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Nothing says "I wish I was a secret agent" like a pair of dark aviators.

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I'm Back!

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
For the moment, believe it or not, I have returned. The one, the only, the MoDS.
Music to Wear Aviators To...
If a pair of mirrored aviators could play music, it would sound something like this...
Safety Tips That the Flight Attendants Never Demonstrate
Sunday. 1.21.07 11:23 pm
How many of you have ever gotten stuck on a long flight somewhere? The kind of flight where you wind up burning through all of the reading material provided for you, in addition to that magazine you bought at the airport. How many of you have ever wound up reading those airline safety manuals in the back pocket of the seat in front of you, just for the fun of it?

And how many of you have ever wondered who the hell makes their living by drawing those horribly illustrated directions?

Because I know that I have... and a recent entry by TheZebra into the avatar contest just brought all of those memories back. Or, more specifically, it reminded me of a website I discovered a while back, dedicated to seeking out all of those amusing safety illustrated manuals and exposing them for the poorly drawn abomonations that they really are.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: AirToons...


www.AirToons.com has many more of the same, along with a new line of terrorism-safety-manual parodies. If you've got a free minute, go ahead and take a look down there.

And my personal favorite...

Thank you, that is all.™

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Playstation 3 Lowlights (Not to Be Confused with "Highlights")
Tuesday. 1.23.07 8:53 pm
No time for a full entry today, but I did come across this video (in the featured video column on the left) and wound up laughing for the next hour or so. At first it seems badly cut, and a few of the jokes might only make sense to gamers. But if you sit through it... well, you just have to watch it to understand.

I knew that the PS3 hadn't done well on launch, but I hadn't realized that it was this bad. And I certainly never realized that Japanese history was so... epic?

Thank you, that is all.™

PS: "Attack its weak point for massive damage." - Words to live by.

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I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
Sunday. 1.28.07 7:14 pm
Ladies and gentlemen, I now return from my week of insanity and absence with news of a great leap forward in our battle against the enemies of American culture.

To begin, allow me to say that I can think of few civilian institutions that epitomize my great nation more accurately than Walmart. A monument to true American capitalism, the Walmart supercenter stands tall and proud in its generically-middle-of-nowhere true American neighborhood, offering customers the best products that cheap foreign factory-labor true American industry can offer.

Last summer, while I was working at a summer camp in upstate New York, I went on a staff trip to the local Walmart for rest, relaxation and resupply (you'd be surprised how quickly one can burn through 3 cases of root beer). To this day, I can still recall the feeling of patriotic satisfaction that saturated my heart as I watched our foreign Israeli staff members step into a Walmart for the first time. As they first crossed the threshold of those large automatic doors, and first heard the exuberant "Welcome to Walmart!" salutations of the Walmart greeters, their faces were instantly overcome by glee and laughter (at us, not with us). They even took souvenir photos.

And so, it is my great honor to share with you all some great news which has recently come to my attention. My great national mascot is about to expand the scope of its business beyond the scanty limits of food, electronics, music, entertainment, hair-styling and fast-food-franchising. That's right, Walmart has announced plans to develop its own brand of wine, to be sold at $2 to $5 per bottle.

Ladies and gentlemen, our American cup truly does runeth over.

Thank you, that is all.™

PS: As much as I wish that I had thought of the title "I can't believe its not vinegar!" I'm afraid that credit for that little gem of hilarity goes to this site.

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