Chinese celebrate Hungry Ghost festival every year. And you could see the chinese burning money and I think now burning mercedes car [please bear in mind they are made of paper, though someone has burned a real mercedes car to honour the dead a few years back] and other useless technology gadgets that the dead won't know how to use. I'm referring to the dead that died before the emergence of playstation or the screening of Kungfu Panda. Yea .. and you could see these burning on the streets. Small colourful biscuits and some red candles will be burnt along too.

It is also a month where people might experience some supernatural events too. Do you have any ghost story to share? Please share with me if you do. But first let me share with you mine first.

Many people think it is a gift to be able to see spirits/ ghosts and they think I'm so cool to be able to spot them but frankly I never had a peaceful day when I had this gift for over 10 years. I was afraid to be home alone, I was afraid to be in the darkness, I was even afraid to sleep, regardless of time and the sunshine availability. I never told my family members about this "gift" because I was once told off to stop hallucinating. I tried telling them once and my mother cut me off by saying "SAY NO MORE". Full stop. I think I have even bite marks on my right hand before. After 14 years of silence, I told them recently and they were shocked. I think they just can't believe that they have been living with some uninvited guests for all their lives in our house!!! And I didn't even tell my mother the best part: there was someone in our room for months ...

to be continued .... [yea to be continued because I need to go home from office]

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I'm not referring to the Dreaming by Queenie Chan. I ought to make a review on that manga though.

I was referring to my dream this morning. I think I'm too into a japanese pop girl group called Morning Musume. I have been listening to their bubblegum songs seriously since June 2008; I have been hunting for Morning Musume video clips on youtube almost everyday without fail and I have seen most of their concerts until the latest ones in 2008.

Morning Musume picture [I removed the link since I can't seem to find a suitable picture]

I can remember all the members and former members of the group at the tip of my fingers. That shows how obsess I am... obsess?? I need to check on myself.

But basically my dream was hilarious. I dreamed myself being a member of this group. HAHA. I was holding a microphone and standing on a stage with five members out of 9. And I only remember Risa Niigaki, the sub-leader, talking to me.. Ah her smile is so infectious. She's really lovely and beautiful.

Risa Niigaki's photo

In my dream, I was wearing red and jeans. And I was smiling... like my brain [don't know left or right] seems to be very happy; as if I have not been happy for a very long time... sincerely happy. I actually have not seen myself smiling that naturally. Hmm.. Something new to me.

But anyway... that's all to my dream. I'm having insomnia at the moment... I need to relax myself. Hope you guys like this video; it's one of my favourite collaborations especially the ending chorus part. How I miss Mari Yamaguchi and Kei Yasuda presence in the group...

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Renaye ... you are going to go deaf. For sure.

As for today, I have finally joined the majority in poking their ears with a pair of earphone attached to a mp3 player. During my debut ... I find it very troublesome to put the wire aside ... increased or decreased the volume ... turned on or switched off the mp3 players. And after listening to it for awhile I got mild nausea. I don't think I will want to listen to it again, ever, except for listening to the songs for my assignment.

Gosh ... how do those people listen via the earphone for hours??? Listening to the mp3 player for one hour I feel I'm going to go deaf and my ears felt suffocated!!

No... no no no to mp3 player. If I want to listen ... without the earphone then. Thank god my mp3 player has speaker.

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I made a blunder today for my appointment. I got 2 free movie tickets to watch Don't Mess with the Zohan and I misread the preview date for tomorrow as for today. It was 1.5 hour before the appointment... and thankfully another friend of mine invited me to the same movie in the cinema opposite my office!! And so my friend also managed to get another ticket for my other friend so ... my friend was really a life saviour...

The movie was funny... should watch for releasing stress though the moral of the movie is weak but a good one. I heard the Kite Runner movie makes you even cry ...

And then .... hahaha .. that's where I was really blind. After movie, my other friend and I needed to catch one of the last few trains but before I visited the toilet at the train station ... I was very happy that I don't have to pay the entrance fees and so I went into the toilet without looking at the sign... I just immediately entered after spotting the entrance ... and when I wanted to wash my hand ... I went 'huh?' after seeing a guy's back in front of me doing his business... I quickly wash my hands and went out of the toilet to realise that I entered a male restroom. HAHA... then I quickly fled to the train terminal. My friend later called me to ask for my location and I told her I was lining up to enter the train. She was very worried because she could not find me in the ladies. And she blurted saying jokingly "Don't tell me you were in the men." I laughed!

No idea what has possessed me today ... I guess it must be the boredom... be@rbrick ... foldable chopsticks and the need to go to the ladies...

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Today something unbelievable happened to me. Never happened before. I almost fainted after my vocal lesson this afternoon. I already felt lack of oxygen in my chest when I was still in office. And then when the class started ... I felt a little worse ... but that was also because I was not breathing in much air for the warm-up making my chest numb and my head a little spinning. But after singing the last song: Hero by Mariah Carey... I really nearly fainted. I did some yoga exercise for the chest but it only alleviated the numbness for a shortwhile. I ate some biscuits given by my teacher but no effect so hunger was not the reason. Just walking 10 steps out of the vocal lesson centre ... my legs became wobbly and I was forced to sit on the bench, just to rest. It was not any better and I text my colleague to inform her I will be returning late to office. I was very worried about my own safety as I sit on the bench alone because that area in the shopping mall is very quiet. So I forced myself to walk down to the ground floor where people were bustling and I talked to an insurance agent from Maybank. If not ... I'm afraid someone in the shopping mall will spot me to be their robbery victim... I felt much better after talking to the agent so I walked back to my office ....

This is so indicating me to have adequate of sleep...

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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