taboo: Body Modification, they talked more in depth about why a person would pierce or tattoo their bodies to such extremes. Even someone like myself or my sister would be questioned {and are, on occasion} about why we've done the things to ourselves as we have. I have three tattoos and 11 piercings. My sister has 18 piercings, but all of them are in her ears; 9 holes in each one. Its nothing extreme like the Lizard Man, and never will be, but psychologists like to tie us all in together.

It pisses me off that people who don't like it themselves question and constantly badger us about why we've done it and what would happen when we get older and decide we don't want it anymore. The piercings are easy enough; all we have to do is take them out. Tattoos are a little harder to get rid of, but you can very easily cover them; as long as you don't have your face or hands tattooed. If you really, really don't want it anymore, you can have it removed by way of laser. Its expensive and, I hear, very painful.

I bet those people don't question and badger people who are vegetarians or vegans about their chosen lifestyle. I bet they also don't ask why a person would dye their hair or get their nails done or drink alcohol. All of which can do damage to your body in one way or another.

It just pisses me off.

Alright, I think I'm done ranting for tonight. I'll try and write more tomorrow.

{btw, if you want to read the rant I did earlier on blackfire, the password is rant. I was pissed off and upset so it all just kind of came out in a jumble}

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hot
Saturday. 9.1.07 6:45 pm
This past week has been about 10 degrees above average for this time of year. We've also been in a heat advisory or warning for the last week. Tomorrow is supposed to be 109. That's seemingly nothing compared to Lake Mead or Death Valley. The high tomorrow at Lake Mead is supposed to be 116 and in Death Valley, 122. Ugh.

By Thursday its supposed to be down to 97, but then by the weekend it'll be back into triple digits. Damn desert heat.

I've been watching a show on what would happen if we had no moon. Some of the theories make sense, but others are just dumb. I've also been giving my own personal commentary on the show. Even though some of the outer space stuff catches my interest, I'm more interested on the animal life here on earth.

I'm almost done with Absolute Fear. I would have been finished last night, but around 3am, I was yawning more than once every 5 minutes and I was having a lot of trouble focusing my eyes on the words. So I finished the chapter I was reading and shut the book. I will be done tonight, though. The only unfortunate thing about it is that I'll need to find another book to read. Time to go raid my sister's collection. I'd go through mine, but its buried in the garage somewhere.

I'll find it one day, but I'd need to climb over a lot of stuff to get to it. There's a small 2ft wide walk-way going from the door into the garage to the garage door. The rest of the two car garage is full of boxes, totes, furnature and other odds and ends. It could take a long while before its discovered and completely "unearthed."

Uhm ... I've just sat here for the last, I dunno, 10, 15 minutes trying to think of something to write about and nothing is coming to me. So I guess I'll write again whenever.

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4 hours 30 minutes
Friday. 8.31.07 6:26 pm
That's how much sleep I got last night ... err, rather this morning. I went to bed at 5am {which seems to be my recently regular "bedtime"} and I was up at 9:30am. I set my alarm for 8am and it woke me up, but I didn't get up with it. My mom woke me up at 9:30 to let me know that she was going to get in the shower and that we'd leave afterwards.

While she was in the shower, I got up and got on the comp for a little bit. When she got out, I went in and got dressed to go out.

I've come to the resolution to lose weight. I need to at this point, if I want the clothes I have to continue to fit me. They still do fit, but barely. So I'm gonna ask my mom's coworker if I can borrow her pool key and pass so that I can go do laps in the complex pool. I'll use the one that's on the opposite end from the office so as not to attract too much attention to myself. And since this is Vegas, I'll be able to keep it up for at least another few months before it gets too cool to go swimming. I'll walk to the apartments; they're right up the road, go do laps for about an hour and then walk home. It would allow me to work out and possibly attempt at getting tan at the same time. If the coworker says yes, I plan on doing this three days a week.

Anywho, back to the day. We went to mom's work first to pick up her check. Afterwards we went to the bank and then headed up north to pay the rent. After the rent was paid we stopped at home real quick so that mom could make a list of things to get at the store. After the store, we came home. She asked me if I wanted to go anywhere else, but I didn't really want to.

That was my exciting day. Ha. Something fairly interesting happened last night. I was texting back and forth with my sister so when my phone alerted me that I had a text, I thought nothing of it. I opeded the phone to see that the text was not from her, but from Stuart. Now, I hadn't talked to him in a few days and it seems to be easier and easier to resist the urge to text him. So it caught me a little off guard.

The gist of the conversation went from me still not having a job to his ankle to his friend coming back to visit for 10 days. When I teased saying that ten days was plenty of time to catch up and have fun, but that I knew how it was to not want something like that to end, his immediate response caught me really off guard and I got annoyed at myself for my reaction. His text stated "you need to come back and visit." It made me smile and be happier than I should have been. I made myself concentrate extra hard on the book that I was reading so that I wouldn't be able to let my mind to get too carried away. The text convo ended with that and I had to resist the urge to ask him why. But I resisted and kept on reading. I'm going to wait till he texts me again, but its going to be on my mind more than it should.

Alright, I think I'm done. I shall write again whenever.

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never before
Thursday. 8.30.07 10:58 pm
The last few nights I've been wanting to watch this stand up special on HBO, but I've felt oddly uncomfortable watching it with my mom in the room. The profanity used in the hour long show is incredible ... which is what makes it all the more hilarious. But my mom has never been a fan of profanity and I feel awkward watching the show with her in the room.

Never before have I ever had to worry or think about what I was watching, but now I do. I don't have a door to close. Everything that I watch, anyone can walk into the room at any point in time with no prior warning and see what's on the TV. Let me just tell you how much that blows.

Anywho, I've been wanting to write an entry all day, but I've been having trouble thinking of what to write about. I still don't have anything else write about. Uhm, so I guess I won't.

BTW, the HBO special is Bob Saget: That Ain't Right. If you haven't seen it, you should. Unless of course, you don't want to ruin the image he made for himself by being on Full House. If you want to remain to see him as that person, don't, I repeat don't watch his stand up comedy. His stand up is the complete polar opposite from the show. Here's a small preview ... I don't understand why the one word is bleeped out, but whatev. You should know what's being said anyway.

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hiya
Wednesday. 8.29.07 12:24 pm
I only have about half an hour left of alone time. Then I don't get any more until next Monday. I wasted my alone time both yesterday and Monday by sleeping. Today, I only wasted 3/4 of it by sleeping. I got up in time to have two hours of alone time.

When Jean gets home, though, I'm not going to turn my music down. It doesn't seem to bother her too much and right now I'm not playing the techno that I have been the last few days. I had to shut it off yesterday because it had started to bug my mom. I don't really care if it gets on Jean or Steve's nerves. The more that bug them, the sooner they might be compelled to move out. But this is my mom's house so I'll respect her.

I seem to have made my "bedtime" around 5am. The last few nights, that's about the time I've been laying down to sleep. Mostly its because I haven't been getting up very early and because I have trouble putting down a book that has a hold on my intent interest. Oh well. I can only hope that getting a job will regulate my currently irratic sleeping patterns.

As I mentioned, I'm reading the book Absolute Fear. Its got me turning the pages. I keep losing track of time. The only thing that alerts me of what time it is, is when Jean's alarm goes off at 3:30am and then she leaves to go to work around 4:45am. Then again, whenever I'm reading, I tend to lose track of time. I can ignore almost anything that's going on around me, even the obnoxious yelling the cats sees fit to do at all hours of the day and night. I get that from my mom though. She could be reading a book and not even realize that someone is standing next to her trying to have a conversation with her until someone touches her. Its kinda funny to watch people who don't know. They think she's purposely ignoring them.

Anywho nothing exciting has happened to me since the last time I wrote. I was going to write an entry yesterday, but I couldn't even think of how to start it. After 5 minutes of staring at the screen, my screen saver came on and I gave up trying to figure out an entry.

The wedding dream that I had a few nights ago is still with me. Whenever I close my eyes, I see myself in that dress. Standing at the alter with my soon-to-be husband in front of an audience of people. I realize that I'm feeling happiness and sadness at the same time, though I'm not sure why.

I think I've discovered why I had that dream and why its seeing fit to bug me as it is. I was supposed to be getting married this year. For real. Maybe my subconscious is reminding me of that, though I don't know why it would. It doesn't seem like a very descript reason, but its a sensible one.

I want to go for a walk; I can feel my leg muscles starting to weaken, but its just too hot. You can bet on it though, that once it starts to cool off I'll be walking on a regular basis ... unless I have a car. Then it might not be every day, but I'm still going to try.

Alright, I need to get this out. There's this song that everyone needs to listen to. Actually, there's two, but I can't remember the name of the other one. So once I ask my mom what it is, then I'll tell you. Anywho, back to the one song. Tim McGraw - Don't Take the Girl. I don't care if you don't like country, you need to listen to this song. And don't just simply play it and say you listened to it. I mean really listen to the words being said. Its an emotional song, not in the sense that you'll cry your eyes out, but if it doesn't put at least some sort of emotion into you, the I'd check to see if your heart was still functioning properly. {If you're too lazy to go find the song yourself, I'll make it really easy for you. Simply scroll down to my playlist at the bottom of my page. The song is on there}

Okay, now that I've gotten that out, I'm good. I also don't know what else to write so I guess this is the end of the entry.

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