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Tuesday. 10.30.12 10:00 pm
I've always sort of wanted to be a twin. I have a brother, and right now our ages are close enough that we could ignore the age difference in most regards. Gotta love the little bro.

I was baptized on the same day as another girl in my church. We (the church) like to put lots of emphasis on the day we're baptized, treating it more or less exactly like a second birthday. And that makes us twins! And while it's mostly a joke, it IS sort of neat to share something random like a spirthday (haha it's a mongrel word!) with someone.

We didn't really know each other before we became Christians. For a while after, we only saw each other in passing. But lately we've been interacting more. Tonight she asked me what I was like before I got saved.

(After I bleat at her) "Was your personality before you got baptized similar to what it is now?"


"What changed? Were you religious?"

I won't tell you what the answer was. Clearly I was religious. But can you guess what's changed? I don't think anyone here is going to be able to accurately pin me down like that...most of you only see me in what I write here. A grotesque caricature, as it were. Any changes you see are way out of context.

Sort of a weird thought.

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Getting Older
Sunday. 10.21.12 8:17 pm
The password for my school account is expiring tomorrow. I usually take the time to change all my other passwords when Tech prompts me. I usually base my passwords on important things or recent events in my life, but nothing major (or -




You know how nuTang likes to tell you how many baboons you have at your service? Does that mean anything, or is it a random number? It doesn't seem to correspond to page speeds or anything.

I made a friend a little over a year ago. You may recall that I met her randomly on a camping trip and that we got along quite winningly, despite living in different states and having zero natural points of contact. I actually got to meet her again over the summer in another completely coincidental...church trip, actually. Huh.

ANYWAY. I made some decisions about that friendship, acted on them, and have now completely hamstrung it. It's quite sad for me, actually. She's upset with me to an unknown extent, and there's nothing I can really do or say to make it up to her. I'm wary to probe her much, partially because of the nature of the decisions I made, and partially because I really don't know how she'll take it. Seems like my best option is to leave her be, and see what happens. And that's what I shall do. This has been a learning experience.

In other friendship news, I also happen to have pretty much zero contact with my highschool best friends. Remember when I wrote an emotionally charged letter (writing letters and voluntarily exposing my vulnerabilities: two things I rarely do) in order to patch up a friendship by apologizing for my over-reaction to him going behind my back and dating the girl that I had feelings for? Yeah. We don't talk much. And that makes me sort of bitter, honestly. I went through a lot of crap with this guy, and I went to a lot of trouble to be there for him, and THEN I swallowed my pride and everything so that we could continue to be friends.

For what?

And don't get me wrong, I don't wish that I'd not bothered. Not exactly. I'm glad that I acted how I did. But...it'd be nice if it was reciprocated, right?

It's that way with a lot of my highschool friends. Ironically, one of the only ones I talk to consistently is unicornasaurus. It's ironic because we dated, twice, with violent results. And also because we have very little in common. AND YET HERE WE ARE.

I don't get it. Friends are weird.

On a brighter note, I have gained quite a few friends at Tech in the past year or so. Like...a LOT. I have around 730 friends on Facebook right now, and I estimate that at least a hundred of them are people from my church who are just awesome and super loving for no reason other than Jesus...which is the best reason? Anyway. As upset as I can get about the status of my old friendships, I certainly have no room to complain. Good place to be, yeah?

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It spreads
Tuesday. 10.9.12 1:08 am

Part of my life entails working with my campus ministry to spread the Gospel. This usually entails sharing my faith with random people, participating in open discussions we call Bible Talks, and getting into personal Bible Studies with people. This can turn into a lot of investment of my time and my heart, with not a lot of gain. Lots of people we study with eventually drop out or get stuck with something that they can't deal with. And that's really discouraging.


Recently I've been helping with the studies of this guy named Matt. This weekend, several nearby churches joined us for a retreat at a camp where we just played around, worshiped, heard some sermons, and generally had a good time with each other. We had a few more studies with Matt during that time, and we decided to put this man in the water.

He got baptized.

I helped baptize him.

I'm not just excited because I held part of some dude under water for a few seconds. Although that was pretty cool. I'm excited because I helped him get into Heaven. The studies, the water, the long late-night talks, all of it. I was actually an integral part of God's plan for somebody! While that by itself might not be as rare as I think, it certainly is rare to SEE the fruits of that investment. This is the first person I've helped baptize. Ever.

I'm so elated. I can't even describe it. Just...GAH, this is so cool! It's literally the only reason I'm still on this planet. If the church is like my family, then I'm actually bringing in new brothers. This is a guy that is going to be an integral part of God's plan in someone else's life! Just...AH

I'm done. I'm done! See?

Sorry to all you guys who think I'm spouting nonsense. You probably don't know what to think of me. That's OK. I don't know what to do with me either. Just...even if you've heard me say this before (a lot of you probably have,) please stop for a moment and consider the possibility that the creator of everything inside and outside of the universe went to the trouble of living as a man and dying as a monster so that you could have the choice to be set free of death. That might mean nothing to you. If it's remotely possible, shouldn't it mean everything?

I am not a good writer. Sorry for the repetitive word usage, folks.

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Baptism by Rock
Monday. 9.3.12 11:10 pm
What a long and stupendous day.

I got up with the sun so I could be ready for pickup at seven thirty. The plan was to meet all the campus students from my church and our nearby sister church in a parking lot about half an hour away from campus. Then there'd be driving, tubing down a river, and hiking up near a waterfall! Exciting news, gentlemen and ladies.

The tubing itself was quite a lot of fun. We had about thirty peeps in our group. The bus ride to the drop point was full of very loud singing and clapping. I swan-dove into the pile of inner tubes and got wet bruises for my trouble. Some poor soul immediately flipped their tube before even leaving port. At first, everyone was kind of just floating and swimming around the river, trying to flip each other and get some good fellowship in and stuff. After a while, we started collecting in clumps. There were a lot of rocks to get stuck on, so I made myself useful by "flexing" our little amoeba and moving into the best flows. As our clumps grew, this became more complicated. I spent most of my time face-up on my tube, holding another with each arm and trying to position a third to support my head. Consequently, when we got stuck at one point, I couldn't see the pure catastrophe that was building right behind me (I was floating head-first). I ignored the cries to let go of my neighbors, insisting hold the group together like I had been doing. Suddenly, I felt a strong pull in one direction. "Success!" I thought. We began to quickly move.

We began to quickly leave my tube behind. Before I knew it, I was being dragged backwards over multiple sets of small waterfalls, mostly underwater. I think it was at least four. Eventually I surfaced with several scratches along my back (my shirt mostly protected me), a major cramp in my leg, and one of my Vibrams trying to escape, and a wayward tube following closely behind. One of the girls asked, "Are you OK?!"

"I think I'm dead," was my answer.

After that little fiasco, I relegated myself to the outskirts of the amoeba and spent less time flexing and more time listening to the songs we were singing. There were less rocks, so that was nice.

When we exited the river, some of us stayed in town to go on that hiking trip. The actual trail was pansy stuff. Mostly flat, a few switch-backs, mud and gravel. But the river! There were great rocks for climbing, lots of slippery surfaces to slide around on, and an awesome alcove carved out by a little waterfall. And then it rained, and that little waterfall got pretty swollen, and I PUT IT ON MY BACK. I mean, I crawled up under it, and stood up under its force, and roared!


Anyway, we hiked back in the rain, got in our cars, and skidaddled. I met a few really great and godly kids, had some good talks, wore my body out, ate some nature for breakfast, and just generally had a blast. Whoo!

Man. I'm still hyped up, and I have school in twelve hours. Better jump on that. Night kiddies.

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