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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
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Blue Milk Special
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Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
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dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
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The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
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For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
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Legend of Bill
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Love Me Nice
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Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
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Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
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Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
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Ha HA!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I did not finish my essay the night before it was due this time! No, I finished it the night before the night before it was due!

Oh ho ho, look at me, being all fancy.

Only two more papers to write this week. BOOOOO

Also I guess I should study for my Psych final, which will be in essay format I think. Yuck. He might make it a take-home exam, though, so we'll see how that goes. If he doesn't, I'm guessing a lot of people in the class will fail, unless he curves it wildly again.

Is anybody interested in reading my essays?

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And finals are coming up soon...
Friday, March 11, 2011
I had a dream last night that started out as a bit of an adventure/quest, but then Bill Pullman came after me with an iron and it became scary.

Last night I stayed up until 4 watching the report on the Japan tsunami, so I was pretty tired today... and we went to the bank to ask them why they've been putting $30 charges on my account every month since November. They told us they'll only give back $90, but I guess it's better than nothing...

My mom got mad at me because she misunderstood me and somehow thought I was trying to make her do all the housework... or something like that... She often gives me talks about how she's always cleaning everything and nobody else ever helps her, and how I never do enough to clean, and she has to ask me to do stuff all the time... I don't know how many of these lectures I've been through, but she obviously has never heard that nagging people only makes them more resistant to what you want them to do. (It doesn't help that when I've already done my chores, she'll come over and pester me to do them because she doesn't notice that I'm done)

I'm wondering if my friendships are stagnating. Alice has been venting to me a lot about her school situation, and although I understand that she's distressed, it's making me feel like she just refuses to look at it from any other perspectives. She's been angry about everything, and says she's wasted part of her life.

I guess it strikes me as a bit odd that she alternates between thinking her time is invaluable to wanting to end her life... But then again, she's always fluctuating between extremes.

Earlier I was trying to take a nap to make up for my lack of sleep, and she texted me and told me she was feeling all kinds of horrible, so I got up and turned on my computer and signed onto AIM. She described her day, and how she had reacted badly to some teasing in her art class, and then told me she'd be right back... Twenty minutes, maybe half an hour later, she said "sorry, I have to go. Bye."



Hahahahaha, this is the worst album cover:

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Different topic, couple o' pictures [2P]
Friday, March 11, 2011
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Not even a chance
Thursday, March 10, 2011
So... he wasn't there today. :| I guess... if he's there next week... I can try... but it's the last week of real classes, so if he's not, that'll probably be it. Really, for good this time. I mean, I have been proved wrong time and again when I've said I'll never see him after a certain point, but I can't imagine it will continue like this indefinitely.

Dreamt about him last night. Dreamt he recognized me, remembered me actually. But also dreamt that I missed the chance to talk to him by two weeks, out of sheer forgetfulness.

And then there was a bit where my aunt put a piece of paper on my fireplace and drew a moustachioed hipster crying tears of joy as he fell into an abyss. That's not quite relevant though.

Too tired.

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Too warm
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
I read a couple of my poems in class today. Being up in front of everyone made me heat up pretty badly, and I might have been shaking a little when I got back to my seat.

If I take a public speaking class next quarter, it is going to suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Oh, and the professor concluded that the moral of my poem was not to wear pantyhose.

Last night I had a dream that the prof was taking the class out for something special, but a bunch of people just left instead of going, or they went in their own cars instead of the transportation he provided. I don't remember much except that there were books involved and an expensive brand of imported chocolate that was called "Natcho Nacho" or something like that. One of the flavors was called "Sleepy Budgerigar", and it was supposed to make budgies drowsy if you fed it to them.

Also, I saw DC yesterday! I was with my new friend though, so I thought it would be weird to go over and possibly talk to him (if I could even work up the nerve, I mean). BUT, if I see him again tomorrow, I'm gonna try! (And certain people reading this will possibly laugh or be like "FINALLY JEEZ") Probably what will happen though is that I'll totally freeze up and just walk right past and then when we're out of earshot start cursing my inability to form coherent sentences around him.

It's kind of weird to think the guy I hung out with yesterday/today is actually older than DC. :S (Or he should be, unless DC was held back at some point)

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Uhh... dreams
Sunday, March 6, 2011
I'm not sure exactly what to say about the dreams I had last night...

Some stuff I don't remember happened, and then I was sleeping under a blanket in a long room with a grey carpet. I felt somebody's clammy hands against my arm, and pushed the blanket off my head to discover an old classmate, who seemed to be mostly or perhaps completely naked (I couldn't tell). He was high on pot, and apparently trying to rape me or something sexual like that.

I fled, terrified and grossed out, and went to a bathroom to throw up. Apparently all I'd been eating for awhile was cooked spinach. After I was done with that, I went to a different bathroom and threw up some more. It felt like I had food poisoning all over again, which was awful.

When I had finished vomiting for good, I went into a larger part of the building, which housed many bunk bed/play structure things. My mom was in there, since she had apparently secured a bed, whereas I had not (hence the sleeping in the other room). I climbed around on some of the beds, and then the scene became an 8-bit sidescroller type game, and my character was an old magician man trying to escape from the place by digging a tunnel. There were guards though, and spikes and holes he could fall into. Unfortunately I wasn't skilled enough to get out alive, so he died, and back in the present, I learned that his ghost haunted the area.

In a separate dream I was at school, trying to figure out classes to take with Alice. I lost her though, and wandered into a classroom where there was a female professor teaching something about Venus. I thought the class was interesting, but I had either not registered for it or already dropped it. Regardless, I had to find Alice. I ran up an escalator, but didn't see her, so I got on one of those saucer sleds and went on the down escalator so I could get back outside.

She was nowhere to be seen, so I went and hung out with Phoebe and her friends. We walked around the uncovered basement of a serial killer's house. The actual house part had long since collapsed, so it was just an empty room with an ominous feel. There wasn't much to look at, so we stood outside, and they ate dried noodle snacks, and I thought about rodents and dead body blue liquid.

I woke up in between these dreams at around seven, with a song in my head that I'm pretty sure I've never heard before. It had a Death Cab For Cutie sound, but the words were unintelligible. I was too determined to go back to sleep to try and record it...

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Another perspective
Sunday, March 6, 2011
"I like talking to you."

You like pasting links to pictures and articles and random sites into the IM window. We don't have real conversations. You just talk about things, and I make small comments here and there. If I try to bring anything up you ignore me and add another link to the queue. It would probably be more appropriate to reword that as "I like talking at you."


Friday night was good! Alice freaked out because we had to drive through an unmarked alley to pick up Erika for the art walk (why was an alley on Google Maps?), but the drive was fairly smooth after that...

The First Friday galleries didn't have exhibits that were that great this time, I thought. Didn't really get to check out SLG, since we were late and only had a couple of hours to check out all the sites on the walk. The MACLA had an interesting comic/3D art thing going on, but that was the only one I found particularly memorable.

Alice and I agreed that Erika didn't seem to be having a very good time. I tried talking to her in one of the galleries, but she told me she wasn't much of an art person, so she didn't know anything about it, and that I shouldn't worry about her. :S It seemed like she felt like a fifth wheel, unfortunately. I was kind of bummed that she couldn't enjoy herself with us, but I guess that it's hard when you're shy and you're hanging out with a friend, a friend of that friend, and two guys you've never met before. I've talked with her without Alice before, but I guess we're more like friendly acquaintances? I'm not sure.


Today was not so great. :| I did work out a possible schedule for next quarter though, so I guess that's good?

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Youthful impatience, perhaps?
Thursday, March 3, 2011
I feel like I had to pry the information out of my prof when I asked how I could improve on that particular paper. The gist of it is that I need to clarify more... which I found a bit... uh... stupefying I suppose? When I explained the situation to Alice, she concluded that he just has "reading comprehension issues." :P

Here's an excerpt from my paper, and what he told me about it:

The �what� in �what drives me crazy� is not specified, so it could be any object, action, event, characteristic, etc. Let us imagine that it is being poked.

Apparently the "it" in the second sentence isn't specific enough, and readers might not realize that I'm referring to the "what" of the previous sentence. He suggested I make it more obvious, and change "it" to "the what" so as to avoid confusion.

Would it be condescending of me if I were to say that these hypothetical confused readers of mine are dumb as rocks? I mean, seriously. If I write...

I have an apple. Let's say it's red.

...The average person is not going to be going "Huh? I don't get it. What's the red object?"

---Anyway, enough about that.---

I talked to him again today about my comics. He thought they were good, but didn't say anything I hadn't heard before. Same old "you've got talent" and "you should pursue this" stuff. He DID mention that he knew some people in the field, and said he would talk to his wife about me (His wife is a graphic designer or something). I guess that's helpful, but I didn't really gain anything insight or learn anything new from the discussion. Ah well. I should probably submit something to the school paper...


I think I made a potential friend yesterday morning. My dad dropped me off at school early (around 10:10?)because it was raining (and my prof's office hours are 10:30 - 11:20, which is before my class with him), so I had some time to kill. I was sitting on a bench in the area under the cafeteria, browsing through my Beat Poetry book, and this guy came over and asked if he could sit on my bench.

I gave him permission, and he sat there for about two seconds, then started asking about my book. It developed into a conversation about writing fiction, then comics, and majors/future plans. After awhile I told him I had to go meet with my prof, and he asked if he could walk me there. I said yes, although the distance was pretty trivial, and outside the prof's office building he asked where I hung out on campus. Since I just go home after my classes, I told him I didn't hang out anywhere because I don't have friends at school, and he said I could hang out with his group. We exchanged phone numbers, then I left.

The whole thing reminded me vaguely of Nathan. I don't THINK this guy has been watching me or anything, but it's possible I guess. It's also possible he was hitting on me, but he didn't give that impression. In any case, I'm not attracted to him, so it doesn't matter much...

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