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.*. Me and Erika .*.
- A.D.I.A.S. -
Only see, somehow it always seems that I'm learnin' or
something I can never be
It dosen't matter to me, 'cause I will always be that pimp I see
in all my fantasies

I don't know your fucking name.
So what? Let's fuck...

Screaming to be the only way that I can truly be free
from my fucked up real life
so I dream and stroke it harder, 'cause its so fun to see my
face staring back at me
.*. Marcy and Me .*.
.*. Me and Tara .*.
Goes a little something like this....
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Nottin happened 2 day.. pretty much lonely all day. I miss Marcy like hell. I cant wait to see her when she comes back... which is hopefully this weekend. I know shes happy though.. she finally gets to see Stephen. :) Today I got my accounting test back... 97% baby!! lol like you guys care or anything... but im damn proud of myself!! :) The bus ride to school was pretty boring... Zack wasnt on the bus because he was on a trip for vo tech. I actually missed him. So i just sat there and listened to my cd player. Good ole Yellowcard. whew. Well, imma go becuase im just way too bored... its almost 10 anyway. Luv ya'll!!!!

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Im lovin' it
Tuesday. 11.16.04 8:49 pm
Well, hey guys! Got some good news! I finally got a bf.. haha. I atually have a lot of fun when im with Zack.. and ill never forget watching that moonset haha. Hes the best... and he treats me right too. Now, thats something thats a miracle when it comes to me.
Ya know that guy that i talk about in Accounting class? Totally the fuck over it. I think hes a complete asshole for doing what he did.. and i didnt deserve to be treated the way i was. And dude, I dont like you anymore.. so stop telling other girls that you like me. lol thanks Amy.
Well... i handed in my application to kmart the other day... hopefully getting a job there so i can atleast get one pay check before christmas. Id do anything to be able to give my friends and family good presents for once. Id feel pretty damn proud of myself. I have a physical tomorrow at 3.. so it looks like im leaving school early for that. Kinda sucks bc then i wont be able to see zack on the bus that night. But yeah... and i hope to get my permit within a month too... we'll see how much time i have to study. haha
well, this is one hell of a boring entry... but hell what do you expect.
Shout out to my best girl Michelle Greenough! D.Y.C!! ;) love ya toots!

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Bored -n- Lonely
Saturday. 10.23.04 6:34 pm
Well, today was pretty much a laid back day. It was the first day I could sleep in, so I took advantage of that. I was supposed to go with Erica and Travis tonight to Bradley Farms... but I changed my mind. Mostly because I didnt have a "date" sorta thing. But oh well. So now I sit here, bored out of my mind. Mike went to that party thing with Joel.. so I wont be able to talk to him until tomorrow night sometime. Which isnt exactly a bad thing because now I can actually get some sleep and not worry about shit when I wake up in the morning. My family is coming over for a turkey dinner. Its a Sunday thing around here. lol. Anyway, Ryan Aldrich asked me out today... I had to say no. I just want a freaking boyfriend with the same area code as me, yah know? And I dont know... Ryan is just a really good friend of mine. And yes, I know, "your just a friend" has been a lame excuse for years now... and i know how it feels too. But i dont know, things are just too weird right now. I cant seem to get over that kid thats in my accounting class.. though we dont talk anymore, which really sucks.. and i could go on and on and on.. but i wont because ill never shut up. But yeah. things are hard for me these past months. Volleyball is almost over with. Monday and Tuesday are our last 2 games of the season until Districs start. HEY EVERYONE... please go to my game on Tuesday night... home at 6.. its parents night and its gonna be a pretty cool game. :) haha but anyway, Im gonna go...

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Doin Better...
Wednesday. 10.20.04 6:22 pm
listening to: 1985
mood: confused

Well, today has benn much better than the past 2 weeks. With the whole recovering from Mike thing... and being mad at Greg and shit... I just couldnt concentrate on the better things in live. Well, I was on the way to our Volleyball game in Canton, reading one of the best books in the world, I busted out into tears. Just because I was thinking about the bad things in my life. But that didnt last long... because we got to Canton.. and beat their asses!! Yeah yeah, our record for the second half is now 4-1. (yeah, stupid Towanda barly beat us). But when the game was over... i got on the computer for a little while until 10, then I watched Real World. After that, I went upstairs, hoping to finish my book. It was all quiet in my room, until I hear knocking on my window next to my bed. Before that, i was so pissed off at him for doing what he did to me after all these years. But as soon as i looked through his eyes through that window, things all of a sudden changed. I opened my window and he came in... wanting a hug. We sat there on my bed for about an hour... and to my surprise, I had fun last night. I actually laughed with him... havent done that in a while. Although I knew that we wont be back together for a long time, It felt so much better to talk to him about all that shit. We ended up falling asleep together, and by the time I knew it, it was 7:12 am as my alarm clock went off.

Today, I was in such a good mood. Tired at first, but today was a good day. I dont know though.. when i see Greg in the morning... i dont know how to react. Since that day shit happened, he hanst talked to me nor gave me an explanation. It really made me mad... and as of yesterday, I finally got over it. The more you care, the harder you fall... so I just decided to quit caring. But those eyes... wow... lol.

Chem comes along and Erica asks me to go to Bradley Farms with her this weekend with Travis. "Uh oh" I say to myself. I'm not into that stuff... Id serioulsy like piss my pants with freight. lol. But I agreed to go. She said I needed to bring a guy with me... but damn, thats the prob. I have nobody to grab on to when I'm scared shitless. So, it looks like Ericas arm is gonna be all bruised up by the end of the night haha . Shes the best.. so isnt Travis... they so deserve eachother :)!!

Well, I was at my locker.. packing my things to go to Volleyball practice... when Michelle hands me a letter from Greg. I wasnt expecting it, so i wasnt that excited about it. But Im glad he wrote me back... and it wasnt a mean letter either. Just said he was sorry.. and i appreciated it, alot. But I'll shut up about him.. might get me in trouble. I totally respect him......

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Sexy huh?
*Me and Shauntel*
-Everybody Hurts-

When the day is long and the night
The night is yours alone,
When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life
Well hang on
Don’t let yourself go, everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes.
*Erika Amy and Me*
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