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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Passive Aggressive Notes
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
It's kind of funny how suicide notes and breakup speeches can be so similar.

"You're better off without me..."
"I'm sorry, but I didn't know what else to do..."
"It's better this way..."
"I just can't take this anymore..."

Even the clich� "it's not you, it's me" works.


Comment! (3) | Recommend!

Wouldn't be good enough
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I typically try to avoid lyrics as titles on Nutang but sometimes things just work...

(Title from "Heartbeats" by The Knife, by the way)

I like my Children's Lit class, but it's reviving that old feeling of incompetence within me. We were discussing Little Red Riding Hood and everyone was talking about the sexual themes in it. The professor said "if you didn't notice that, you need to read it again."

Silly me, thinking that maybe it was a more innocent time, and climbing into bed with grandma was socially acceptable. :/

One guy in particular mentioned "the red cape being an obvious metaphor for a hymen." Yeah... I didn't pick up on that, either. Blah.

I'm having friendship conflicts again. This seems to happen every few days now. It doesn't help that paranoia is driving me insane. Everything feels like lies. I feel like I'm being lied to and lying myself. It's not gotten to the point where I'm questioning my existence again, but that doesn't seem too far off. My perceived reality is distorted enough as is... I don't need to be getting impractically philosophical and randomly freaking out because I suddenly wonder if I've ever existed outside of the present.

So many things are just wrong...

Paddy on the railway, picking up stones,
Along came an engine and broke Paddy's nose,
Oh, says Paddy, that's not fair,
Oh, says the engine, I don't care

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Gettin' all medical up in here
Sunday, September 26, 2010
So yesterday night I went to talk to my mom about something, and she said "your neck looks fat. I think you might have a thyroid problem, and that's what's causing your depression."

Uh what.

Well let's see...


Oh wait, that's not me. Okay, well I guess it's just an unsolved case then.

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Shampoo bars
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The shampoo bar samples I ordered came today!

Man I love getting packages in the mail.(Who doesn't, though?)

They smell nice, but I think my favorite part is actually the cute tiny paper bags they're in.

I feel kind of like the stereotyped asian girls from Family Guy who think everything small is cute. Gah.

Also, here's another one of those videos with music I like and just... a weird clip.

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Hurray for hard to understand lyrics
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I believe I've discussed Van She on here before, but if not, here are some videos for your viewing pleasure/displeasure.

I like this one better, although it took a bit of listening to get what I hope are the correct lyrics...

The theme of Virgin Suicide kind of reminds me of Sic Transit Gloria by Brand New.

Even though I got it awhile ago, lately I've been appreciating Cherly Kacherly's "Drop - A 4 Note Soundtrack" a lot more lately. I guess it seems like fitting music for autumn.

This is not specifically relevant to this entry, but man, I have a lot of songs with lonely vibes.

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Tuesday, September 21, 2010
There's not actually a thing called Mashupalooza, is there? That would be kinda cool, but I'd feel like I was ripping off the title. :P

Anyway, STUFF.

This is probably the funniest mashup I've listened to in awhile.

"I wanna make it wit chu..."
"What is it?"


I keep getting those freebie cards from Victoria's Secret in the mail. Gave the first one to Lucy, forgot about the second one and it expired, and now there's this third one that's good until October 18th... I might go, but I always feel weird about going into that store. It's all... pink... and lacy... and I tend to just wander around awkwardly while my friends peruse the wares. Fun.

I've been playing with my new Bop-It Extreme 2... unfortunately all of our batteries are somehow either dead or dying, and so I was treated to the slow, demonic trailing off that is the voice on a device with battery power.

It went something like this:

"Twist it!"
"Bop it!"
"Pullll itttt..."
"Spinnnnn iiiiiiiitttttttt..."
"Fllic- ghhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeee"

And then it was just incomprehensible mumbles. ): I managed to find three batteries with some juice left, but I'm not sure how long it'll be before I have to replace them again...

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Subconscious WHAT
Monday, September 20, 2010
Since this entry is in the morning it won't detail any of the happenings of the day except for the dreamlets of last night.


My boyfriend told me his ex tricked him into kissing her, so I texted him and said "We're over."



I was in a hotel room with Casey and we were in the same bed... and I wanted to put some music on and she didn't mind as long as it was quiet so nobody else would hear it. So I did, and she said it was pretty decent quiet music. Then we said something about how we wished we had this book called "Lesbian Sex: How to Have It". And I asked her if she thought this meant I was cheating on my boyfriend... Don't remember how she replied but I think she said no. After that I was looking through a picture book that had a bunch of different types of platypuses in it, and there was one with a tiny body and long legs and giant feet, but I guess it was real because Casey caught it in her hands and freaked out. I told her to put it in a box, which she did, then released it outside.

We weren't in a hotel room anymore. We were in some storage room where the door had a hole in it where a little window would've been. She wanted to leave the door slightly ajar so it wouldn't look like we were in there but I wanted to lock it so nobody could come in and disturb us.... Even though all we were doing was flipping through channels. I guess we were trespassing.


Being nineteen has somehow flipped my sexual orientation. :0


Okay, well I'm back from my first two classes. Pretty sure I'm going to drop Journalism, but I might talk to my parents about that.

Anyway, some pictures for your viewing enjoyment...

This was in a cookbook that my mom picked up.


My mom set up some balloons. She did this for one of my other birthdays too, if you guys remember. That was the year I got the sandwich press/waffle maker.

I honestly don't understand why she got this for me.

Never at any time did I say I liked the movie, and I also already have bags (or "purses" if you must call them that).

My Aunt Cindy sent me a package with... a Blu-ray disc (we don't have a Blu-ray player) and scarf in it. More confusion on my part. I mean, it's the thought that counts, but I don't wear scarves... and I never saw Get Smart because it didn't look interesting...

In contrast to my other... not exactly exciting gifts, I got...


Yayyyyyy best boyfriend ever. :D

This beats last year by like, infinity times one hundred and YES I KNOW THAT'S NOT A REAL NUMBER STFU.

In case you're wondering why I'm so excited over this relatively outdated toy, it's because I've wanted one for years and yet nobody has ever thought to get it for me, and then I figured I'd just buy one for myself and it turns out they don't make them anymore. ): BUT, he acquired one for me somehow, and now I finally have one!

If it was possible, you can bet I'd be giving him a hug right now. That hundreds-of-miles-apart thing makes it kind of inconvenient though. :/

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Maybe if I'm lucky...
Sunday, September 19, 2010
...The world will end today and tomorrow won't ever come.

Not betting on it, though.


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