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Blind to the gemstone alone

Age. 31
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Asian
Location ,
School. Other
» More info.

September 2021

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So far
Thursday. 2.7.13 4:15 am
I lost a good amount of weight. I'm 122 lbs. I want to be 115 lbs.
Anyways, I think my life is pretty good and set. Everything's going good at my job. Very easygoing, but boring at times. I get tired of people. My co-workers are super nosy. They care too much about other people's personal lives. It's rather annoying. Why can't they just do the work without bothering others? It's my personal business what I want to do and how I want to live. People are so annoying. I'm about to go to sleep. It's 4am. I finally got my own personal laptop. What I always wanted and finally have: a job that involves cooking, a decent salary, my own room, my own laptop, being the boss of the kitchen, the freedom to do whatever I want. It's fabulous. Next: I need to find a good friend who will be my buddy, a sidekick.

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Exercising progress
Friday. 10.26.12 10:26 am
As funny as it may sound, I love exercising now. I feel so much better when I get to exercise daily. Waking up never felt the same again. I'm aiming for an athletic body. Maybe model type because I know that I'm capable. My waist size already reduce so drastically. All my clothes felt lose now. All of my co-workers notice I lost a good amount of weight. I don't have anymore baby fat on my cheeks anymore. The cheekbones that I always wanted forever is almost showing.

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Back in the days
Sunday. 10.21.12 12:08 am
Back in the days, I never cared about beauty. All I did was watch films, listen to music, eat junk foods. I realized that my thinking had changed. I no longer cared for films as much as I used to. I'm more interested in physical activities now. I never wanted to exercise then I realized that I can't be living my life being overweight. Thanks to the people who made fun of me. That motivated me to change so much. I guess I've been called fat for almost my whole life. Those comments hurt, so I changed. I didn't have a good self-esteem because of this mainly. Now I'm eating healthier. I don't miss junk foods at all. Nice weather in Phuket just made me want to go out everyday, enjoy the nice breeze, watch the sunset, feel happier, exercise and wear nice clothes.

I don't really miss the states anymore. Fast food ruined me.

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No more junk foods
Wednesday. 10.17.12 7:54 am
I'm never eating junk food ever again! I stopped eating junk food 3 weeks ago. I already lost 10 pounds by cutting out all of that. So it's pretty simple. I find healthier foods like vegetables and fruits to be more delicious. I was a vegan once in the past, but I needed to be a healthier one. I made vegan desserts and meal in the past, but I was still overweight because I ate sugar. I'm going on a low-cal diet. I guess I needed to give myself more time. It's unrealistic to lose 15 more pounds before November arrives because it's not healthy. So I'm giving myself until March 2013 to lose all of that weight and get in better shape with exercise. Rushing isn't a good thing in the long run.

Lately, I was overdoing my exercise. I was only supposed to run for 3 days a week, but I went on for 7 days a week, which made me feel sick. So I stopped. I'm giving myself some rest, then I'll resume again on Friday.

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Dieting and exercising
Friday. 10.12.12 10:45pam
When I was young, I used to think accomplishing a goal would be the most difficult thing. Right now, accomplishing any goals aren't as difficult as how I pictured it in the past. The key is just to be patient and wait. Enjoy what you do and good things will come later. Patience was always my best trait. When I try to accomplish a goal, I always think about my friends who motivated me. Tomorrow I should run for 30 minutes. I aim higher everyday.

Anyways, self-control is important. Never spoil yourself too much or else you'll regret it when it comes to food. I work around food everyday, and the smell of sugary drinks and desserts are so tempting, but I always think to myself, if I eat it, I'll regret it. In conclusion, I don't take it. Then I feel happy with my decisions.

At this point I know that I will not give up. I gave up all the time in the past. I know that if I give up, then I'll be unhappy with myself for the rest of my life. So I did myself a favor despite what anyone thinks.

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Dieting and exercising
Wednesday. 10.10.12 11:19 am
Dieting and exercising have been going good so far. I started off running for 20 minutes every morning now. It's becoming a habit. After work, which is around 9pm, I did some more different exercises for 20 minutes including crunches, squats, lunges, plank, etc.. I'm getting better at it. I became less tired. All it takes is endurance. I should lose a good amount of weight before next month arrives. The resort will be open, then I'll be ready to work like crazy.

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Equal Ways

So the circle cannot fade
It turns in endless ways
It turns its endless days

So this window offers views
Of endless loves and fears
Of endless moves and stance

We turn in rest and dance
Scoff at our arises and falls
I won't stop wonder
I will never stop wonder

They walk in flowers
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It makes no essence to me
I walk the flowers
I win the nothings
So this circle cannot fail

It turns its endless ways
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Scare the dower
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I won't stop wonder
I won't ever stop wander

We turn in equal days
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We turn in equal ways
So let's live in equal days

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