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an odd attraction.
Thursday. 6.17.04 11:00 pm

i swear, i am attracted to the most FUCKED up boys on earth. eh. he's cute in a very uncute way. eh. hes funny.

ok. i think i dont want to go into that and i nevermind....

eh. theres alot to put. but i dont feel like writing it all out. should i? i'm not really sure. Hrm... no not reallly...

i've been having a decent time at summer school. eh, there are people there that i can laugh around but not have to be loud. i'm really quiet and really just me. but not at all. i'm liking it.

i need a job. that would be really welcome. maybe i should. dont think i could get the approval from the higher powers though.


so much to write no time!!!!!!!!!!

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Tuesday. 6.15.04 4:54 pm
i'm tired.

thats all for now.

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Tuesday. 6.15.04 4:54 pm
i'm trying to decide wither to go to sleep or stay up. i dont know.. its fucking 4 in the after noon and i am SOOOOO fucking tired.all i want right now is sleep but i know that if i sleep now there is no way in hell that i'm going to wake up in the morning cuz i have to wake up at six. fuck. i hate summer school. actually. eh. its not all that bad. i kind of had fun talking to jeff. the teacher hates us but we cant help the way we are. we look like "bad" kids. ok, maybe its the fact that during breaks we stand with all of the stoners. but hey, destinys not that bad and people will be who they will be. i uno. the teacher hates us though. its not like i need her to like me anyways. i got a fucking 110 on her test. PATHETIC! ok. what was i going to say? i dont know.

i think all whatever minor intelligence i once had that randomly floated along in my brain has now been completely and utterly destroyed. its kind of nice. haha. i really have not thought in quite a while. i was going to retort today, as in i was going to be fucking smartass and own over the kids in my class today cause they didnt know shit about what they were talking about. but then. i was like, FUCK IT. i mean. i really dont feel like articulating my words at the moment, and even though i can fucking make you feel like shit, its so not worth the effort. usually i'd be up for the destruction. but today. no.... just not going to happen. i just kind of made small comments here and there to jeff, and laughed alot at them. and thats it. haha. sad but true. i think i've given up on thinking. this is horrible. this is summer man. lol. i wana talk to jessica. i dont know if i should call her. but heres the problem. i come home, eat, watch a lil tv then fall asleep on the couch. then i wake up and i'm like FUCK, i gota clean the house, so i clean it, and by then, its like 5 and i cant call her. and right now,w ell i just havnt cleaned yet lol. but oh well. i should call her. hey jess, ima call you tommorow. lol. man, i miss talking to someone with intelligence. please help me spark some thought. PLEASE! lol.... eh. i dont really hate it. whatever.

i think i'm going to get rid of DA. i dont know. i might. its questionable. or i could just never post another poem on there. thats possible as well. i don tknow. i feel that my shit on there is i dont know. i cant really explain. but. i dont know. i had changed my style of writing so everything up there is all new. the new style. i donnt want to stick with the new style all that much. i kind of want to go back to the old stuff. but reading that, i dont likeit. i dont know. i dont want my old stuff intermingled with my new stuff and then yadayada. so yeah. maybe i'll make... no... i'm to lazy for that.

ok i think i'm getting rid of DA. no i'm not. am i? i dont know. maybe. maybe not. we shall see. maybe i should intermingle the two.

ok i am so not in the mood to contemplate this. how about it sits there for a couple more days then i make my decision. YeP!

can you tell i have no brain cells left?

i want cig. hrm....

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Monday. 6.14.04 9:59 pm
hrm. this is odd.

is this a change?

am i in a better mood?

i just might be...

hah. i dont know. i think its the music. i think it my lil bro. its a number of things.

rage ALWAYS gets me in a better mood. its a travesty that i dont have any of their cds. Ah, dude i love these guys.

yeah its the music.

i went to school today. sucked. as usual. have a test tommorow. not worried. dont care. yeah, a number of things.

fuck am i wired right now.

ok. saw some people. yeah. mostly stayed quiet, nodded my head a few timees. eh... its times like that that i actually miss jessica and or strong. need someone to make me laugh. eh. Jeffs in my class so i guess its cool that i can joke around him. but even that is half ass. please. its just jeff. eh.

i have 11 more days left so thats not too bad.

i hate driving on skillman. I SAY DIE BITCH!

this is me rambling but i'm way to hyped up to write anything of content so an inane babble will have to suffice.


i felt guilty actually. i saw this kid. really really wanted to talk to him. but the people i was with wouldnt let me out. actually i was standing takling whatever with them and marco (the kid) wasnt their style so i couldnt go over there.

it sucked.

ok i'm done.

for now...

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Saturday. 6.12.04 6:22 pm
okay. this is fucking wrong. seriously wrong. Its a saturday afternoon and i am BORED off my ASS! shit this is horrendous. i cant stand it. being bored slowly translates to being sleepy and then being sleepy slowly translates to unproductivity, which then leads to loss of braincells.

i feel dumber as is.


i am so bored. someone please come save me.

shit. david. he needs to come over like NOW. hrm... what an interesting idea... lol

ok. phone time.

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Friday. 6.11.04 10:30 pm
times back then were different then they are now...

i think i'm giving up. maybe it really is time to give up and let it all go.

what if i destroyed priscilla? what if i completly and utter got rid of who she is. started from scratch.

what would happen then?

what if i hid her from the world to see.

what if i returned to the old her.

what if....

i dont think i will but, its always an option isnt it?

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