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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Hey, I was actually right this time
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
So that guy who has been watching me finally approached me and said something today.

It was pretty nice, we had a conversation over baked goods and discussed classes and life. He said he hadn't talked to me earlier because I always had friends around and he thought it would be weird.

I thought about mentioning that I'm currently... involved... with someone (I still have a hard time coming to terms with this, as you've undoubtedly noticed...), but I figured there was no need to. As of yet he has just stated that he's seen me around campus a lot and doesn't have many friends. There was no mention of other interest.

Hopefully this will work better than the friendship I attempted to start with that other guy. I'm not swimming in estrogen here, but I would like to have some guy friends, since I didn't really have any in high school (AJ was just a class friend).

Umm no sign of a letter so far, so I guess I'll write to him again.


I love songs about violent obsession. :3

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Tuesday, October 6, 2009
I think I just failed my Chem test. Like, there is no way I did not fail. I only fully answered like 3/4 of the questions, first of all, and unless I got all of those right somehow I'm kinda going to fail. Literally fail. Not "oh noses I got a C!" fail. Like "CRAP THERE IS AN F ON MY PAPER" fail.

Oh frisky dingoes.


The entire time as I stared uncomprehendingly at my paper, I wished I could stop time. Even more than usual. D:


Things I always want to say to boring people:
-"You are not actually weird, unless you count being weird merely because you AREN'T weird"
-"That wasn't funny"
-"Your hobbies/habits are not as unusual as you think, a lot of people actually do that"
-"You're exaggerating when you say something about yourself is weird. You're exaggerating a lot"
-"I have to go do something now, bye"

Mostly though I just feign interest...

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Sunday, October 4, 2009
We should totally find MoDS and try and meet up with him. :D (He lives in New York, if I remember correctly...)

And if we can't meet up with him, we should just stalk him. Excessively. All the time.



Erm, anyway. I went to... Chelsea? today with Casey and Saeedah (by this time you should have figured out that they're pretty much my only friends here X|). I actually bought stuff... and they've decided that I'm very domestic. Woohoo!

We're going to start a band called Drunk Sluts, and we will be awesome. We'll play the electric banjo, keytar, rainstick, and paint buckets. It is truly a super duper plan. :P

Haha, oh yeah, and also we were talking about answering calls with "What's the stich, Wade?" and Saeedah was like, "your boyfriend would be like 'what is a sitch, and who the hell is Wade?'" ahahaha.

Good times. I must say...

Took some pictures of things today, but I'll post them a bit later. Got to do some stuff right now...


Right then, those pictures!

Here's a dude sleeping on a train.

Man knitting on the train. Or... something like that. We call him Knitting Jesus. :D

My stage name is Skinny Pigeon.

A heartfelt message to the general public, in a cheery shade of yellow.

Whilst browsing for Halloween costumes, we chanced upon this sparkly object.

I think I've been taking fewer pictures because I feel uncomfortable taking pictures all the time around Casey and Saeedah. I mean, they put up with enough of the random things I do already, so waiting for me to take a picture isn't much of a priority. X|

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The haps
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Just in case you were wondering what the haps were, that is.

["Hey guys, what's the haps?"]

Last night I went to the Knitting Factory again with my chums. The bands this time were Hunter Valentine, Des Roar, Black Gold, and Girl in a Coma.

Hunter Valentine: Alright, but nothing special to me.

I think they sound better recorded.

This is not actually related to the band, but I thought it was funny.


Unfortunately they don't sound nearly as good when your body isn't vibrating from the sheer loudness of the music...

Black Gold: Not too shabby. Also the bassist they had was pretty smooth. Oh yeah, he had it going on alright. He had it going on more than Stacy's mom. Too bad he's not a permanent member of the band.

Fairly good here, but much more... vivid... live. More oomph, y'know?

Girl in a Coma: I feel like I would have enjoyed their set more if A) it had not been so long and B) Des Roar/Black Gold had not been so good. In contrast, Girl in a Coma was almost tame.

This was much better live, I think.

And..... I'm supposed to meet Silver today, but we don't have very specific plans, so I should probably... you know... call or something... uhhhh I'll do that later. X|


Alright, met up with Silver. It wasn't that exciting, to be honest. We just walked around a mall and uh... yeah that was pretty much it. She had to go to class at four, so we didn't have a lot of time to hang out or anything. Maybe some other time....

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Some really stupid pictures [2P]
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009
Refer to title for the point of this entry.

Boy, we were all sitting in the classroom, waiting for the teacher to arrive, and this guy comes in with a sign that I guess he pulled off the door.

The signs says the class has been canceled and the test moved to Tuesday.

Everyone in the room cheered (except for me, 'cause I'm a downer like that).



Going back to the ol' electronic loveliness.

A short burst of satisfied bliss within the few minutes of pleasant noise.


I think I was just attempting to write poetry of some sort, but it lapsed more into prose-like musings more elegantly worded than my typical mode of speech.

I'm so sleepyyyyyy...

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What a tool...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
DNY this morning was... well, pretty much the same crap as always, with the exception of a couple things:

-I got my last response paper back, with the comment "[Randy]-- this is one of the best Reactions I have ever read! I am still smiling from laughing out loud! You write very well + organize your thoughts really well! A"
-The teacher kicked Saeedah out of the class for no good reason

Okay, the first one is important because my paper was only a page and a half long. On a previous occasion, Saeedah wrote a paper that was one and three quarters of a page long, and he gave her a B because he said it wasn't long enough. This was suspicious to begin with, but now it's pretty much confirmed that he hates her.

She came in late to class today because she was printing something out I guess, but it's not like she disrupted the class or anything. The guy sitting next to her was sleeping during the movie though, and the teacher kicked BOTH of them out.

Now, I guess he thought she was sleeping too, but she wasn't. He just got up and told them to both leave the classroom and take all of their stuff with them.

I was a bit worried, to say the least. At least he likes me, I guess? Even if he's a complete 'd-bag', as Saeedah likes to say, I can't argue with consistent As...

Let's see.... my Psychology test wasn't a big deal. I guess some people were panicking, but I really didn't care much. Finished first in the class, but that doesn't necessarily mean I did well. We shall see what I scored soon...

Uhhhh after EGS (history) I had lunch with Saeedah, and then sat in her Sociology in Prisons class. It wasn't that boring, really, but I kept wondering if the teacher was going to notice that I wasn't actually supposed to be in there. She did not, for the record.

Also my.......... boyfriend's............... friend from the party was there. We did not speak. Maybe next time. :P

Ehmmmm went shopping with Casey and picked up a few things, including a filter for the water jug my mom sent me. Hopefully it works alright. I also got some special Jones soda (kiwi flavor! :D), more socks (because I am a sock fiend), and a bottle of Fuze (yum yum).

I'm so jealous of the Target here. They have like, an interesting soda section. I love interesting soda sections. D: None of the Targets back home have that....

On the train back I swung around one of the poles for fun. XP


Now I gotta write a paper for Theology and IT'S DUE TOMORROW OH NO except I don't really care, because it's only got to be three pages long and it's easy peasy lemon squeezy type stuff.

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I have to wait half an hour to eat dinner.


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A vague entry... maybe
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I keep turning over certain scenes in my head, trying to preserve the details...

The novelty of the situations...
The feelings, or lack thereof...
How things might have looked from a third person perspective...

In other words, the usual.

[Allowing nonmembers to comment again...]

I must read three chapters of my psychology textbook by tomorrow. Also, there are readings I must finish so that I can write a three page paper for my theology class. I don't expect that to be difficult.

It's not that any of this is hard, it's just that it's tedious, and I continually lack the motivation to do any of it. -Sigh-

All I want to do is eat and sleep. X|


I'm so stupid. Instead of taking a shower or writing my Theology/DNY papers, I'm composing pointless poetry. Blah.

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