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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Passive Aggressive Notes
Thursday, October 29, 2009

This is cute, but at the same time, it's really f***ing creepy.

It's so cute after they clean it off!

Reconsidering things. Looking at them more practically. There are questions I want to ask, but can't.



I start listening to my Theology professor at the worst times... I just began paying attention as he was bouncing around and talking about rubbing oil on people. X|

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Yeah... misleading title [2P]
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
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Continual exposure
Monday, October 26, 2009
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Dance party the second
Sunday, October 25, 2009
'Twas not as good as the first. Saeedah was included this time, though. We were kinda dancing around in her room, and then Casey and her went out and bought a mini strobe light. It made everything ten times better, at the least, but we didn't dance quite as much. My iPod kept switching to not-dance tracks, unfortunately.

Today.... I just went out to mail a letter, and I realized that I didn't have my Stormcard or my phone on me. When I got back, the people at the desk let me go by as long as I promised to bring my card back so they could scan me in.

I went down the hall, as normal, and there were a bunch of people hanging out in it, as normal. (The first floor always has people hanging around in the hall, and I live on the fourth floor so I have to go by them every day)

There was a guy lying down, so I tried to jump over him at first, but then he got up halfway so I ended up tripping and skidding across the floor. D:

He asked if I was okay, but I was too embarrassed to hang around so I quickly walked to the stairs and sort of ran to my room. X|

I didn't want to go back that way, so I took the elevator back down to show the security people my card...


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A pretty piece of verse
Friday, October 23, 2009
To A Poet A Thousand Years Hence

I who am dead a thousand years,
And wrote this sweet, archaic song,
Send you my words for messengers
The way I shall not pass along

I care not if you bridge the seas
Or ride secure the cruel sky,
Or build consummate palaces
Of metal or of masonry.

But have you wine and music still,
And statues and a bright-eyed love,
And foolish thoughts of good and ill,
And prayers to them who sit above?

How shall we conquer? Like a wind
That falls at eve our fancies blow,
And old Maeonides the blind
Said it three thousand years ago.

O friend unseen, unborn, unknown,
Student of our sweet English tongue:
Read out my words at night, alone:
I was a poet, I was young

Since I can never see your face,
And never shake you by the hand,
I send my soul through time and space
To greet you. You will understand.

-- James Elroy Flecker

[I found this on Wondering Minstrels, a neat poetry site I chanced upon today]

The last two stanzas are my favorite part... There's something about the phrase "you will understand" that I like, I think. (One of the reasons I like "To My Wife" by Oscar Wilde so much?)


My package finally came today, but I can't get it because there are no package pickups on the weekend. Joy...


I'm adding some of the poetry I like to my Readings.

---Edit Two---

On the Vanity of Earthy Greatness

The tusks which clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.

The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.

The grizzly bear, whose potent hug,
Was feared by all, is now a rug.

Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf,
And I don't feel so well myself.

-- Arthur Guiterman

---Edit the third---

THIS PICTURE makes me quite happy.

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My mom sent me some pictures [2P]
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
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Letters... [2P]
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
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Oh, domesticity
Monday, October 19, 2009
Phoebe IMed me with some relationship troubles, and we discussed taking it slow and not being too aggressive about starting anything. Then I admitted that I didn't feel like I had a right to give that advice, since, well... if you've read my previous entries you know.

So she said "yeah but at least you guys will last," to which I responded "we don't know that."

I guess we were typing at the same time, because about half a second later I got "don't forget to invite me to your wedding!" from her. X|

This of course led us to the subject of weddings. I want to get married in my early/mid twenties so I can get a headstart on family matters. My parents got married in their early thirties, and even though that promises more financial security, I feel like the age gap between us is pretty noticeable. This is especially evident when it comes to my dad; he rarely has the energy to deal with us... and my mom seems to be going through some sort of mid-life transitional phase? I'm not even sure.

I want to try to do the best I can to make my future home and family comfortable (assuming I have a future home/family, that is). My mom has this habit of foisting chores onto me that she doesn't want to do, and I've always resented her a bit for that. I think that if my kids do chores other than the standard stuff like cleaning up after themselves/neatening their rooms, it ought to be voluntary. That way when they do decide to help out, I'll know I've done a good job raising them. I would rather have them work of their own free will than do things because I force them and then resent me afterwards...

A lot of the time I feel like I need to be the best person I can in the shortest time possible. I guess this could be due in part to the fact that I always get the sense I'm going to die young. For some reason I tend to obsess over this, and if people are going to say "she was such a good person, it's a shame she died so young," I want them to actually mean it and not say it just because that's what you say when someone dies at a "young" age.

Because really, what's the point of lying about someone if they're dead...

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