(Guys middaymoon is in my college town. He's only a fifteen-minute walk away. I can creep on him once again!)

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I feel like I should blog about something, but there just isn't too much that I really want to say, lately.

I've been getting better about my bipolar episodes, but it's...an uphill battle, to say the least. Trying to tell the difference between sincere happiness and a manic episode, in the moment, is so difficult that I find myself getting upset at my own (sincere) joy, sometimes, just because it's a little *too* happy, for me. When I start to get depressed, it's scary, and confusing--and feels inevitable, to an extent, even though it really isn't, if I just get on the offensive against that crushing feeling of emptiness.

I woke up, this Thursday, and just didn't get out of bed. Same with Friday. Saturday, I made sure to open my blinds and eat regular food, and, today, I made sure that I had plans so I had to leave the house, because it was starting to hit "that point."

My friend Kim and I walked these trails near her house, for a while. I don't know how far we walked, but it felt like a good distance, by the way my legs were sore in that nice, worked-muscle way. The weather was perfect, too; I was able to hike around in a tank top and jeans, and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky. We walked over small bridges surrounded by marshland and tall grass, and through dirt paths shaded by the twisted old, southern trees, covered in Spanish moss and green as a summer day. It was peaceful. Ideal. Even though Kim and I don't always see eye-to-eye, it was good just being able to get out into nature with someone else who actually likes nature. My other friends, down here, are great, but I'd need handcuffs and duct tape to get them to sleep in a tent.

Speaking of the outdoors, I finally signed myself up for a sailing class. It's going to run through the prettiest time of the year, so I'll be out on the water, for several hours, every day, just learning how to take a sailboat out. After this class, I can take the intermediate in the fall, then rent out the campus sailboats, whenever I like, for a day out on the water.

How perfect is this summer going to be?

Perfect. Super perfect.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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Comment! (1) | Recommend!

Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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