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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
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Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
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Another pondering
Saturday, June 26, 2010
[Note: Did you know that "ponderance" actually means gravity? I did not]

How do the spouses of geniuses deal with the gap in intelligence? I imagine it must be difficult.

Also, I am not supposed to be awake right now. Whoops. :P

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Somewhat materialistic wishes [2P]
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Exclamation marks
Monday, June 21, 2010
Went to read some of my old posts again. I was much more liberal in my usage of exclamation marks, I've noticed.

What else? I've become more serious. Don't know when that happened, exactly. There was a point where I decided to change my life and mode of thought, but as time went on everything drifted and I stopped caring so much and trying to be different than before.

I lost the reason.

There is a little bit of delight in finding something that completely applies to you, but it quickly dissolves into despair when you realize what that means.

I am caught between wanting to be unique (which is a silly goal in itself but one must have something to strive for) and wanting to be able to be related to.

Here again is the battle between my views that will always and can only end in silence and supposed neutrality.

I feel a million different ways at once and hence nothing at all. They cancel each other out and to favor one side would be to trivialize the other's validity. I'm caught in a seemingly eternal loop of wishy-washiness.

I'm tired of seeing these ads made for people who are too lazy to do simple things like buy laundry detergent and dryer sheets separately, but at the same time I know I'm probably just like them.

Won't I buy something to save time when I don't do anything with the time I already have?

Time, there's a thought.

Buy a microwave so you don't have to use the stove.
Buy a dishwasher so you don't have to wash by hand.
Buy a vacuum cleaner so you don't have to sweep.
Buy a TV so you don't have to read.

What will you do with the time you've saved? Do something productive. Why don't you work a few extra hours to pay off all your timesaving devices? Cut back on a little sleep... sleep is a timewaster anyway. Nothing productive gets done when you're lying in bed. You might as well be dead or a rock. Not even a useful kind of rock, but the kind nobody really wants, like the lumpy ones you dig up when you're gardening.

I dislike a lot of things. Love is reserved for special occasions.

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I did this mostly all day
Friday, June 18, 2010
Well, after pancakes with Lucy and Varsha.

I have... twelve more videos or something. XP

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What... who... what?
Thursday, June 17, 2010
[random stranger] has entered the room.
[Angie]: varsha?
[random stranger]: Who me?
[Me]: new SN?
[Lucy]: hey varsha?
[random stranger]: I'm just a random.....but lets gossip about ZSuttonPhoto. Yes?
[Angie]: um...
[Angie]: who let you in?
[random stranger]: ahaha
[Lucy]: i'm confused
[Me]: wtf
[Angie]: well you did pick a common room name
[Me]: I didn't realize other people could invite themselves to chatrooms?
[Lucy]: nice to meet you new person
[random stranger]: Pancakes is probably the most common room name ever
[Me]: we were actually talking about pancakes
[random stranger]: Ello [Lucy]a
[Lucy]: hello
[random stranger]: Oh snap. Whats everyones fav type of pancake?
[random stranger]: Catch me up to speed
[random stranger]: I have alot to offer
[Angie]: well we did stop talking about pancakes..
[Angie]: but i like banana
[Me]: uh...
[random stranger]: I'm a fan of Blueberry, call it old school, but whatever
[Me]: I don't have a preference...
[Lucy]: butter and jam's good
[Me]: um, but anyway
[Me]: cherry picking
[Angie]: right
[Me]: did you guys want to go?
[Lucy]: sure!
[Me]: I was looking at a list of places
[random stranger]: No, seriously though, a couple hours ago, a few photography friends of mine started a chatroom with the title being 'pancakes', they obviously have since left. I am just late to the party
[Angie]: ah
[Angie]: that's funny
[random stranger]: I'll let you be, take care everyone
[Lucy]: bye!
[Me]: alright... bye
[random stranger] has left the room.
[Me]: that was f*****g weird

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Remember that other entry about squirrels?
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Well, I got a video of some squirrel haps.

(I trimmed it down quite a bit... my Flip was recording for awhile before the squirrel decided to show up)

We're thinking of new obstacles for the squirrel. Any suggestions?

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It Would Be Nice [DP]
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I swear this tastes better than it looks
Friday, June 11, 2010
I made dinner tonight (again). Pesto salmon with Israeli couscous and Caesar salad...

The salad isn't pictured because I'm pretty sure everyone already knows what that looks like.

It actually looks like someone threw up on it, doesn't it? XP It tastes awesome though, I promise.

I saw the Tillamook Loaf Love Tour bus today, but didn't take any pictures, sorry. It's a really cute little VW van, and they gave us a $1 off coupon for cheese. :D

Yesterday I went to visit my favorite high school teacher. He actually recognized me, which made me happy. I was worried he'd say something like "oh hi Erica!" (It's ONLY happened TWO or THREE times before...)

But no, he remembered me. Unfortunately he was busy, so we didn't get to chat much, but it was nice to see him. He had a sort of a buzzcut, and I was afraid to ask about it in case he said something like "oh I have cancer and I had to go through chemotherapy"...

Last night/this morning I hung out with Alice. My mom dropped me off at her house around midnight and we walked around and talked a bit. I stayed until a little after four. New record!

We're kind of worried she'll grow dependent on me. I mean, I'd like to believe that won't happen, but it kind of already is... at least she's got a psychiatrist to talk to as well.

My parents bought a big bag of peanuts, so we've been throwing them outside for the squirrels. Sometimes we hide them under pots and the like to see if they can get them. So far all the peanuts seem to have been found. Fun fun.

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