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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Conspiracy Friends!
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Object recovered!
Monday, September 28, 2009
This morning I had cashews and a fruit bar for breakfast, because the earliness of my classes does not permit otherwise. D:

I've been using one of the hair ties he gave me to close the bag of cashews. :P

And then in my tired state (I only got four hours of sleep because I was writing a reaction paper for stupid DNY) I put the tie somewhere, and couldn't find it.

BUT, after class, I straightened out my covers and there it was! So yes, much rejoicing.


Speaking of covers, I really need to wash this comforter. I keep sleeping on it in my day clothes because I just come back from class and take naps. Can't imagine that it's exactly squeaky clean.

Also, today's XKCD really speaks to me.


I added Lala to the BtD module. Go check it out, it's pretty awesome.

The webcomics list is continually expanding, too. So y'know, if you're bored, try clicking a few of the links in there... (I'll vouch for the quality of all the ones in there...)

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Everybody dies at the end of my stories
Sunday, September 27, 2009
This has been the case in the past, and I have no intention of discontinuing this time-honored tradition.

When I listen to A Kiss From Your Lips by The Flamingos, I want there to be a scene in a movie with it.

The music would be kind of muffled, and it would sound as if you were hearing it from the other side of a tunnel.

There would be a person, sitting by him or herself on the hood of a hollowed out, robin's egg blue 50s style car, next to a dry cliff somewhere as the last red smear of the sun disappeared behind the dark horizon. They would look distant, perhaps contemplative with a touch of sadness or regret. Overall though, the expression would be one of tired resignation.

He/she would slowly get up, stand for a moment, looking straight ahead at nothing specific, then turn and walk away from the camera into the distance.

As they get farther away, the music increases in volume slightly, until the figure has been engulfed by the darkness. Everything goes black then, but the music carries on.

My imagination ends it there, but as in a dream, there is a sense of knowing. As the person fades away, you know that they won't see the morning.


I feel like my mind stole this from somewhere and remixed and repackaged it...


Oh, I finally wrote a letter. Haven't sent it yet, but I'll do that tomorrow morning... Or maybe tonight? I need to figure out where to put it. :S

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A rather fabulous show
Saturday, September 26, 2009
We attended a show at The Knitting Factory last night. It was, simply put, awesome possum-tastic.

First band: Gnaw [?]

Sounded like: a thousand angry scribbles stabbing my brain

Highlights: Slow motion, unenthusiastic headbanging by lead singer; the BOOM man [just some old asian dude sitting on stage with a Macbook that stood up and started screaming "BOOM!" into a microphone.... truly epic though]

Second band: OVO

Sounded like: Crazy in a can, a trance of insanity, owls screaming while on fire

Highlights: The masked-wrestler looking, tanktop/skirt wearing fat dude playing the drums with astounding agility; the masked singer playing her dreadlocks with a violin bow; our inability to understand anything that was being said

Third band: Subarachnoid Space

Sounded like: Melodic dreams punctured by static with a touch of hypnosis, a carnival of robots being swarmed by bees

Highlights: The fastest drum playing I have ever seen; the front man's hand turning into a blur as he played his guitar; all the band members looking like cult followers because of their white outfits

Fourth band: Child Abuse

Sounded like: Meh disguised as rock with noise crumpled up and thrown all over it

Highlights: Their name; the pauses between songs so that we knew when to clap even though they weren't that good; the... singer's crazy antics; the creepy older guy stalking around who looked like a rapist

It was a good night. :D We were all a bit deaf after the show, but it was fun, so who cares? I especially liked OVO... search 'em up on Youtube if you're curious. Subarachnoid Space was pretty good too, but the noisy pauses between the rhythmic parts were too long and they made me impatient.

We're thinking about going to The Knitting Factory again next week, on Friday.


One thing I definitely do like about here; the public transportation makes it easy to go places. It just doesn't work like that at home. If we want to do something in San Jose, we have to find a ride, whereas here, we can just hop on a bus and a train and go anywhere we want, do anything... (within certain limits, of course)

There's a lot more freedom, and it's pretty great. I can't remember the last time I had so much actually going on in my life...

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Gahhhh stupid wind I hate you sometimes
Friday, September 25, 2009
The wind is blowing my hair into my face in a most unpleasant manner. D:

Let's see.... last night was fun. Umm, had dinner with my friends in the dining hall, then walked back to the dorms and like.... sat. On the floor. Outside my room. I tried reheating the leftovers my mom gave me in the microwave my roommates brought, but it started to smell burnt in the room so I freaked out and stopped it. Relocated the food to a plastic bowl that Saeedah supplied, and then tried again in her microwave.

Meanwhile, we Ousted my room, propped open the door with my chair, and attempted to open the window. We were unable to do so. (That thing is really freakin' hard to open...)

Thankfully the burnt smell left... and I don't think I broke the microwave, since they haven't said anything to me yet. For a bit though, it was scary.

I ate my food, and we continued to sit in the hall. After Saeedah left, Casey and I went into my room and searched up all the gay pride music we could think of on Youtube, and had a blast listening to it and laughing... We also went through the iTunes Essentials and said stuff like "hey, I have this song!" Or "I have all of these songs, and they're on the Gay Pride playlist.... what does that say about me?"

Fun stuff.

Still have not written him yet.... I should really do that. D:


-Talking about sexual experience-
One of us: Yeah it seems like he would've done more
Me: Just looking at him, I feel like he'd have been around the block a few times or something, like he'd have more experience under his belt...
-Short silence-
Casey: Wow
Me: Yeah, wow, that was a good one, gotta remember that one, man, I didn't even notice I said that at first

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Hey, I guess this is actually happening now
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Meeting arranged with Silver for Saturday, October third.

I still need to write a letter to him, too. D:

Why does this seem so harddddddd...


Hey, cool.

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Everywhere a drill drill
Thursday, September 24, 2009
4 AM: A loud buzzing noise permeates our room. The three of us awake, startled but sleepy, and sit trying to understand what it is. Finally my roommates put on their shoes and look outside to see if anyone else knows.

It's the fire alarm. The sound overwhelms everything else, screaming incoherently at us.

Feeling a bit ruffled, I shuffle outside in my pajamas, joining the mob that is flowing outside.

We stand on the wet grass in front of the building, waiting to be told that we can return to our beds. Some people are very upset about their interrupted sleep. Others are taking pictures with their cameras as the firetrucks roll up. I'm just laughing.

Finally they tell us that we can go back inside. Everyone gravitates to the entrance of the hall, pushing past fellow students so as to get back to bed more quickly.

6:30 AM: My alarm goes off. I quiet it with a touch of a button and try to sleep for a brief ten minutes, then sit up in my bed and think, tiredly, about getting dressed.

Eventually I dig some clothes out of my drawers and put them on, then put my bag on and go to class.

9 AM: A few students, myself included, stand outside a classroom, waiting to go inside. A voice crackles over the PA system, telling us that a fire drill is being conducted and to exit the building.



The green sour Jelly Bellys taste gross. It's like they took the coffee jelly beans that nobody wanted and spray painted them green.

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Missing posters D:
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I didn't get to take pictures of all the posters, because half of them were gone when we walked around today...

Here's the first one, though:

I just wrote whatever came into my head and then drew a picture to accompany it.

If you don't vote for Clarence his wife and kids will be mulched. :0

You can probably tell that I didn't know how to spell or draw a weasel...

Let's see... went to Times Square today. We walked into Magnolia Bakery, and wow, just wow, guys. They had these samples of banana pudding, and I was reluctant to try it at first. I was like "I dunno, I don't really like banana pudding..."

But then I tried it, and everything changed.

That pudding was freaking amazing. So amazing that I had to buy some more because it was absolutely delicious. Seriously. The small size was still more than I needed, but I kept eating it because it tasted so good. I ate the whole thing and then scraped out the leftover bits on the side of the container, even though I was full to the point of being sick.


People keep telling me bad things about him. Like I should break up with him and move on. I don't even know why they're saying these things. What would be the point of breaking up with him if I don't want to go meet other people? Wouldn't it make more sense to just wait for him to come back? And this "moving on" business...Really? It's not like I'm stuck on him. My heart isn't being broken more with each day that he's not here.

What is WITH people....

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Half and half day
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The first half of my day was not super peachy, but I guess that's alright.

I took a nap and woke up to my phone vibrating on the desk... I had been having a strange dream about chatting with a pedophile online.

...That was the first dream I really remembered in detail since I've been here...

At home my dreams are vivid and colorful, more-real-than-reality spasms of places and experiences.

Here my dreams are grey and unfantastic, and apparently have some sort of storyline...?

In the dream, I was sitting on a couch with some of my relatives, and talking with said pedophile in an online chatroom. He asked me if I had any pictures of me with my dad, and I said no, so then he started asking me weird things... Like did I have any pictures that involved waterwings or log rides.

I'm not sure if it would've gotten stranger, as Saeedah's call woke up.

We went to dinner, which was alright, if not extraordinary. For some reason I was starving... I ate everything I got, with the exception of a disgusting piece of honeydew that tasted of laundry detergent.

After that, we went and got ice cream, then returned to the dorms.... That's where the fun started.

Saeedah and I walked around, taping Post-its up that said "Saeedah 4 vice president"... even though she's not actually running. :P

Some of them were pretty funny. I wish I could show you some pictures, but I didn't really take any....

I also picked up the actually serious posters that had fallen to the ground, taped them up facing the wall, and drew on the backs with a Sharpie. It was pretty epic. Unfortunately I have no pictures of those either, but perhaps I will try and get some tomorrow...

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