It's been a long time since
I believed I had my whole life ahead of me

Everything is important
And nothing matters
Simultaneously
When you've got no time left

---Edit---

First time replying to an ad on Craigslist: not good. To his credit, he did say he was in a bad mood in his ad, but wow.

"I've been in a bad frame of mind for close to a month now although I am feeling a little bit better.
I've been in a bad mood for close to four weeks now.
You can vent to me if you're in a bad mood as I will not mind.
I will not mind if you feel like chatting with me because you're bored.
I don't request seeing your picture and it's fine if you're taken as I am not looking for a girlfriend.
I will not be rude to you whasotever if you don't have everything in your life all together.
My AIM screen name is --- "

Me: not afraid of the Craigslist crazies?
Guy: what the heck?
Me: didn't expect anyone to reply?
Guy: I guess you just wanted to mess with me
Me: no, not really
Guy: sure
Guy: goodbye then
Me: ?
Guy: I said bye
Me: your Craigslist ad said you wanted someone to talk to...?
Guy: you didn't say, "hi" or "hey" or "how are you?"
Guy: you went, "So you're not afraid of Craigslist crazies?"
Me: if you'd prefer a more generic greeting I can supply that
Guy: Like really, go mess with somebody else
Me: I assure you I'm not crazy
Guy: whatever
Guy: goodbye!
Me: alright, sorry, bye
Guy: FUCK YOU

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So I had been thinking
BY JOVE
IT WAS THE SHAMPOO

But
Life said "HA JUST KIDDING"

And now I'm sitting here
In my pajamas
Listening to "Alors On Danse" for the whoknowshowmanyth time
(The original, not one of the crap covers)

Stewing in all my qualities
That are not insults in excess
But nevertheless detrimental
I suppose

Here are some stickers that say
Merry Christmas
In shiny ugly colors
Just like everything else about this holiday

I'm thinking about holidays from before
And fires in a fireplace that has been cold for years
A couch that we got rid of that folded into a bed
Putting pillows against the bricks so my cousins wouldn't bang their heads
We used to have a plastic play structure we called the Fort
It had a top level and a bottom one and a pink slide
It was clean because we kept it indoors
But it's gone now

Things are good sometimes
And things are terrible sometimes
If you're terrible all the time
Nobody will believe you when you try to be good
Everyone is looking for those patterns they can cast you in

More than anything
Else
I'm just tired

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We're going to a cookie exchange today, so I made molasses spice cookies. Sadly they ended up tasting like ginger snaps, possibly because we ran out of cinnamon. :( I also just realized that I probably baked the first two batches a bit too long, because I just ate one from the last batch (which I took out of the oven earlier) and it's all soft and awesome.

I did take pictures, but since my external hard drive crashed I have nowhere to store them and can't upload them...

In my Understanding/Managing Stress class, 360 points was an A, and you could get a maximum of 400 points. I got 399. :P

And... yesterday we went to the Bazaar Bizarre up in San Francisco. It was pretty cool. I got several gifts for friends and a hair band thingy for myself. If you've got no idea what the Bazaar Bizarre is, it's basically this big craft/art fair that features handmade stuff. Lots of fun! Afterward we sort of shopped (I say 'sort of' because we didn't buy anything...) around another part of the city.

Later on, Angie and I went bowling with Phoebe and her boyfriend/his friends. I am really terrible at it. No, really, I am. I know you're thinking "oh, you're just exaggerating, Randy!" but I am so completely serious right now, you have no idea. Mostly I bowled gutter balls, but I got a few random strikes. It was not enough to save my score from being the lowest.

Despite my utter incompetence, I did somewhat enjoy bowling. It kind of hurt my fingers, and I was trying very hard not to think about the caked on filth that surely lurks within those dark holes in the balls, but there wasn't really any awkwardness even though Angie and I didn't know Phoebe's boyfriend or his friends, and we caught up with Phoebe.

I should... probably be getting my stuff together for the cookie exchange. OKAY BYE GUYS.

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I'm sure several of you have seen this already, but I wanted to share it anyway:


What with this and Happiness (which I watched again with Alice yesterday), I guess I'm on a dark-side-of-the-suburbs kick.

My external hard drive crashed a couple days ago, so I haven't been able to use iTunes or access most of my files. :/

I've been listening to some of Jonathan Coulton's songs since I discovered that video. I like Someone Is Crazy. The music is not quite what I usually go for but I quite enjoy the lyrics.

Is Bitter there?
I'd rather talk to her than Disappointed
Though she's not quite as fun as Good and Mad
You better put her on
She can change the game
She can make me say I'm sorry

You throw your hands up in the air and swear you didn't know
You think the world revolves around you but it doesn't so you sit and spin
Baby, someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you

You set the trap
You lie and wait till someone trips the wire
Then you jump out to get your feelings hurt
And you act surprised
How did that get there?
Why does everybody hate me?

We're all familiar with the tragedy of being you
It's hard to show you any sympathy when all you do is beg for pain
Baby, someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you

You're all alone
Well maybe that's because you're so unpleasant
You might consider dialing back a bit
Put those claws away
Stop the waterworks
Spend a couple evenings sober

The world's against you, so you think or maybe wish it was
At least that way someone would care but baby, no one does, not even you
Baby, someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you
Someone is crazy and it's you

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Alice: It's alright. I know you're embarrassed because I'm so awesome.
Me: So embarrassed that all my future children came a-tumblin' out in a wave of unborn fetuses.
Alice: EWWWW THAT'S DISGUSTING. :( I do not approve.
Me: Yeah well maybe you shouldn't embarrass me so much I have a massive auto-abortion.
Alice: I can't help it. I don't control your emotions.
Me: Or my spontaneous abortions?
Alice: Exactly. It's not my beeswax.
Me: WELL then.
Alice: Sorry babe. Don't be mad.
Me: Too late! >:0
Alice: Ugh you're such a girl! :(
Me: IT'S THE OVARIES, ISN'T IT? ISN'T IT!?!!?
Alice: Perhaps it is. Why should I tell you? >:(
Me: There's someone else, isn't there! Can't you think of anyone but yourself?! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?!?
Alice: What children?? You killed them ALL, woman!!
Me: I didn't kill the already born ones!
Alice: What? You never told be about no children!
Me: THEY'RE ALL YOURSSSSSS
Alice: Impossible! How can this be?? This is madness...
Me: IT'S ALL TRUEEEEE
Alice: Don't lie to me woman. Who's the father?? YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN CHEATING!
Me: IT'S YOUUUUU
Alice: Stop. Just stop. Tell me when this happened??????
Me: That night at the party!
Alice: I don't remember anything.
Me: Must have been all the DRUGS you were doing! You are a horrible parent!
Alice: You were doing drugs when you were preggz. That makes you worse. Besides, i can up and leave whener i want gurl.
Me: You forcefed me those drugs!
Alice: I would do no such thing. What kind of man do you think i am?
Me: A terrible druggie man who causes women to have spur-of-the-moment abortions.
Alice: Like i said, i had no control over that. Its all your fault. Thats right, im ablamin ya.
Me: I'm leaving you! This marriage is a sham!
Alice: I don't even remember when we got married. Besides you can't leave me if I leave you first. I don't need you! I has a horse, two cats, and a dog named Sparta. Keep yo children woman.
Me: YOU NEVER LOVED MEEEEEE
Alice: I didn't say that. But I see that now you're trying to frame me as the bad guy. After all I've done for you. THOSE DRUGS WEREN'T CHEAP YA KNOW?
Me: I WAS EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANTTTTTT
Alice: What?? You said it happened at the party! Spit out the truth! I wanna hear it now! Do it before I gotta beat it outta you.
Me: No I mean when you forcefed me drugs I was super pregnant. D':
Alice: How was I supposed to know?
Me: By looking. D:
Alice: I was heavily under the influence. :(
Me: I know. D:
Alice: I take no responsibility.
Me: You wouldn't. >:0
Alice: Watch me. >:D
Me: Hmph!
Alice: Whatchu gonna do about it?
Me: Gonna take a nap 'cause I'm tired, that's what!
Alice: Fine. Ignore me. I don't need you. I have my drugs.
Me: Toodles, drugster.
Alice: Hasta la vista babe.


Alice: Hey you awake yet muffin ho?
Me: Nevahhh
Alice: I know you're up woman. Go make me some food. D:
Me: We are out of food. The wave of fetuses ruined it all.
Alice: My god! Is there anything you don't ruin. Find I'll go buy Chipotle or something.
Me: You do that! D:
Alice: I will! Where did you put all those dead fetuses anyway?
Me: It was a wave, and it washed away to who knows where.
Alice: Ew. You are just adding to the pollution. Be responsible and clean up your own mess.
Me: But I know not where it went!
Alice: Then track it down! You have kids to help you.
Me: I'm not going anywhere near that thing.
Alice: That thing? Or things?
Me: The wave.
Alice: Oh. Ew. :( woman.
Me: Yes.

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Angie: brb i gotta drop a deuce
Me: thanks for telling me that
Me: I really appreciate being the first to hear of your bodily workings
Me: or one of the first, at least
Me: yes, it fills my very heart with joy to the brim
Me: to know that I am one of the special few
Me: the privileged
Me: I weep at the beauty of this knowledge
Me: I can scarcely control the tears, I feel so touched
Me: YOU HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE
Me: THANKEE, THANKEE FOREVER MORE ANGIEKINS
Me: THY DEED SHALL NOT BE FORGOTTEN
Me: my children's children shall hear the tale of this wondrous moment
Me: and they too shall utter cries of awe and ecstasy for this day
Me: great authors will be inspired by this for years to come!
Angie: you having fun?
Me: yes, I am
Angie: good
Angie: i didnt end up doing it though
Me: don't let the pressure get to you, Angie!
Angie: but i'm all out of sparkling water beverage
Me: well that is a damn shame
Angie: yeah. it was really good

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