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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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A different cookie
Monday, March 21, 2011
Somewhere in an alternate universe, another me has a different cookie, and the way it crumbles is not disappointing.

Or maybe my excitability is just on the fritz.

It doesn't quite feel like it was anticlimactic. In fact, I would say it went quite swimmingly, considering the situation.

What the hell am I talking about, you ask?

I TALKED TO DC. Yes folks, for the second time in... four/five years, I talked to him. And you know what? He was cool with it. I said it was probably weird for him, and he said it must be weirder for me, since I was the one admitting I liked him back in high school.

He was a pretty normal dude. We talked while he waited for the bus, and the conversation wasn't awkward or embarrassing.

It was comfortably casual, but wildly disappointing. I didn't feel attracted to him at all.


I feel like I should be WTFing out the wazoo right now, but maybe I'm just too tired to react.


"You ruined everything, in the nicest way"

--Jonathan Coulton

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Lines I wish I could reasonably write in
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Better to be safe than sorry where grading is concerned.

Sometimes though, I wish I could add in little things like this:

"America has been influenced by many cultures; some are very subtle and barely noticeable, while others smack us in the face and tell us to go back to the kitchen to make them a sandwich."

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Just so I don't forget this one
Saturday, March 19, 2011
I had a dream last night that I was dating or married to a guy. I don't remember what he looked like, really, but we could transform into animals. Actually, there were several people who could, and one of them was this rather malicious guy who was bitter over his short stature. (He was 5' 4)

My significant other had, at some point in the past, gained the ability to turn into an invincible turtle. Or perhaps it was a tortoise. In any case, that form was invulnerable, while his human one was not. The short guy could turn into a purple alligator (which was very short as well, probably about two and a half feet long?).

In the beginning of the dream, I screamed as I watched the little purple alligator beat my boyfriend or husband to a bloody pulp in his human form. After that... well I don't know if it was a flashback, but my SO was not injured.

We were at an airport with some other members of our... team? There was an old guy who looked a little like Rodney Dangerfield, and a couple little girls, as well as some other unmemorable people. The short guy was not there yet, but when he appeared, we had to run.

My SO and I quickly climbed up the ladder on the side of a white building and hid on the roof, but he tracked us down and began to ascend the ladder in his alligator form. He was going to try to hurt me, since it would affect my SO, so my SO turned into a turtle/tortoise and I flung him down at the purple alligator climbing up. It knocked him down to the ground, but he began to come up again, so my SO somehow climbed the ladder faster than him and let go, pushing him down again. This repeated a couple of times, but unfortunately, turtles/tortoises aren't very fast, so it wasn't going to work forever. I think he reached the top and was going to try to kill me, but then the scene shifted.

I was at my house, and my family was going to KFC for dinner. They asked if I wanted them to pick me anything up, so I looked at the menu to see what was available. At first I was just going to go with potato wedges, but then I noticed that they had a special new item called the "Italian Combo", which was supposed to be healthier than their other fare. It was comprised of several stick-shaped foods, the only one of which I remember was rectangular pizza cut into strips. They advertised it as being 90 calories. I told them to get me that, but after they left, I couldn't stop thinking about potato wedges, so I decided to go to KFC to tell them to change my order.

When I got there, the purple alligator was in line. It was kind of dark, inside and out, but I could see him very clearly. I guess he just wanted food though, because he didn't try to attack me.


For having a connecting theme throughout, this was sure a long dream...

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Old bonds
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Sometimes people say things that they mean to be reassuring, but really they just come off as offensive and inconsiderate.

How often are we friends with people merely because we get along with them? Or is that significant, rather than trivial?

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Car power
Friday, March 18, 2011
There's a play going on at my high school tonight. I watched the first half of it, but did not at all feel like seeing the rest, so my dad gave me his house key and I walked home.

About halfway back, a white car drove by me, and some (presumably high school) boys yelled out "SKANK! HO! SLUT!" I just kept walking (kind of fast, because I was cold), so they stopped the car by the curb on the opposite side of the street and opened and slammed the doors. I'm assuming it was meant to scare me or something... Not sure what exactly they were going for. Was I supposed to think they were going to come after me?

In any case, they drove ahead of me, and were a ways down the street when I got to the crosswalk at the intersection. After crossing, I saw that they had turned around, and were making a right turn at the corner where I was walking.

I looked at them, and one of the boys thought it would be appropriate to scream "AAAAOOOOO!"

The whole time, I had to force myself not to laugh. Cars make people feel anonymous and powerful in relation to pedestrians and cyclists. Kind of like... the internet, actually. I wouldn't be surprised if those guys also enjoyed trolling.


In other news, I got a dress today! And it's not black! Perhaps I will post a picture later. Kind of tired right now. Also, I think Angie butt-dialed me about half an hour ago. My phone rang, and I picked up and said hello, but all I heard was "you can order anything you want..." and "I thought it was a four course meal?"

I wasn't sure if she was just preoccupied but had called me on purpose, so I said "hello?" a few more times before hanging up.

That's my two amusing events of the day!

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Spring 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I hope I'm not signing up for suicide by taking eight courses (21.5 credits, which is the maximum allowed unless you petition for more) next quarter.

Granted, three of them are PE, and one is Literary Magazine, so I'll only have four actual academic classes... With all the free time I have now though, I figured I could do it and still get As...

Worst comes to worst, I have a lot of options if I want to drop something. :P

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Okay, essay links [DP]
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Your choices
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I have a few essays which I can post, but you probably don't want to read all of them, so I'll let you pick which ones you want me to put up. I'll probably paste them into a private entry or something once the couple of you who expressed interest tell me which ones you'd like to read.

Intro to Poetry essays:

An Abnormal Mouse: What I think of "The Red Wheelbarrow".
Remembrance: Explication of the W.B. Yeats poem "When You Are Old".
On the Playground: Explication of the Langston Hughes poem "Evil".
Driving Contemplations: Semi-explication of Robert Creeley's "I Know a Man".

The Greek Achievement essays:

Aesthetic Expression in Ancient Greece: How a piece of artwork from Ancient Greece relates to the values of the time
Love Makes the World Go Round: Discussion of Socrates's speech from Plato's Symposium.

(I don't recommend the latter two, but I figured I'd let you guys decide)


Man, today sucks.

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