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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Police Report
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Herbs.... Ok drone on.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I was actually depressed since my last entry because my irritated hand downloaded the latest chapter of Naruto which was not released by my favourite scanlator. And so I was depressed after reading some details about the killing. But I won't expand on it because this entry has got nothing to do with Naruto spoiler. I think it's high time to make one. So you guys have been warned, ya. Oh Bleach latest chapter is quite interesting because at last [AT LAST!!] we have a former bad gal. Bwhaha. Read it if you want to know what I mean.

Another thing I was depressed because I feel like gayut-ing (swinging in Malay) on trees like a monkey. Could be I read too much article on monkeys trade in the Star newspaper today and also too much of Naruto manga which made me feel like "Yay, I want to be a Ninja" because I simply want to hang myself upside down on a tree. And there is a school in Japan that gives me Ninja lessons? Holycow. Don't worry about that sentence. I'm just simply in a phase of researching too many articles on death, so it might influence my head for some time. And I have not been using the word 'cincang' (slicing in Malay) for quite some time. Grew out of it? Maybe. Time to get another cooler vocabulary? YES!

Because I'm not a fighter that could not even slice a jambu (a kind of fruit) properly last night. It's easy to recognize that specialization in roles exist. People even create robots for specific purpose so why not humans. As I said I'm not a fighter or a cry baby, I decided to pump up my knowledge in other areas like invention and other interesting areas.

As I was doing so, I searched on herbal remedies. It's an interesting topic but it's pretty weird because the webmistress or the authors or I read somewhere before said that herbs are cheap. Oh yea right. How can they be cheap if some parts of the world like Malaysia has no access to fresh lavender or echinacea to make our own herbal solution? Oh I forgot. We could get them in dried or capsule form but doesn't that defeat the purpose of 'make your own remedy'?

So now I'm thinking to myself what's the point of knowing if I can't even play with these herbs from my backyard? Oh well the same goes to Chinese herbs. Chinese herbs are even worse. Mix the wrong herbs, you end up having food poisoning like my sister and my cousin's maids a few years ago. What did they do? My sister, smartalek, mixed don't know what herbs together as soup. It tasted good but later food poisoning until the chinese doctor warned her not to simply mix herbs again. The maids? Haha. My sister made some Chinese drink which they find it too sweet which is natural sweetness so they mixed with water. And haha they got food poisoning. Cool huh? Did I give you some idea to murder someone without revealing your murder motive? If I did, don't forget to CREDIT me, not POINTING me as the master mind. Hello... I don't even know the dead victim... why should I poison it (yea it because he's/she's dead?)

Again. I'm not suppose to be bla bla about them. I'm supposed to share some interesting facts and provide general knowledge about herbs:

1. Ginkgo for Erection and Libido Problems

Ginkgo improves blood flow into the genitals. In a study published in the Journal of Urology, 60 men with erection problems caused by narrowed arteries and impaired blood flow to the penis were given ginkgo (60 mg a day); after six months, half had regained erection ability. When researchers at the University of Hawaii and Stanford University tested ArginMax, a sexual-enhancement supplement that contains ginkgo, ginseng and L-arginine, 80 percent of the male subjects had improved erection function, while 74 percent of the female subjects reported more libido, less dryness and greater frequency of orgasm.

2. Ginkgo for Anti-Depressant-Induced Sex Problems

An enormous number of Americans take antidepressants, The relief comes at a price: a substantial risk of libido loss erection impairment, vaginal dryness and inability to reach orgasm. Investigators at the University of California at San Francisco gave ginkgo (209 mg a day) to 63 people suffering from antidepressant-induced sex problems. The herb helped 91 percent of the women and 76 percent of the men to return to normal sexual function

3. Ginseng for Erectile Dysfunction

According to a review of studies at Yale University, ginseng boosts the body's synthesis of nitric oxide. As NO increases, so does the likelihood of erection. In a report in the Journal of Urology, Korean researchers gave 45 men with erection impairment a placebo or ginseng (900 mg three times a day). Those taking the herb experienced significant erection improvement.

4. Ginseng for Low Sperm Count

At the University of Rome, Italy, researchers gave ginseng (4 grams a day) to 30 men suffering from low sperm counts. Three months later, the subjects' counts almost doubled, from an average of 15 million/ml to 29 million/ml.

5. Ginger for Motion Sickness

In ancient China, sailors chewed ginger root to prevent motion sickness and modern studies have confirmed that ginger prevents nausea and vomiting. Danish scientists at Svendborg Hospital observed 80 naval cadets in heavy seas and found that those who took ginger experienced 72 percent less seasickness than a placebo group. Take a 1-gram capsule of powdered ginger root about an hour before you embark, and another every two hours or as needed (without exceeding 10 grams a day) during a journey, Ginger's only side effect is occasional minor heartburn. "t use ginger myself." Duke says, "It works for me."

So I'm sure people would be clear now of why some coffee has Ginseng and how does it help. I'm now very clear because I just thought companies include Ginseng just for the taste and it's revitalising energy ...

Hopefully this entry is interesting and beneficial to you all.

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Daddy Long Legs anime
Sunday. 9.9.07 1 am
This is extremely absurd yet unbelievable: I have finally finished Daddy Long Legs anime after 1.5 years of hiatus. I started watching this anime somewhere in 2004/5 but somehow this anime got neglected by me since I was actually watching more than 8 anime in one go. And another reason is this anime is hard to get especially with English sub.

It is such a relief to finish anime alas. 1.5 years of hiatus and stuck at episode 17 and now I’m so glad to watch episode 40, the last episode, on 9/9/07 at 12.30 am. I’m so happy that I feel like crying. It’s like I’m seeing my graduating from watching this anime; in other words I have finally released myself from an anime that’s on my hiatus list. I have aplenty if you see my list.

I’m also happy to finish this anime because I really like how everything crumbles together. Judy Abbott, an orphan, who was fortunate to be chosen to study in a prestigious school in New York with the support of a secret guardian, finally married the guy that she loves. The guy she loves is no other than her secret guardian who has never revealed his identity when Judy got to know him through his niece, Julia Pendleton, who is one of Judy’s best friends.

Judy, a cheerful and an optimistic person, captured the heart of Jervis Pendleton and fell in love with her character and personality. Judy loves him as well but since she didn’t know Jervis is her guardian, she is always afraid to reveal her background to him since it might bring his family shame for they belong to the elite society. But in Jervis eyes, Judy is just a normal girl and he loves her no matter what her background is. On the other hand, Judy always thought that leaving his side is the best thing to do since he IS from the elite society and Julia’s mum had reminded her of her social status.

Jervis knew something was wrong but Judy refused to tell him what she was told by Julia’s mum at a party. With an excruciating pain stake at her heart, she decided to let Jervis go. She explained explicitly to Jervis that she had never loved him on the day she was proposed just to release him from their sufferings, so she thought.

Because of heartbroken, Jervis went on a short break to amend his heart but ended up getting sick. It was reported that he had 50/50 chance of survival and Judy felt guilty when she learned he had collapsed. On her graduation day, Judy was chosen as the valedictorian and she almost forgot about it! During her speech, she finally feels it is the right time to reveal her social status and the audience was aghast by the truth, for she has proven herself no matter where she comes from she is able to graduate with flying colours.

Coincidentally, Judy’s guardian was absent on her graduation and he had collapsed from sickness. Jervis’s secretary drove Judy to her guardian house immediately after graduation fearing Jervis won’t be able to see her for the last time. Her heart was broken for she thought she had to forego the chance of seeing Jervis. And she was surprised to know the truth when she was at his bedside.

Jervis managed to recover from his critical pneumonia and they got married. Everyone else has a happy ending as well: Julia and Jimmie got engaged and Sallie leading her own life with her love life on hiatus.

This anime, in short, is simply wonderful for any one who wants a happy ending. All emotions are captured and they move your heart. You might reach out for a box of tissue when you watch the climax and ending. Although there are 40 episodes in this anime, each episode keeps on making me to watch the next episode, next and next without any boredom or impatience.

I would definitely watch this anime again in the far future. And I would gladly recommend you to watch this anime too, if only you have high tolerance for shoujo romance plot with a never-ending fun adventure with Judy Abbott, and don’t mind sneezing while watching them.

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You learnt what??!!
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Mum was driving Son home from school today. He looked extremely happy that perked the curiosity of Mum during the journey home.

Mum: Well Son you look happy today. Anything interesting in school today?

Son: Yes mum. Mr. Wong taught us something very interesting.

Mum: Glad to hear that. Y' know many kids nowadays don't seem to be interested in studies anymore... kids nowadays are really glued to tv or PS2. So sad .... and they are so unhealthy ... So what did you learn?

Son: Mr. Wong taught us classic literature today...

Mum: Impressive...

Son: Yea. We thought it's going to be boring, y' know reading literature texts those kind of stuff...

Mum: Literature ... you guys read literature???

Son: Yea mum. We are now reading The Symposium by Plato.

Mum: Wow... Plato huh? So what's about him?

Son: Plato didn't write that book. He just compiled whatever his teacher had conversed. And the conversation his teacher, Socrates, had was about love. You know mum ... you always tell me that love cannot be solely relied on materialism. If it is, then that's not really love something like that? Yea this book has it all.

Mum: Love is a very deep subject. Do you really understand that subject by just reading it?

Son: Yup! Of course I have to reread every part. And do you want me to read this interesting part to you??

Mum: Sure.

Son: [ahem]... Zeus moved the genitals round to the front and in this way made them reproduce in each other, by means of the male acting inside the female. The aim of this was that, if a man met woman and entwined himself with her, they would reproduce and the human race would be continued. Also, if males came together, they would at least have the satisfaction of sexual intercourse, and then relax ...


Mum's both hands clasped on her cheek.


Mum: OMG!! You study that in school??!!! You learn SEX in school??! What the *beep* teachers nowadays teaching you guys? No wonder kids nowadays are engaged in sexual activities... This is unheard during my time! No wonder there's rape cases!! So you everyday download anime and PORN pictures!!!

Son: But mum.. I'm 15 already! I know what is SEX. If not, how on earth I'm here talking to you!!!!

Mum: There's no way you kids learn SEX in school! The more you kids learn this kind of stuff in school, the more ham sap [hentai/ sexually arouse/ sex maniac?] you kids be. Choi Choi! (Touchwood) You kids so young where can learn this kind of things!! Choi Choi! The worse thing is Choi Choi .. what kind of dirty literature that want to touch about homosexual!! Choi Choi! And homosexual sex ...

Son: What is wrong with SEX!!! My SEX is male and your SEX is female!

Mum: Don't you dare to smart mouth with me! This is the first and the last time I'm going to tell you.. Don't you talk about dirty things with me or your dad ever again! You hear me?! If not, I would give you one tight slap.

Son: [head down with teary eyes] Yes mum.

Mum: Sex is a subject that's not spoken in our society. It's a very shameful subject. So you must not bring up this subject again. Understood?

Son: Yes mum.

-The End-

This is actually just a make up scenario of a typical conversation within an Asian family. Of course not all Asian families are like that but this is based on experience and some conversations I had with friends about this topic.

Sex is considered as a taboo in some Asian societies. It's like a subject that has to be hidden in the blanket. It must not surface - no matter what. It's pretty funny. Some people said the more it is hidden the more the need for sexual needs increase. And if porn magazines and the like are freely accessible, there will be a decreased of rape cases. Oh well I have entered a kinky shop before... bwhahaha just oly the entrance.

But my main point is yes... based on the Symposium the guys during Greek era is err... gay???

Have fun people!

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Do you know where's my BRAIN, sir?
Sunday. 9.2.07 8:50 pm
I had a rather interesting morning. Not because I was playing Last Chaos at 7.50 in the morning but a conversation I had that made me speechless.

I was talking to one of my friends I made from an anime clan about online games. I was lamenting that online games seem to be nothing more than killing monsters and more monsters every level I got higher. I'm now already feeling bored with Last Chaos because all I do is kill monsters, get items, sell items and get killed.

So I was telling him that these kind of games are no going to help me to prevent brain dead [brain cells from dying]. He replied something but I don't remember. I only remember the bits that really gave me heart attack. We kept on talking until I remembered asking him "you know what's 'brain cells dying'? He then replied reading can prevent brain dead too because its a form of exercise. Yes it's true but I said doing calculation is much better. It works your brain much better in away of reading - my opinion. In fact, the Alzheimer organization in the US suggested to read out loud. Ok then, I said doing calculation and the like will prevent diseases like Alzheimer and Dementia. And then I think he got irritated and replied ... How can calculating something prevent a body disease or something like that. And he went on saying Alzheimer and Dementia are two kinds of diseases and they got nothing to with doing reading and calculating.

I got really angry not because of the facts but the way he was replying. I then asked "So eating and sleeping is good for the brain?". He said "Yes it is". But in this question I was referring to if eating and sleeping ONLY... so I made a statement "So I assumed eating and sleeping and not doing anything else is good for the brain?". He said "I didn't say that."

He added that if the person who only does those two will be fat. He even asked me how would I know that if Alzheimer and Dementia got anything to do with brain exercises? I simply said "I got one at home that does that". I don't see the point of saying "I read medical articles and my sister is working in a pharmaceutical line. If she doesn't know, she could ask a neurologist who is her client". I would answer that if I wanted to be sarcastic.

He further added that our brains need food and sleep. Very true. I added "Yea not enough of sleep could even cause heart attack!". He fired me by replying the body disease got nothing to do with brain. Right. I was speechless.

He further added the most disgusting statement "I just know how things work." End story. I gave in and just said "Yes, it is. You are right". Ended conversation.

I was not furious but pity that how can someone to be that ignorant. Ignorant is one thing but being arrogant that you know something is another thing. These two ignorants are totally different. Without further ado, I went to do a search on this issue.

I discovered that the activities to prevent us from getting Alzheimer, Dementia and the like are referred as Brain Aerobics or something like that. And yes, damn it, we have to do something like calculation, exercises, jogging, etc to prevent from getting the mentioned brain illness [read here].

So I finally got to rest my case in peace!

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Merdeka, Merdeka, Merdeka!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Tunku Abdul Rahman shouted "Merdeka" seven times to the expectant crowd in Merdeka Stadium on 31 August 1957. It was 50 years ago...

Today, 31 August 2007, is the 50th year of Independence for Malaysia. It is an achievement we Malaysians are strongly proud. I'm sure this is a pride our older cohorts would proudly exhibit. I may have been born 28 years after Merdeka and may not capture the true meaning and significance of Merdeka/ Independence our fore Fathers of Malaysia - past prime ministers - struggle in obtaining Independence but I'm proudly to say I'm proud to be a Malaysian.

Why not? The simple truth is Independence is not something can be easily obtained. It is a strong determination and courage to even dream of it during the colonization days where weapons, vested interests and power speak louder than words. If a scholar make an outcry to the public of uniting to achieve independence because it is our land, water and air that the colonizer is extracting not the indegenes, the colonizer will arrest the scholar under the charge of corrupting the population and categorized he/ she as dissident or globalization term, terrorist. In short, those are the days filled with challenges where the sky is only the limit.

And our founding father, Tunku Abdul Rahman, did it. How proud I am to be in a country that is independent and peaceful.

As I said earlier, I may just one of the younger generations that just join the bullock cart of shouting "Merdeka" and "Malaysiaku Gemilang" in front of the television but I really meant it. In my heart, I followed the shouts and sang along the songs because it is my only way to show appreciation and gratitude to the past ministers for making Malaysia a country I'm proud of and what's more for shaping me mentally, physically and spiritually. Without the environment they have designed, I won't be what I am now. I'm grateful for the environment I grew up for finally discovering what my dream and talents. For this, I'm thankful and thank you.

I do not comprehend the meaning of 'war' because there is never a war in Malaysia since her Independence. Talking to me about the experience of war is like talking mumbo jumbo to me because I cannot simply understand!! It doesn't exist in my dictionary! This is possible because Malaysia is in peace with all ethnics living under one roof. We share, care and tolerate with each other because we acknolwedge each other's differences and they are created by nature. The reason we are all different because we can learn something very important from each other with these distinct features - simply to learn how to accept one's differences no matter what.

I am Chinese by ethnic but I'm a Malaysian inside out. It makes me no different than my other ethnic counterparts, be it Malay or Indian, because we are all Malaysians. I do not see any differences in us all that some sees disapprovingly because I don't see any differences at all in features. They too have a face (ugly or beautiful), eyes (beady or doe), nose (straight or crooked), mouth (small or big) and so on. So what makes us all so different that some of us spit "We are superior than you"? A Quality Checker Institute of Skin Colour? And set up by ...?

I am proud to say my friends are all from all races in Malaysia and I treat them all equally without discrimination and prejudice. And the environment I grew in never once taught me to differentiate people by ethnicity but by personality quality.

There are times I'm unhappy with my life because of the designed environment that is supposed to be for my own good. Instead, I believe actions are much louder than words or simply "lost in translation". No one environment is perfect for every individual in a population but that it is up to the individual to make a change, as Gandhi says "make the change you wish to see." Looking back at world history I learn and current worldnews, I am fortunate to be in an environment that has no inter/ intra-racial conflicts that ignite violence outbreaks, although I cannot deny that this could happen to my lovely ambience. But I know what we Malaysians want. We simply want peace. But somewhere deep inside my heart has legitimate concern over this matter.

No matter what happens, I would bravely step forward to restore the environment- whatever it takes - because I don't want to see "Merdeka" to be erased from my younger generations' history books. If not, why did we shout "Merdeka" together with Tunku Abdul Rahman? As I said earlier, I do not understand "war" but it doesn't mean I cannot imagine the horror of war, and by imagining it doesn't mean I have given birth to empathy. Fear and anger will only strike my heart. By looking at those horrific war pictures, I have to remind myself countlessly that I'm living in a country that experience and witness no such horror and must not. I'm simply grateful for that and many young people should not and must not forget this goodness we are endowed even though discovering weaknesses is our main past time.

There is always goodness in a non-perfect living environment and this must be treasured alway no matter what.

Let's join Tunku Abdul Rahman's shout for "Merdeka" seven times before this special day pass like any other days wholeheartedly, and before we forget the goodness we are given without demanding for repayment ...

Let's not think of anything but the imbuement of feelings of being free ....

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

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