Saturday. 4.17.04 10:25 pm
I'm so torn up now
Can't believe I lost you
Lost my best friend, my soul mate..
Can't believe it's true.
At times, I honestly don't want to love Caitlin the way I do. Theres no point to it, especially if I'm only gonna' see the girl once every four years. I--..
I'm not writing about her right now. Not yet, atleast. Today..
Today I woke up at 8 sumtin 'cause m y mom wanted me to drive early since I don't have my permit anymore. Driving.. it's really not any fun to me, especially if I'm not going anywhere for anything. Just driving to drive = boring.
Went to Freddy's house. HIs mom is friends with my mom so mi madre y yo just went there and stayed for about an hour. Freddy ( who goes to bowie ) left for the step team show since I guess he's on it, and his brother ( lamar ) went with me and my mom back to our place. He's upstairs now, banished to my room playing NFL street.
As of right now, I'm talking to Michelle.
I love you.
She asked me to take her to her drama banquet a few weeks ago. I really do want to go, but I've got this ominous feeling that something'll happen. She'll cancel at the last second because someone better came along and wants to take her, which would suck, but make alot more sense. I'd love to take her, and I really want to, but how often does Jon get what he want?
Alot, right? My life's been pretty good, and I'm definatly thank ful. Everytime I go visit a friends house, like Charles or Ivan who live in Grand Prarie, I feel a little bad. They live in the same Ghettos that I used to live in a few years ago when my dad was getting over his drug days. He lost out on so many oppurtunities because of drugs, so my tolerance for drug abusers isn't really that high..
The only druggy I can stand to be around isn't around, so .. atleast I don't have to worry about second hand smoke.
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Friday. 4.16.04 11:09 pm
I'm not feeling too well...
My nose is stuffed. I've got a rather large headache aswell.. My body is really hot and I feel like lying in bed for ..
For, well.. forever. Or, until something comes up that's worth me getting up.
School isn't worth that. Not now, anyway. I don't learn anything anymore that's really useful other than photorgraphy, since I like that. But alot more of it just seems like a big waste. I learn some spanish, but I'm gonna' forget it all in ac ouple of years. I don't give a damn about Mendal's discoveries about human chracteristics and traits in Biology.
English.. we're doing poetry stuff. We were supposed to paradoy some poem a few days ago, but the teacher didn't give us alot of instructions. I turned mine in, and she handed it back ebcause it wasn't school related because of drug usage.
Half the pot heads I've met school at school.
Infact, the only potsmoker I do know who doesn't smoke at school is Isabella... Isabella. I love her. I'm not sure how long I have, but I know I do.
Not saying I want to though. She's killing me.
Anyway, I wonder what my plans are this weekend.. If I still feel like crap, I'll stay home and listen to music. Music music music.. right now, it's Anthony Hamilton.
I love Anthony Hamilton's voice. I'll take his RnB over Usher anyday. Just like I'd take Nas over Jay anyday.
I need to find my wallet. I need to find my permit. I need to find myself..
I need to get some rest, actually. And prettify this page up.
I got my report card today... 'Twasn't all that bad. 'Twasn't all that great, though. I've got to do good this six week period in Journalism so that if I do bad on my final, I can still pass. So far, I've gotten like.. 86 - 70 - 70
I think I know what I'm going to do tonight. I'll call Li. I wish I could go see her this summer in Louisiana. It's a much mroe attainable goal than traveling to Puerto Rico to see my beloved Antonia, or going upstate to Pittsburgh to see Randy. Or New Jersey to beat up Glenn again...
Or, I could just stay here this summer. I've already kind'a got plans for most of it.
A) Get job
B) Work (out) with Big Twin
C) Sleep. Sleep and Sleep.
I really pray that I can get my grades up alot my JR year. Freshman year, they were pretty average.. this year, my focus wasn't really on grades..
It wasn't really on anything that I can think of. But.. yeah.
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Monday. 4.12.04 6:30 pm