ever since the operation, life has slowed to almost a complete stop. i'm not really sure what to do with myself during the days, and at night i clamor for some sort of entertainment from netflix, but i believe i've bled that dry. i'm going stir crazy waiting for my doctors appointment in january to figure out when i can have my second operation so i can get back to some kind of routine, some sort of normality. i was suppose to move in with my friends earlier this year but i've been so ill i haven't been able to do much of anything. i feel like so much time has been wasted. i need to get out of my house, and more importantly out of my head.
for you that don't know, 'regular show' is a great 'new' addition to cartoon network, brought to you by the obscure mind of JG Quintel. this show is derived from the insanity below.. it's lengthy but most definitely worth the watch. and if you're not at least 14, i don't recommend watching the following video.
i really don't have words to express how i'm feeling lately. this sorta sums it up.
besides feeling utterly lost, i'm improving physically. it's 3 weeks since my surgery and i'm up and moving around. went to the ocean with some great friends last weekend, but unfortunately it rained all day long. it's okay though, we made the best of it by playing indoor golf and hittin' up the arcades on the boardwalk.. just had to walk (run) around slightly wet (soaked to the bone). and this weekend we're going to the Primus show in Silver Spring MD. I'm so stoked, but a bit disappointed i can't (read: shouldn't) drink.. but with them, i really don't need to drink to have fun.
on another note, it's been 2 months since i stopped smoking. it seems so easy until i witness someone else smoking, especially when friends go outside for a cigarette. i'm hoping that part will get easier as well. especially since it's so incredibly bad for me in the first place having asthma and all, but it's bad for my Crohn's disease, so after having that surgery it'd be a bit counter productive if i lit up now. i've also cut WAY back on my caffeine intake which is proving to be quite a challenge. i drink nothing but soda and tea but have started drinking gatorade quite a lot lately.. especially since they fear i'll get dehydrated with the ileostomy i have.
oh, did i fail to mention that after my surgery i was left with a nice little parting gift? yes, i have an ileostomy. for you who don't know what that is, it's the 'poop sack' some people have attached to their stomachs. you may know it as a 'colostomy' but that's when it deals with your colon. they pulled a piece of my small intestine through my abdomen and so it's called an 'ileostomy' because that's the the part of the intestine they used.. the 'ileum'. so i have this little red sushi lookin' thing protruding from my abdomen that is my new b-hole. it's insanely embarrassing and such a hassle and definitely hasn't helped with my self esteem or the feelings of what i assume to be depression that have fallen on my shoulders over the past year and a half. the best thing about this ileostomy? it's completely temporary and reversible. but i'm a bit nervous about that now. what was to be a 3 month ordeal may be extended because they've found what could be a fistula on my bottom. hurrah! and if that's the case, then they don't want to reconnect things down there because it could cause more infection and may result in more surgeries. and for you who don't know what a fistula is (assuming that's most of you), it's where two separate parts of your intestines (or other organs) connect by a little passageway or 'tunnel' which is filled with infection.
so, say this is part of your intestines:
the "\\" would be the fistula connecting the intestines where they normally wouldn't be connected.
well, the fistula i have connects from my intestine to the surface of my skin on my buttocks (lol, buttocks).
hmm.. what else?
erm.. the visiting nurses have been dismissed, so i'm done with them.
i got a 'new' phone. my friend got an iphone for her birthday so she gave me her old phone, the motorola blaze. and for a 'newer' phone (i believe it's from 08) with touch screen, it lacks all customization. you can't change the menu button layout, there are no themes, no text customization. etc... all the basics that phones come with now-a-days, it lacks.. but hell, it's still better than my old phone.. i just really have to get use to the touch screen because it's quite off kilter. it seems you have to press the bottom of 'buttons' or you'll press the one above it. and if there are smudges on the screen? you'll press '9' and '3' will be entered. /sigh
i really dunno what else to say. i pretty much am just rambling on and venting. i doubt anyone will read this all the way through, but y'know what? that's okay, 'cause i do this for myself, not any of you.. but if you do read this, thank you for being remotely interested. can we be friends? the kind of friends with benefits?
can i borrow your car and 20 dollars?