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Speak to My Finger
Meowing WAR





Books
Books I have completed reading since January 2018:

1. No Man's Nightingale - Ruth Rendell
2. One Day - David Nicholls
3. The Door - Margaret Atwood
Missing jigsaw puzzle pieces
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
I think this month would be a good month for me. I got bonus and increment. It's very unexpected especially the increment part. My manager was telling me "it's not much" but my jaw dropped because I have only worked for more than one year and I feel I don't deserve the increment because it's a lot. Friends and family members who know my work nature will know why I said so. Sorry I can't disclose here. I have been thinking what am I going to do with the extra money. Part of my brain was pretty excited to spend more because I got more. And the angel side was telling me to retain my amount of spending to the minimum because I need to save for retirement. So I decided to open another bank account. And there goes another hole in my head because I'm damn lazy to transfer cash here and there physically. I have online banking but I think there's bank charges and i don't want to pay them every month.

I passed my Unit Trust exam last Saturday. And I can't wait to get my license. Before the exam, my brain was scattered with a list of things to do. And now the after effect... haha I have forgotten. Actually just doing executing them in a slower manner.

I think I'm going to see doctor again to inspect my swelling thyroid. Pretty worried about the part where I find it hard to swallow things. I need to drink liquid often to ease the swallowing part.

I finally got to see my friend's wedding photos. I could feel tears on the edge on my eyes because I was so emotional. Imagine... I used to study with her and her boyfriend and now they are finally married. Another friend of mine also just got married last year. I'm so happy for them though it's surprising to see them getting married! Oh... no names will be given here.

I just chat with a mangaka and that was the longest conversation we ever had. Every time she's online I never got the chance to chat with her other than saying hello. I'm so happy!!!! And I can't wait to get her latest manga volume!! It's the last volume!!! OMG... it's one of the best manga I've ever read!!!!

I finally going to finish a story. It's a sad story. The story line is quite common but I'm quite happy with the flow and the ending. There's a lesson in the story too.

Based on previous entry, I think I'm going to draw a comic out of it. I'm not too sure if you guys going to understand it. But let me draw first!

I finally got to list out all the jigsaw pieces. And these are all connected together in my brain...

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Development gazetted
Monday, January 7, 2008
I just shook my head in the office not because of ectasy pill but a natural pill of humour. I was reading the newspaper and that was not the first time I came across that kind of news. Imagine a gazetted forest reserve is going to be converted into a development area? Then why gazette that place in the first place? I mean if you haven't really reserve that place altruistically, then don't even named it FOREST RESERVE. It should just be named as Development Reserve. I'm not mocking but the word Forest Reserve seem to confuse people with 'why forest reserve is a reserve for development not a permanent home for flora and fauna?'

I just shook my head even after I got home but this time it was because I was cold.

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Strange friendliness
Sunday, January 6, 2008
A friend of mine doesn't seem to understand my language. I told him to stop introducing me to his friends and yet he'a still doing it. I know it's rude to tell him off to stop when it's just an initiative of him to expand my networking. But two of his friends I have talked to are awful.

The first one really indicated he has something to hide. The way he replied me really gave me the creeps. The first thing he said "you got a charming face." I thought he was referring to my MSN avatar that reveals a South Park character. Then later I realised he was referring to my Friendster photo. Not wanting to discriminate people and being 'arrogant', I just continued talking and down the road he kept on asking my sexuality and then about other people's sexuality. I thought he was gay and so I thought he wanted to make sure I won't discriminate him but further down the road... It became horribly uncomfortable so I ended banning him for good.

I told my friend off to STOP giving out my msn address. And I nearly wanted to scream top of my lungs because my friend knowing I would be in danger talking to him gave out my msn address due to pressure and insistence by that freaking guy! And he himself admitted he is afraid of talking to that troublesome guy. I rolled my eyes.

Today ... there was this girl - again my friend's friend - kept on asking for my MSN approval and I gave in because I wanted to ban her later. But I totally forgotten. So we ended up chatting. She's freaking ill-mannered. According to what I learnt from our conversation, she sells sex products online. I asked condoms? She said no ... she said something good for the gender's intimate part. I scratched my head. Later she asked me if I'm single or married. I asked her back if she wanted to do a sales pitch to me. She heeded it and added if I wanted sex and money. Oh my GOD. I have had enough. Immediately, I told her nice chatting with you and see you on the banning list.

I'm seriously going to SCREAM into my friend's ear. How could he again gives out my msn address 'nonchalantly' I believe? He said once before "I was afraid of adding strangers onto my MSN." Hey what the HELL do you know about me? I have added so many strangers before but all of them are normal and anime/manga fans! And your friends are weird! It's extremely and absolutely intolerable for me. I can't stand lewd people. Strangers I have added like Nuttz and talked to like Katrina are so normal people!!!! How can you freaking say "I was afraid of adding strangers"? My friend is really painting me a bad image of himself. And every time he invites me to some conversation I'm not even interested in.

I told him a few times that I'm not interested knowing his friends. Can't he understand English or I need to scream on the phone to get the message across??

ARGH!!!!!!! AM I BEING TOO NICE? Yea that's what my ex-collegmates said. They even mocked me to write a book on it.

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Doodle doodle...
Friday, January 4, 2008
I bought a figure drawing last Wednesday and I got so excited about it because I want to try out the lessons from the book.

I drew something in the office yesterday because I got a headache from work. Yes I'm now having a lot of work and they give me headache. So I drew something out of my headache. And my workmate said the drawing is a reflection of my mood. I told her the character is born from a tragedy befallen on her. And my workmate said the mood I was having at that moment is born through a character. What is worse is the character of mine is a sort of a pyscho youngster. And my friend really thinks my mood at that moment is to kill someone. Hahaha.

Tell me what you think. Click me!

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Under my skin
Thursday, January 3, 2008
My mum was telling me how this doctor she knows doesn't look like a doctor because of his appearance and dressing. People who don't know him personally may never even thought he's a doctor. How funny people nowadays still judge other people by its cover even though our world is getting smaller day by day.

Still remember those news in the local newspapers about the increasing number of Black students in Malaysia and in some areas? Some people discriminate them just because some Black people are fraughts. So with some news about some hot sex stuff about Malaysians... is it alright to say ALL Malaysians are sex maniacs and extremely crazy about sex? Or something like that. I think that's discrimination. Regardless of skin colour and gender, these foreign people in Malaysia just want to get money and education and then go somewhere else to achieve their dreams. Have we forget that they too have dreams? And of course some people might dream of achieving them through means that are not 'approved' by society.

But on the whole... imagine yourself going to a foreign country to work or study and you receive lots of discrimination just because of your skin. What do you think and what are you thinking the moment you were discriminated? Can't imagine yourself. Ok. Let's try imagine your kids going off to an unknown country to study. Won't you be worried of your kids safety? Same thing to these foreigners. They too have families and they just hope they get remittants. That's all. And of course there is another side of the coin...

I read Dina Zaman's article in today's newspaper. How sad it is. It's also about skin colour. Why people must judge people on skin colour? Why some people take this issue as something so serious?? I read somewhere that god gives us so many colours because it's a lesson for us to get along with each other or something like that. I find that article very meaningful and I think I read it on an African site... Don't really remember.

And I wish our world is much more at peace and more matured in handling skin colour issue.

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New Year Celebration
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
I'm not too sure if something is bugging my inner self but I have been thinking things for some hours already. I find them very disturbing which I don't know how to put into words. Oh well I'm always having difficulties in explaining my thoughts into words...

One of the things I have been thinking is more of a reflection of yesterday actions. A friend of mine was supposed to have lunch with me yesterday but somehow he totally 'forgot' about it and only 'remembered' me when he was in a state of penniless. He asked me to lend him money because he overspent 23k in a night. I'm not too sure of the details of his shopping spree but all I know is 23k a night? Isn't that too much? Well I did lend him some money knowing that it was an extreme investment where I won't even get back my raw capital. My mum was furious with his attitudes for exploiting me since he knew so many Tom Dick and Harry but why me to his rescue. I decided to lend him on the basis that I have experienced a similar situation before - I know the state of helplessness. But if he's not returning my money, I would surely haunt him and I think I still remember his house location... Damn ... I don't know his office number. Jolenesiah, should we try to practise our spying skills again? I seriously don't like to be taken advantage of. Who likes by the way? Another business idea to think of - AH LONG ENTERPRISE (Ah Long is a term used in Malaysia to refer to money lender).

The guy I lent money to seriously has financial problems. Surely it's none of my business but I never understood what is there to buy. A friend of mine asked me "How can you resist of not buying those so CUTE things" and some money spending related qs. I seriously don't indulge in buying cute things other than hunting for gifts/ presents. I never pampered myself buying cute things but only food like lunch/dinner at Chillies, coffee from Sans Francisco or an expensive cake. Clothes, bags, accessories are rare on my buying list, But recently I bought a few t-shirts for 50% off their original prices and a pair of jeans. Accessories? I have not been getting earrings lately simply because the designs nowadays are too unpleasant for my collection. Bags? Why buy bags if my mum could redeem from her credit card centre and Bonus Link? And who cares if the bags are not branded? As long they are usable and they look like "branded" you don't owe any explanation to anyone except your bank account.

I have only one credit card and its limit is RM 4k. But I have set my own limit on its usage to below RM 300 max. Why want to waste tomorrow's spending for today's excessive pleasure? Fashion trends, eletronical trends and whatever trends are not going to be always updated so why in the hurry to buy as though they are like chipsmore "now you see now you don't". So why don't do research before buying impulsively? If you really have this overpowering urge to buy the item ... just try walking one round of the shopping complex to distract yourself and then sit on the bench and ask yourself whether you need that item or not. If you know you can survive without that item just tell yourself "I will buy it tomorrow" and tomorrow never dies... Then you will forget about your craving.

I have a friend who told me she must have a lot of cash in her wallet. I went gag because I only have RM 50 the most in my wallet and that would last me at least a week if I brought my own lunch everyday. Even then sometimes my lunch would only cost me RM 2.50 - just friend noodle from some makcik on the roadside. And that's included my afternoon snack. I think my senior would only have RM 5 in her purse but I think that's too extreme.

My wallet has so little money? Yea I usually remove a large sum of money from my main account to another account. So the main account would only have the amount I needed to survive for the whole month. And the rest I will lock up in fixed deposit because I know my bad habit of using extra cash when it is accessible. But I'm planning to lock the money in money market then I can earn interest everyday ... hahaha.. I think so...

I sounded very easily but it is extraordinarily to execute. Necessity things have been going up and up but our purchasing power is stagnant for most of us. Don't you think so?

This article is pretty good: Where's My Money Gone?

My new year resolution is to not write blog entries that sounded like I'm committing suicide.




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