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happy b-day to me
Friday. 10.5.07 12:03 am
Its my birthday.

I'm 21.

Yay me.

I'll write about my day later.

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Wednesday. 10.3.07 4:49 pm
I went to the job fair. It wasn't very productive. I got a couple applications, but I'm going to wait till after Friday to turn them in.

Mom had this rendezvous thing at the Texas, so when I was done with the job fair, she headed off to do that and I went over to the food court/movie theater area to wait for Lori and Tony to come get me. They came and got me and we headed across the street to the new Wal-Mart and wandered for a while. Then they dropped me off at home and they went over to his house to hang out before he had to work.

We had fun wandering through Halloween stuff. I want the fake blood and the skull candle holder that when the candle melts, it looks like the skull is bleeding. There was also this two bottle nail polish set; they were shaped like coffins. Lori found these slippers that she wants for Christmas. I'm gonna hafta show mom so that she knows.

That was probably the highlight of my day.

Tonight Bionic Woman and Life is on. I'm not too sure about Bionic Woman, but I really like Life. The guy is pretty funny even when he's not trying to be.

We're having meat loaf muffins for dinner. They're tasty, don't judge.

The cat won't shut up. I went to bed at 2:30am and was awake at 4:45am because he was howling so loud. I finally fell asleep again around 7:30am, but I was up again at 11am. He hasn't shut up. Even when he's laying down and looking like he's going to sleep, he'll start. I already know its what we're gonna hafta deal with when Jean leaves and takes Kitty Girl, but god, she's still here right now. He doesn't have to be obnoxious yet. I will never have a cat as a pet.

Tomorrow I have no plans. Sleeping, eating, playing on the comp and watching TV. Ma and I might go out at some point, but she usually does laundry tomorrow so its only a possibility, nothing definate. Friday is the day with the plans. But even those are nothing special.

This was supposed to be a shorter entry ... ooops.

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the dark day approaches
Monday. 10.1.07 2:33 pm
As much as I don't like it, I can't seem to stop talking about it. My 21st birthday is on Friday. What do I plan on doing? Nothing special. No partying. No going out and getting wasted beyond imagination. No gambling. Well, maybe some gambling, but only because I finally can. I might get a drink or two too, but nothing extreme.

Having lived in Vegas 3 seperate times, I'm used to the casinos. The only thing I don't like, is that I'm confined to specific areas of the casino because I'm not yet old enough to gamble. I have no urge to sit down at a table or a machine, but if I'm in a conversation with my mom, I want to be able to continue it if she stops at a machine. Even if you're not playing, you're not allowed to stand in the area if you're under 21. Its quite annoying. From Friday on, I will no longer have to worry about that.

I have no idea what I want for dinner. I'm actually leaning towards having pizza delivered. I don't want to go out anywhere; someone might slip and announce that its my birthday. Seeing as how restaurants have a bad habit of making their employees sing it, I'd rather spare them the annoyance and myself the embarassment. I don't want anything fancy, nor can I really afford it even if I did want it.

I already know that I want a chocolate cake, but I'm deciding whether I want an ice cream cake or a regular one. At the moment, I'm not leaning more towards one or the other. I have until Friday to decide. Something tells me I still won't be decided by then either.

October seems to be a very popular month for birthdays. My first ex's 21st is today. My friend Thomas's 22nd is tomorrow. My 21st is on Friday. Stuart's 21st is on Saturday. Scott's 21st is on Sunday. My best friend's ex's 20th is on Sunday also. Later this month, Charlie's birthday is on the 26th and then my Uncle's birthday is on Halloween. Its a good thing I'm not close to all of these people. I'd need an awesome paying job in order to pay for gifts for everyone.

Alright, I think this'll be the last entry about my birthday until the actual day. I'll do my best to avoid the topic. I want to avoid the day; unfortunately its impossible.

End of entry.

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entry time
Monday. 10.1.07 12:40 am
I still really don't know what to say so this might be rather cluttered.

I am looking forward to what ikimashokie has got going on in a month. She's got the best idea ever but won't be saying anything about it for a month. She's gotten me quite intrigued by telling me there will be pictures. I can't wait.

Alright, so I still occasionally go to OkCupid.com {I'm not linking it, its not worth it} but I rarely stay long enough for people to catch me on there. Tonight, I was not so fortunate. I decided, though, why the hell not. I'll talk to this guy for a few minutes. He kept trying to get me to tell him all this sexual crap. Once I made it very clear that he wasn't getting any info on me, he turned the convo to more appropriate content. Damn creepy, weirdo internet people.

Tomorrow night Chuck and Heroes will be on. I'm looking forward to it. The premieres were awesome last week.

I've started thinking about what color to paint my room when I finally get moved into it. I'm either gonna go with a blood red color or a darker grey color. I'd paint it black, but since we're only renting this house, black is too dark. I'm definately going to repaint it though.

Uhh, that's it for tonight. I'll write again tomorrow ... or later, I guess, since its after midnight.

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gah! {edit}
Saturday. 9.29.07 10:18 pm
I'm so sick of the internet giving me problems. Only half the web sites I go to are working. Some of them just aren't working at all and others half work. They start to load, get halfway done and stop. Its very frustrating. Its not a virus this time, because I just ran a scan and nothing was found. The internet is just being gay.

Anywho, I am in no rush to go back to Target just to see if I come across Charlie again. The next time I go to the store, I really would like to actually purchase something. Unfortunately, I need a job to provide the cash needed to purchase something. Nothing is looking up.

This Wednesday {the 3rd} the Texas Station Casino is hosting a job fair which I will be attending. I'll be 21 on Friday so I'll be able to tell companies that if they ask when I'd be able to start. I really don't want to start working on my birthday, but I will if I have to.

On Saturday I'll be reapplying everywhere that I already applied at. This will allow me to skip all of the "under 21" questions they have to ask to narrow you down to a specific group. They're quite annoying.

Uhh, that's it for now. I don't know if I'm going to write any more later or not, but right now my mom wants to reset the modem to see if that'll fix the problem. Which means I need to sign off. I'll either write later tonight or tomorrow sometime.

{EDIT} The internet seems to be working just fine now. None of the sites I visit are giving me a problem.
The desktop {the comp with the modem and the router} was saying that there was no internet connection and the router wasn't being detected. Mom unplugged and replugged both the router and the modem and when that happened, my connection was lost and then gained again. It was connecting for me, just not very well. On the desktop, it wasn't connecting at all. So what I had her do was repair the connection and that seemed to work. Both comps have working internet again.

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bad dream gone ... weird
Friday. 9.28.07 9:43 pm
Last night I had a dream that started out bad, got worse and ended up weird. It wasn't necessarily a nightmare though.

It started out with my mom getting a phone call from my older step brother {how he got her number, I'm not quite sure.} He told her that he found out my little step brother had cancer {I don't remember what kind} and that the odds of him surviving till his 14th birthday {he'll be 13 in February} were not likely. It was a very somber atmosphere after that, but the dream skipped ahead. I don't know how far, but it was dark outside and I was out there.

I was walking with someone heading away from a bar or a pub or some sort of restaurant where I could drink {it was after my 21st.} The guy was tall with dark hair and he looked like someone I had seen before in real life, but I don't know who he is. We were talking and when we reached his house, I told him I didn't live that far, I could walk from there. He insisted on walking me all the way home, but I told him that was fine.

He said okay, but once I walked away from his house and got around the corner, he was suddenly right next to me again. I told him again that I really didn't need him to walk me home, that I'd be fine. He said that he didn't know where I lived and he was curious. I said fine, that he could walk me to the driveway; I really didn't need him to walk me to my door.

We get to my house and I say goodbye, thanking him for the couple drinks and walking me to my house even though it wasn't at all necessary. I turned and headed toward the house and he was right by me again, telling me he wanted to come in. I said it wasn't my house, that it was my mom's and due to the later hour I didn't think it would be right for him to come in.

I unlocked the door and went to close it, but he put his hand on the door and stopped me, insisting on coming in. I told him that I wasn't comfortable about it and that he needed to leave. If he didn't I'd not hesitate to call the police. There was a struggle then, for me to get the door shut and for him to get in. That part ended and it skipped ahead again.

It was night out again, but I was in an apartment complex in the parking lot outside my new apartment. I had a few friends over and we were all outside admiring my new self-given gift. It was a motorcycle. I had bought a motorcycle! But I didn't know how to ride one yet. I was simply in the parking lot with my friends, playing around. I would sit on it, put my helmet on and pretend, but it would stay stationary. It was a black bike, with dark blue tinted here and there that you could only see if the light hit it in the right place. Not a crotch rocket, but still a sports bike. It was nice.

Then the dream ended and I woke up. See? Bad dream gone weird. Oh well. It was just a dream.

Anywho, I can't get Charlie off my mind. I almost wish I hadn't seen him. It would have been easier. I wouldn't have a very clear picture in my head. I'd just have the pictures on his myspace to go off of. Unfortunately I saw him and now I see him in my head quite clearly. Ugh.

Alright, that's it. I'll write again whenever.

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