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Memores acti prudentes futuri


It may get bad when you're lonely and cold
but say it to me anyway
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.”
~ William Blake
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bobbins
Broodhollow
Bug
Buttersafe
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chainsawsuit
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
DUBBLEBABY
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Mirror

Wilde Life
Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Bullfinch
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Distillum
Dream Life
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
Intragalactic
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Looky here
free counters
How is it March already? [2P]
Friday, March 8, 2019
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Shamanic traditions
Thursday, February 21, 2019
I have some pretty heavy skepticism around New Age type spiritual fad things. If people find personal comfort in that stuff, that's fine, but I'm not into it when they push it on me. My school can be kinda... ehhhh... overly New Age-y as far as I'm concerned. Lots of people talking about their healing crystals and their ayahuasca trips and past lives and stuff. In some cases it seems totally at odds with science, and I dislike that, considering we're supposed to be learning in an academic environment...

This morning in my first class, a guest speaker came to talk to us about medicine wheels and shamanic practices in Native American cultures. I'll admit, I was fully expecting it to be boring and irrelevant to anything I want to do. The guest speaker turned out to be interesting, articulate, and engaging, though. I was very pleasantly surprised.

I'm not really into rituals and stuff, but she explained everything she did in a pretty reasonable way and didn't make it all woowoo spiritual. She was down to earth and talked about how differently we're impacted by physically moving versus just talking about stuff, and about the importance of not confining our attempts to pursue health to the abstract realm of ideas. Overall I thought her points were pretty solid.

We made prayer bundles with colored cloth and sacred tobacco, which was like, not really up my alley but okay, no big deal. Each color represents a direction (East, South, West, North, and the Good Red Road) with an associated power. East is clarity, south is innocence, west is introspection, and north is wisdom. We were supposed to put a small pinch of tobacco in the middle of each square of cloth, think of a prayer to go with that particular color/power, and then tie it up into a little bundle. There's just one long string for all the bundles, so they end up being connected to each other. The speaker told us to put our bundles somewhere we'd see them frequently, and then after the next moon cycle (so 28 days), to bury them in the ground. I'm not exactly sure what this is supposed to accomplish, but I guess I'll do it out of respect for the process.

Still have a healthy amount of skepticism that my "prayers" will be fulfilled, but we'll see. In any case, I feel more amiable towards shamanism than I did before. Not to the point where I think I'd want to incorporate it into my life, necessarily, but I can see how it has benefit for other people and the principles behind it make a lot more sense to me.

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The urge to write [4P]
Saturday, February 16, 2019
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Unexpanded thoughts [DP]
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
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Waiting [4P]
Monday, February 4, 2019
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The relative nature of hard work
Monday, January 28, 2019
"Daphne" by T.hanks.


Wondering again if I have any idea of what it means to work hard. Usually I feel like I don't, and then I feel sort of guilty for not knowing how to do it. I hear about other people devoting hours to studying or practicing or working and I feel kind of embarrassed for... not really ever doing that? Like, I get my stuff done, but I feel like I put a pretty minimal effort in most of the time. When I read for class, I pretty much just read through once and I don't really highlight or make notes or anything. >.> Maybe I've become a worse student...

On the other hand, it doesn't seem like I need to "work hard" to get an A in my classes... I can't tell if that's because grade inflation is rampant, professor standards are low, or I'm just performing at a level that is actually good. If it's the case that my low effort is enough to produce work that's comparable to the people who actually put in hours, then... is this a matter of ability? It feels like uncomfortable territory to explore. People tell me I'm smart, but I don't feel like I'm allowed to wholeheartedly accept that without risking coming off as arrogant.

At the very least, I'm lucky, I guess. Or well, I am in some senses. Lucky that I don't have to put in a lot of effort to get a good grade. Maybe unlucky in the sense that I haven't had to learn how to work hard, and if there comes a time when I need to work hard, I might be royally screwed.

But then on the other side, there's the question of whether I'm just delusional about my level of effort and I'm neurotically pushing myself and underestimating how much work I put in because I've been fed this myth of limitless potential my whole life and have deeply internalized it. When you grow up with people constantly saying "you can do anything!" you might end up believing that you can always try harder, do more. If your potential is unlimited then you can never fulfill it, no matter how hard you work, but it always feels like you could be working harder. Got an A in the class? Okay, that's great, but was it a 100% A or a 93% A? Because there's a difference there. Graduated with honors? Okay, but was it magna cum laude or summa cum laude? Summa cum laude? Yeah, that's all well and fine, but could you have picked a more difficult major? Does it really mean anything if you got high grades in an easy subject?

I realize this all comes off as me refusing to acknowledge my accomplishments, but for me it feels like an endless wondering about what my actual limits are. I know I have done some things that are probably worth recognition, I just don't know what my best looks like. Maybe it doesn't look like other people's best. I have no way of knowing. Most of the time when I feel like something is "hard" it's hard because I managed my time poorly or didn't prepare enough, not because the thing itself is difficult. I think that's a valid distinction...

And I don't mean this to reflect on other people at all. If someone worked hard to accomplish the same thing as me and I didn't work hard at all, it doesn't devalue their accomplishment. It's great that they put in a lot of effort for them, in fact.

Maybe I'm just not proud of the work I'm doing because I feel like I'm just coasting... I dunno, it's hard to say.

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Alright, let's post this thing [2P]
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
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Into the wild, we never learn
Saturday, January 12, 2019
"Ouagadougou" by BC Unidos.

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