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The weather
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My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
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not fun times
Saturday. 9.8.07 6:48 pm
I don't know about you guys, but I hate it when one person at the dinner table is in a bad mood; the vibe just sits over the table like a rain cloud with awaiting lightning ready to strike at any moment. Everyone is afraid to talk just in case something said is what triggers the person in a bad mood. That's how it was tonight.

Finally, after everyone was about halfway done, Steve broke the silence by poking Lori's hot dog with his fork. It didn't dissipate the cloud, but it eased the tension some. Steve's excuse for poking the hot dog was that it was "sitting too straight on the plate. It needed to be knocked over." He didn't knock it over, but it was still kinda funny.

I really wish one of the people calling me would be someone calling to hire me instead of a wrong number. I had a person call 7 times today looking for a hotel. The first two times, I answered and told them it was the wrong number. A short while later, that same person called again. I ignored the call. Right after the voicemail picked up, they called back. I ignored the call again. Right after that, they called another time. This time I answer the phone {with emphasis on every word}: "You have the wrong number. Please don't call it again!" They don't listen. Another two times they call; neither time I answer. Tell me this, what hotel of any kind has an answering machine that starts out "You have reached the voice mailbox of ... etc?" Seriously? Luckily they haven't called back. If they do I'm either going to answer and tell them off or just ignore it.

Anywho, Jean was actually considerate today. She managed to stay quiet so that I could sleep. Either that or I was just really, really tired and slept through any noise that was made. Somehow, I'm actually unsure as to the reason ...

Alrighty, I can't think of anything else to say. I guess I'll write again whenever.

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*le sigh*
Friday. 9.7.07 7:30 pm
I've been feeling really weird over today and yesterday. I'm not sure exactly what is triggering it, but its affecting my decisions.

As enthusiastic as I was about swimming, I don't really want to now. And as much as I'm cooped up in the house, with me not having a job or available transportation, I haven't been wanting to leave the seclusion.

I'm feeling almost useless because no one is wanting to hire me. They'll hire a 16 or 17 year old, but not me? Its not fair. The way things seem to be going right now, I don't think I'll be able to get a job until after I'm 21. I really don't want to have to wait that long and since I'm not planning on celebrating the "special" day, I wouldn't even mind working that weekend. Unfortunately something tells me I'm going to end up waiting either way.

I'm sorry that I haven't been commenting lately. I have been reading the entries, but with the mood I've been in, I just haven't had anything worthwhile to say in response. I promise that as soon as this mood has passed I will resume commenting.

I really hope this mood passes soon. I hate feeling this way.

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one month from today ...
Wednesday. 9.5.07 4:35 pm
I'll be 21. I'm not excited about it anymore, as I've said. I mean sure, I still have a month to change my attitude towards it, but I highly doubt my mood is going to change about it. Whatever. I already know what my mom is getting me. Its already been discussed from a few years ago; when we were out in Vegas the last time. She'll be giving me $100 cash and letting me loose in the casinos. I'm not expecting anything from anyone else. I don't really want anything from anyone else. The only thing I have to have on my birthday is a chocolate cake. Its a must have on my birthday. Other than being able to go anywhere I want in a casino and getting a cake just for me, October 5th has no significance for me. It will mean just the same this year as any other.

I got the pool key and pass so tomorrow I will definately be going swimming. I don't think I'll be able to walk there because the blister is still not healed. What I didn't think of was that my mom is off work tomorrow so she'll be able to give me a ride if Charlotte can't. I was told that I needed to call Charlotte in the morning before I go to see if she'll be going with me. So that's what I'm going to do. Part of me hopes she can so that I won't be alone in the pool, but another part doesn't want her to be able to go cuz I don't really know her and would be a little awkward at first. Oh well. Either way I'll be happy.

The modem has been giving me problems lately. Its not the router anymore. I've had to reset the modem a few times in the last week or so. Its getting really annoying. AllI want to do is go on the internet and go about my business, but I can't cuz the stupid modem wants to be difficult. Whatever. Its working fine now.

I wasn't so lucky as to have a quiet house again today. Yesterday it was really nice. Even though everyone was home, the house was still quiet. All I could hear, aside from the small noise I was making, was Lori's TV because Tony was over and she has to keep her door open. Only mom and Jean are home right now and its getting louder and louder. Gah! I guess its a good thing I'm not watching anything important on TV.

I'm reading {or trying to read} the book The Vampire Lestat. This is the third time I'm attempting to read the book and its just not catching my attention. I have no idea why. I was able to get into {somewhat} and read through and finish Interview With A Vampire, but this book just isn't doing anything for me. Maybe tonight I'll get off the comp early and get myself into a determined attitude to read into this book.

Uhm, I think that's it for today. I'll write again whenever.

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screaming in protest
Tuesday. 9.4.07 4:14 pm
I finally took the time to find out how long it would take for me to walk from here to the apartments where the pool is. So I got up, got dressed {figuring I'd be hot when I got back so I'd save my shower for later} and headed out the door.

It took me 20 minutes to get to the apartments. It was hot, but the sun was on my back so it wasn't as hot. I got to the playground, right before the pool and decided that I'd turn around and head home.

When I was walking back, the sun was in my face. The wind was blowing harder than when I had left the house and it was a hot wind. I got down to the intersection, which marked the halfway point and stopped to wait for the crosswalk signal to tell me it was okay to cross.

That's when my legs started screaming at me. I haven't walked that far since I left Tucson ... actually, this is farther than the distance between my old apt and my old job. I started to get impatient, knowing that I needed to start walking again before the screaming became worse. Finally the signal changed and I crossed. My legs stopped screaming, but they were still sore.

I got just across the intersection and I was on my last strech home, when I realized just how hot I was. My mouth had suddenly dried up, despite the gum I was chewing to help keep the saliva going. The sun was beating on my face and the whole front of my body. I had to fight my stomach from trying to jump out of my mouth and I had to keep my legs moving. {when I got home, I glanced at the weather indicator I have and at 11:30am it was 101}

When I finally got to the road that led to the house, I gave up trying to keep my hair from blowing too wildly in the wind. I no longer cared what I looked like; I just needed to get inside and out of the heat. I was about to pass out.

I get inside, drop my keys on the table and take a giant swig of water. I drained most of the 1/2 liter bottle in less than 10 seconds. Bad idea. A few minutes later, I ended up dry heaving and the only thing that came up was the water that hadn't quite made it to my stomach. It was not fun.

I was still out of breath and decided to take a shower to wash all of the sweat off me and maybe the hot water would relax my muscles. It didn't really help. I had to sit down 3 times while in the shower and each time I put my head back to wash out the shampoo, I had to fight to stay upright and to keep the rest of the nothing in my stomach from coming back up.

Once I got out of the shower, I put on pajamas and layed down on the couch. After about 10 minutes I had managed to calm my breathing down to normal and I decided to try and sit up without the contents of my stomach shifting. It worked.

I slowly, after a little bit, was able to get up and walk around without feeling nauseous. I drank more water, only much slower this time as to not upset my finally settled stomach. After another short time, I felt that I should eat something; thinking maybe that would help. I heated up leftovers from last night and it helped.

I'm fine now, with the exception of a small blister on my Achilles tendon from my ankle bracelet rubbing against it between it and the shoe. I won't be able to wear my shoes until it heals. So that means that walking is out of the question until it goes away. I'm definately not going to walk that kind of distance in my fuzzy flipflops. Maybe if I had normal ones, but since I don't . . .

On Thursday I might see if mom's coworker can come pick me up {if the blister hasn't healed} so that we can go swimming. If it has healed, I might walk there, but bum a ride off her on the way back. I might even drive myself, seeing as how its her car that I'll be taking my road test in. Its a little bigger than my mom's car so I'll need to get the hang of the different vehicle.

And that was my day. I don't have any other plans tonight except to eat dinner and chill out at home. Besides, this entry is plenty long enough so I think I'll end it now.

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Monday. 9.3.07 7:37 pm
So I'm probably going to start my walking/swimming routine on Thursday. I was hoping to have started it by today, but Thursday works just as well.

I'm done with Charlie completely. I went on his myspace page, as I tend to do every few days or so, and saw something missing. The comment I left him. He deleted my effing comment! It wasn't even anything offensive or too direct or something like that. Actually, it wasn't even words! This Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket is what I posted as a comment. And he deleted it! What a douchebag.

I've been watching the show How Its Made on the Discovery Science channel all day. They're running a marathon. Some of the things are quite interesting. Other's hold no interest for me.

It was hot again today. No surprise though. It'll be hot every day up until sometime in mid November.

The one male in this household of 5 decided to put his y chromosome to use and he grilled up dinner. We had grilled pork chops, bratwursts and mini corn-on-the-cobs. We also had garlic cheddar mashed potatoes with it. There are plenty of leftovers. I would have had seconds, but I couldn't resist having a couple donuts about an hour before dinner was ready so my stomach couldn't handle any more food. Dinner was done almost two hours ago and I still feel as if I'm about to burst. It was tasty though.

Uhm, I think that's it for today. I shall write again whenever.

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One less day
Monday. 9.3.07 1:55 am
I'll have one less day of limitted alone time seeing as how tomorrow is Labor Day and only my mom has to work. I'm stuck dealing with my sister {who I don't mind being stuck with} and the two roommates, Jean and Steve. I don't mind Steve so much, because he's considerate and stays quiet so that I can sleep. But Jean just doesn't care. She needs to move the fuck out.

My mom's coworker has no problem with me using her key and pool pass to get into the pool in her apartments. She even said that if I go swimming on Thursdays she'll go with me. It would be nice to have company. If the office asks on a day that I'm alone, I'll just say that my aunt Charlotte told me I could use the pool. She's old enough to be my aunt and she looks close enough to be distant family so it would work.

We were in an excessive heat warning today and tomorrow we're in an excessive heat watch. Then we'll be getting down to 97 by Thursday, but we'll be back up to 100 by the weekend. I know that I've already talked about this, but its just so hot. And I've got nothing else going for me so give me a break.

Anywho, I was watching this show earlier on the National Geographic channel called Taboo: Outcasts. It was basically exactly as the title suggests; the people who have been cast out of their "group" or "family," etc because they are different from the "norm."

They had a few psychologists on the show to talk about why people felt the reason to outcast others who are different from them and its simply because they fear difference. What really irked me was when they were showing the guy known as the Lizard Man and she was saying how it was a cry for help the way he has transformed his body.

On another show, Taboo: Body Modification, they talked more in depth about why a person would pierce or tattoo their bodies to such extremes. Even someone like myself or my sister would be questioned {and are, on occasion} about why we've done the things to ourselves as we have. I have three tattoos and 11 piercings. My sister has 18 piercings, but all of them are in her ears; 9 holes in each one. Its nothing extreme like the Lizard Man, and never will be, but psychologists like to tie us all in together.

It pisses me off that people who don't like it themselves question and constantly badger us about why we've done it and what would happen when we get older and decide we don't want it anymore. The piercings are easy enough; all we have to do is take them out. Tattoos are a little harder to get rid of, but you can very easily cover them; as long as you don't have your face or hands tattooed. If you really, really don't want it anymore, you can have it removed by way of laser. Its expensive and, I hear, very painful.

I bet those people don't question and badger people who are vegetarians or vegans about their chosen lifestyle. I bet they also don't ask why a person would dye their hair or get their nails done or drink alcohol. All of which can do damage to your body in one way or another.

It just pisses me off.

Alright, I think I'm done ranting for tonight. I'll try and write more tomorrow.

{btw, if you want to read the rant I did earlier on blackfire, the password is rant. I was pissed off and upset so it all just kind of came out in a jumble}

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