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Memores acti prudentes futuri

Shown to the place you fold
there's nothing to be without it
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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More Fun Shtuff
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Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
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Curia Regis
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dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
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Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
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Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
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Legend of Bill
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Love Me Nice
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Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
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Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
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Daisy is Dead
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A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
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Meat and Plastic
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Ugly Girl
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Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
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Clients from Hell
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Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
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Damnit, does no place remain untouched?!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Man, I have scars on my back, too. THIS IS WHY I AM NOT GOING TO USE SHAMPOO ANYMORE. Damn sodium laurel/laureth sulfate. Blehhhhhhhhhh.

(To clarify, I'm not ceasing to wash my hair, I'm just using baking soda now. If you ever have acne problems near your hair/on your back it's probably because of your shampoo, unless you just have acne everywhere, in which case... I'm sorry, that sucks.)

More info here!


Kinda too late though, since I have scars. :/ -Sigh-


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How to win my eternal love...
Monday, April 5, 2010
Me: i should become a gold digger so i can buy this really expensive book i want :P
Dude: what book is it you want?
Me: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0786709405/freecomputersoft/
Me: although the author says he might republish it
Me: so perhaps i won't have to whore myself out
Dude: if you marry me i'll buy you one
Me: haha
Me: man, doesn't anything i do deter you?
Dude: well i figure marrying you cant be much worse than this, since you'd still live far away
Dude: but i'd get more than $600 in FAFSA for school
Dude: so it would be a good investment

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Y'know, I've just realized
Sunday, April 4, 2010
A lot of my scary dreams involve liquid of some sort. I wonder why that is?

-The dream with the dead people crowded around a rusty metal stool with three glass jars filled with blue liquid (liquid made of people)
-Dream where the giant turtle was going to eat me (there was a pool)
-Dream where the whole world was flooding (this one is obvious)
-DC being lowered into the deep sea
-This recent one with the meat-liquid

Maybe I have some strange subconscious fear of liquids or something.

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So today
Sunday, April 4, 2010
I woke up, took a shower, then put my pajamas back on and got into bed again.

It's just one of those days.

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Saturday, April 3, 2010
I have two other blogs, but this is the only one people read.

One of them is for my abstract thoughts, and when I am feeling too poetic to make proper sense.

The other is speckled with things that would probably make you want to just die.


I walked around the city today, but I was by myself so it was lonely and not very much fun.

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Still getting used to this
Saturday, April 3, 2010
So please excuse any lameness that may occur whenever I use my Flip cam.

Also, I spilled my Trix on the floor on Wednesday morning. :( And then took a dramatic picture of it.

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Assorted dreamlets
Friday, April 2, 2010
There was an ape monster and a fish monster but they were on display, I think.

Then in a high school cafeteria, a big fancy one with two stories and big windows, a boy was showing off suits.

"THE FINEST SUIT YOU WILL EVER WEAR," he confidently proclaimed.

Did it come with gloves, we wondered? Yes, it did.

He gave a blue ball to a fat boy and his hands became coated with a blue substance. Those were the gloves, of course.

I got a ball too, and swirled it around my palms. It missed the nails, so I had to rub it there. Then men came in suits and took us all away.

It was the government, and the suits and gloves were dangerous and they were going to keep us all top secret. We had run away I suppose, to be free, but now they were putting us back into our cubicles to work and be obedient. My name was Cindy something. I couldn't find my cubicle at first because the name labels on them were not arranged completely alphabetically. When I did sit down they gathered around me and placed a large tray of corn beef hash in front of me, demanding I eat it. I refused, shakily.

When they saw I would not do it of my own accord one of the men, who was mostly bald but for some white hair with ran around his head, and who wore glasses, took a spoon and scooped up some liquid from the tray and began to force feed me. One of my coworkers cried out that I was vegetarian and he ought not to do that, but he kept on doing it. I began to cry as they shoved more down my throat, and then I could see all the animals they were killing so they could force feed me meat.

Cows and then chickens and then zebras, and one of them was a unicorn zebra. I could see them being shot as I cried.

I guess it was kind of a torture, to get me to talk, but I didn't have anything to say.

The rest is too vague to describe.

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Good question
Friday, April 2, 2010
I had a dream, and I knew I was happy in it. It was a bubbly, innocent happiness.

It was the feeling of being content with existence on a sunny summer day, surrounded by friends and naive excitement.

Happiness, because I knew something, and that something was important and wonderful to me.

When I awoke the dream was hidden briefly from me, but slowly it edged back into my mind.

I never know when I'm happy in the waking world, if I am in fact ever happy. The absence of depression leaves me feeling.... clear. I don't know how to describe it well.

Sometimes I don't know if I prefer the happy dreams or the nightmares. The former I am dismayed to realize the insubstantial nature of, the latter less so.

How do I feel, then?

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