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Memores acti prudentes futuri

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no surprise, no mystery
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
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Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
What a tool...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
DNY this morning was... well, pretty much the same crap as always, with the exception of a couple things:

-I got my last response paper back, with the comment "[Randy]-- this is one of the best Reactions I have ever read! I am still smiling from laughing out loud! You write very well + organize your thoughts really well! A"
-The teacher kicked Saeedah out of the class for no good reason

Okay, the first one is important because my paper was only a page and a half long. On a previous occasion, Saeedah wrote a paper that was one and three quarters of a page long, and he gave her a B because he said it wasn't long enough. This was suspicious to begin with, but now it's pretty much confirmed that he hates her.

She came in late to class today because she was printing something out I guess, but it's not like she disrupted the class or anything. The guy sitting next to her was sleeping during the movie though, and the teacher kicked BOTH of them out.

Now, I guess he thought she was sleeping too, but she wasn't. He just got up and told them to both leave the classroom and take all of their stuff with them.

I was a bit worried, to say the least. At least he likes me, I guess? Even if he's a complete 'd-bag', as Saeedah likes to say, I can't argue with consistent As...

Let's see.... my Psychology test wasn't a big deal. I guess some people were panicking, but I really didn't care much. Finished first in the class, but that doesn't necessarily mean I did well. We shall see what I scored soon...

Uhhhh after EGS (history) I had lunch with Saeedah, and then sat in her Sociology in Prisons class. It wasn't that boring, really, but I kept wondering if the teacher was going to notice that I wasn't actually supposed to be in there. She did not, for the record.

Also my.......... boyfriend's............... friend from the party was there. We did not speak. Maybe next time. :P

Ehmmmm went shopping with Casey and picked up a few things, including a filter for the water jug my mom sent me. Hopefully it works alright. I also got some special Jones soda (kiwi flavor! :D), more socks (because I am a sock fiend), and a bottle of Fuze (yum yum).

I'm so jealous of the Target here. They have like, an interesting soda section. I love interesting soda sections. D: None of the Targets back home have that....

On the train back I swung around one of the poles for fun. XP


Now I gotta write a paper for Theology and IT'S DUE TOMORROW OH NO except I don't really care, because it's only got to be three pages long and it's easy peasy lemon squeezy type stuff.

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I have to wait half an hour to eat dinner.


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A vague entry... maybe
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I keep turning over certain scenes in my head, trying to preserve the details...

The novelty of the situations...
The feelings, or lack thereof...
How things might have looked from a third person perspective...

In other words, the usual.

[Allowing nonmembers to comment again...]

I must read three chapters of my psychology textbook by tomorrow. Also, there are readings I must finish so that I can write a three page paper for my theology class. I don't expect that to be difficult.

It's not that any of this is hard, it's just that it's tedious, and I continually lack the motivation to do any of it. -Sigh-

All I want to do is eat and sleep. X|


I'm so stupid. Instead of taking a shower or writing my Theology/DNY papers, I'm composing pointless poetry. Blah.

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Object recovered!
Monday, September 28, 2009
This morning I had cashews and a fruit bar for breakfast, because the earliness of my classes does not permit otherwise. D:

I've been using one of the hair ties he gave me to close the bag of cashews. :P

And then in my tired state (I only got four hours of sleep because I was writing a reaction paper for stupid DNY) I put the tie somewhere, and couldn't find it.

BUT, after class, I straightened out my covers and there it was! So yes, much rejoicing.


Speaking of covers, I really need to wash this comforter. I keep sleeping on it in my day clothes because I just come back from class and take naps. Can't imagine that it's exactly squeaky clean.

Also, today's XKCD really speaks to me.


I added Lala to the BtD module. Go check it out, it's pretty awesome.

The webcomics list is continually expanding, too. So y'know, if you're bored, try clicking a few of the links in there... (I'll vouch for the quality of all the ones in there...)

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Everybody dies at the end of my stories
Sunday, September 27, 2009
This has been the case in the past, and I have no intention of discontinuing this time-honored tradition.

When I listen to A Kiss From Your Lips by The Flamingos, I want there to be a scene in a movie with it.

The music would be kind of muffled, and it would sound as if you were hearing it from the other side of a tunnel.

There would be a person, sitting by him or herself on the hood of a hollowed out, robin's egg blue 50s style car, next to a dry cliff somewhere as the last red smear of the sun disappeared behind the dark horizon. They would look distant, perhaps contemplative with a touch of sadness or regret. Overall though, the expression would be one of tired resignation.

He/she would slowly get up, stand for a moment, looking straight ahead at nothing specific, then turn and walk away from the camera into the distance.

As they get farther away, the music increases in volume slightly, until the figure has been engulfed by the darkness. Everything goes black then, but the music carries on.

My imagination ends it there, but as in a dream, there is a sense of knowing. As the person fades away, you know that they won't see the morning.


I feel like my mind stole this from somewhere and remixed and repackaged it...


Oh, I finally wrote a letter. Haven't sent it yet, but I'll do that tomorrow morning... Or maybe tonight? I need to figure out where to put it. :S

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A rather fabulous show
Saturday, September 26, 2009
We attended a show at The Knitting Factory last night. It was, simply put, awesome possum-tastic.

First band: Gnaw [?]

Sounded like: a thousand angry scribbles stabbing my brain

Highlights: Slow motion, unenthusiastic headbanging by lead singer; the BOOM man [just some old asian dude sitting on stage with a Macbook that stood up and started screaming "BOOM!" into a microphone.... truly epic though]

Second band: OVO

Sounded like: Crazy in a can, a trance of insanity, owls screaming while on fire

Highlights: The masked-wrestler looking, tanktop/skirt wearing fat dude playing the drums with astounding agility; the masked singer playing her dreadlocks with a violin bow; our inability to understand anything that was being said

Third band: Subarachnoid Space

Sounded like: Melodic dreams punctured by static with a touch of hypnosis, a carnival of robots being swarmed by bees

Highlights: The fastest drum playing I have ever seen; the front man's hand turning into a blur as he played his guitar; all the band members looking like cult followers because of their white outfits

Fourth band: Child Abuse

Sounded like: Meh disguised as rock with noise crumpled up and thrown all over it

Highlights: Their name; the pauses between songs so that we knew when to clap even though they weren't that good; the... singer's crazy antics; the creepy older guy stalking around who looked like a rapist

It was a good night. :D We were all a bit deaf after the show, but it was fun, so who cares? I especially liked OVO... search 'em up on Youtube if you're curious. Subarachnoid Space was pretty good too, but the noisy pauses between the rhythmic parts were too long and they made me impatient.

We're thinking about going to The Knitting Factory again next week, on Friday.


One thing I definitely do like about here; the public transportation makes it easy to go places. It just doesn't work like that at home. If we want to do something in San Jose, we have to find a ride, whereas here, we can just hop on a bus and a train and go anywhere we want, do anything... (within certain limits, of course)

There's a lot more freedom, and it's pretty great. I can't remember the last time I had so much actually going on in my life...

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Gahhhh stupid wind I hate you sometimes
Friday, September 25, 2009
The wind is blowing my hair into my face in a most unpleasant manner. D:

Let's see.... last night was fun. Umm, had dinner with my friends in the dining hall, then walked back to the dorms and like.... sat. On the floor. Outside my room. I tried reheating the leftovers my mom gave me in the microwave my roommates brought, but it started to smell burnt in the room so I freaked out and stopped it. Relocated the food to a plastic bowl that Saeedah supplied, and then tried again in her microwave.

Meanwhile, we Ousted my room, propped open the door with my chair, and attempted to open the window. We were unable to do so. (That thing is really freakin' hard to open...)

Thankfully the burnt smell left... and I don't think I broke the microwave, since they haven't said anything to me yet. For a bit though, it was scary.

I ate my food, and we continued to sit in the hall. After Saeedah left, Casey and I went into my room and searched up all the gay pride music we could think of on Youtube, and had a blast listening to it and laughing... We also went through the iTunes Essentials and said stuff like "hey, I have this song!" Or "I have all of these songs, and they're on the Gay Pride playlist.... what does that say about me?"

Fun stuff.

Still have not written him yet.... I should really do that. D:


-Talking about sexual experience-
One of us: Yeah it seems like he would've done more
Me: Just looking at him, I feel like he'd have been around the block a few times or something, like he'd have more experience under his belt...
-Short silence-
Casey: Wow
Me: Yeah, wow, that was a good one, gotta remember that one, man, I didn't even notice I said that at first

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Hey, I guess this is actually happening now
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Meeting arranged with Silver for Saturday, October third.

I still need to write a letter to him, too. D:

Why does this seem so harddddddd...


Hey, cool.

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Everywhere a drill drill
Thursday, September 24, 2009
4 AM: A loud buzzing noise permeates our room. The three of us awake, startled but sleepy, and sit trying to understand what it is. Finally my roommates put on their shoes and look outside to see if anyone else knows.

It's the fire alarm. The sound overwhelms everything else, screaming incoherently at us.

Feeling a bit ruffled, I shuffle outside in my pajamas, joining the mob that is flowing outside.

We stand on the wet grass in front of the building, waiting to be told that we can return to our beds. Some people are very upset about their interrupted sleep. Others are taking pictures with their cameras as the firetrucks roll up. I'm just laughing.

Finally they tell us that we can go back inside. Everyone gravitates to the entrance of the hall, pushing past fellow students so as to get back to bed more quickly.

6:30 AM: My alarm goes off. I quiet it with a touch of a button and try to sleep for a brief ten minutes, then sit up in my bed and think, tiredly, about getting dressed.

Eventually I dig some clothes out of my drawers and put them on, then put my bag on and go to class.

9 AM: A few students, myself included, stand outside a classroom, waiting to go inside. A voice crackles over the PA system, telling us that a fire drill is being conducted and to exit the building.



The green sour Jelly Bellys taste gross. It's like they took the coffee jelly beans that nobody wanted and spray painted them green.

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