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Friday. 6.11.04 10:28 pm
... i really hate the feeling in the pit of my being right now.

eh. not the time...

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Maybe my mind does exist...
161th day of 2004
downtown eyes meant to hear everything. worlds in which people are intresting. places to create vanity, sounds to induce sanity. reason killing humanity. secrets told from hidden shouts and knowledge known only in furious bouts. killing done in open seclusion and school taught in serious delusion. Worlds collide and humans die.

Electricity pulsing through the brain, one sad man dying of strain, wake to the world, it sleeps in the underworld. watch them as they run and tell stories of the untold, taking scenic views of the worthy and bold. they're creating, snipping, editing the movies now. claiming to know, but never really knowing how. shh, listen, theres nothing to hear. look now, your losing everything dear. give up, stand up. walk away,do as i say.

take it, day by day. it just might, be okay...

hrm... maybe i can write. tonight, right now, has been the first time in a while now that my mind has been awake. out of the hazy fog, a mind awaits, taking its pick and doing as it will....

hrm.. i feel good. this is good.


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Wednesday. 6.9.04 4:40 pm
i stopped writing. this is bad. i've stopped writting at the moment. i was going to post the optimism but that died quickly. ah, whats wrong.

i need a new obsession. Hrm....

so few yet, so many in which to choose from.

i ponder the aspects...

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Tuesday. 6.8.04 11:57 am
fuck. this isnt good. hrm...

recently i've been so... fucking... annoyed with people. not annoyed. okay, maybe annoyed. but this whole socializing thing, the whole having to talk to people and what not. thats fucking annoying. i cant stand it. i kind of feel bad becuase i really and truly have become a hermit recently. i dont know. i saw someone i knew at this thing and i wasnt in the mood to talk to them so i basically blew them off. then later i was like whoa, i didnt mean to do that i just didnt feel like talking to anyone. then i saw other people and i really just, left. didnt feel like it. the whole human interaction thing, thats overated. right now, i am taking comfort in my solitude. i enjoy being alone. but then i have to start summer school and talking to people has to start again. i think i'm just going to leech off of strong and not talk to anyone. dude, its indescribable the feeling i have right now. so much hatred to stupidity, imaturity, and people in general. hrm. i dont like them. they dont like me. for the past week i've been giving off an aura of cold steel. hah. i dont know.

people are bothersome. i say, leave the stupid obligations of having to talk to stupid aquantancies at the door and move about with your own lives.

i was watching people the other day, high school students, and i realized how fucking immature and annoying so many of them are. i know there are a few choice ones in which are decently acceptable but, again, rare. I dont want school to start, i dont want people to talk to me.

i dont know.

this is me bitching about something in which not a person can change. people will be who they are. flashy, cheesy, and stupid.

i shake my head.

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Friday. 6.4.04 10:30 pm
tried to please the mum. STILL DIDNT WORK DAMN IT!. ah i dont know why but it still happens to work out like that but, eh, thats life.

Got the report card. thats what the previous blurb was refering to. got straight A's for the last six weeks AND the semester. Hah. Man. If you counted just this year i would have a 4.0 gpa.

shes still not happy.

will i forever be a disapointment?

damnit. TWO perfect scores none the less.



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Thursday. 6.3.04 5:25 pm
dude, read something stupid. no wait... read something someone wrote and i swear man. people are stupid. people shouldnt exist they are so pathetic.

losing confidence in the human race. not that there was much to begin with but, eh. Whatever.

Tommorow. At nine. HahHahdsjfk

mum wasnt here.

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