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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Before I drop off
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Well, it's only 5:23 PM, but I'm super sleepy. It's this getting-up-at-6:45-AM business. Going from "waking up at 2 PM" to that is... a bit rough.

I'm doing okay though! Unlike some, I can weather it without the use of caffeine.

Yay, relatively drug-free lifestyle... (Still gotta take a Zyrtec for allergies...)

My dream last night was quite a wild ride. I will summarize it in bullet points for you.

-Varsha's dad had discovered all her fancy underwear and destroyed it
-She came to me, very upset, and told me the story
-My favorite pair of underwear was on the floor, so she picked it up and put it on (she was NOT naked though; people can get dressed in my dreams without undressing first)
-I observed, kind of uncomfortable with what was happening, but didn't say anything
-I told her we would go to Victoria's Secret and get her some new fancy underthings
-Asked my mom where Victoria's Secret was, because the ones I knew weren't big enough, and I was sure they were having a sale
-She told us there was a good one by "Off the Ramp"
-We went there
-An old lady was the proprietor
-She was sort of a cantankerous sort
-I somehow murdered her
-We dragged the body to the back room and didn't know what to do with it
-It turned out that day was her birthday, and she had a hot date with an old dude
-He came around looking for her
-We hid until he left
-I suddenly had the brilliant realization that everybody would be tricked into thinking everything was perfectly normal if we went to the parking structure and played tag
-We did so
-Fast forward several years
-I had apparently taken over the store and turned it into a liquor shop
-The body was also gone
-My two bored looking teenage employees were wearing red aprons as we stood in the back room
-I told them they were lucky that I was passing on the store to them, because when I was their age, I had to start from scratch with my establishment, and it was hard work
-Then we had a party where all the guests were large fat black women

I think it's kind of amusing that "starting a business" equates to "murdering an old woman and stashing her body in the back room" in my subconscious.

Despite getting sleepy towards the end, I would say I had a good day! There was the dream, and class went well. I went to Jamba Juice and tried one of their new fruit/veggie smoothies (it was okay... I can make better ones at home for much cheaper). I have a break from 10:20 - 12:30 PM every day, so there wasn't much for me to do but wander. I had anticipated this, and brought a book to pass the time, but wasn't sure where to go to read. Since I had a smoothie, I couldn't go to the library (and the library is kind of big and impersonal anyway...) and I don't like reading outside (lighting is too bright, plus all the distractions...). I settled on the Kirsch Center, which is where I had my environmental studies class last quarter.

Well, I hadn't been there long before I saw the dude I was sorta befriending from the ES class. Cement plant guy, if you prefer to remember him that way. We chatted for a bit while he checked on his class (which turned out to be online), then he suggested we go for a bike ride. I had nothing better to do, so I agreed. I was a little worried he was going to be like, a hardcore cyclist, but we actually went pretty slowly, so it turned out fine.

As we rode along, we saw a sign that said "Blackberry Farm". He asked me if I'd been there, and I said no, so we decided to check it out. Very disappointingly, it was not a farm with blackberries. It turned out to be... kinda like a country club. We rode down a paved path and stopped at a trail along the side. I guess he has a penchant for... breaking and entering abandoned buildings, so that was the only reason he pointed it out. XD

We parked our bikes in the grass and walked around on the trail for awhile (and passed an elderly bird watcher and some wild bunnies) and talked some more. Hell if I remember what we talked about, though.

Eventually we decided to go back, and ended up sitting on some tanbark next to a walkway at school. Well, he sat, I stood. I didn't want to sit on the tanbark, but he let me sit on his jacket, so that was nice. Very chivalrous. :P We might hang out again sometime, who knows!

Oh yeah, and the other guy I was hanging out with... uhh... Sunday night he called me to tell me he got me some gifts. It was kinda weird. On Monday we hung out and he gave me the stuff... it was an Uglydoll keychain (neon orange) and a knockoff Uglydoll. He told me he thought I'd like them.

I mean, it's the thought that counts, yeah, but... really... it was such a... not entirely pleasant surprise... I feel like you save the gift-giving for friends (I don't consider us close enough for this to be okay) and... well... romantic interests. And I DON'T want this to go down the latter road. Staying away from romance has dramatically improved my overall mood, it seems like.

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Makeup, you say? [2P]
Sunday, April 3, 2011
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Sunday, April 3, 2011
I am not hungry, but I have this compulsion to just stuff myself until I throw up.


Also my budgies have been doing this thing where one hits on the other, and the receiver of the affection is totally not into it, and then after some time they switch off.

So you got Cici makin' a move on Romeo, and he's like "ehhhhhhhhhhhhh" when she's all up in his stuff.

Then Romeo is prancing around the cage being cheerful and getting all flirty and basically shoving his face in hers and she just sits there stoically.

Those guys... I... don't... I don't even know.

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Discussion on life decisions [DP]
Saturday, April 2, 2011
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So how 'bout that weather
Friday, April 1, 2011
I'm not playing any April Fool's tricks on anyone, but it sure feels like the weather is trying to play one on me.

"Hey, it's summer! Have some warm sunny days to go with your shorts and t-shirts!"

And then...



Yeah, life continues as usual.


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A few contemplations about living situations
Monday, March 28, 2011
If/when I live in an apartment with roommates... I think I will clean much more than I do at home. I didn't clean my dorm room at St. John's much, but I didn't have the supplies for it, plus we only had a bedroom and a disgusting filthy bathroom with weird surfaces.

Or at least, I'll probably clean the kitchen a lot. I'm not that good at cleaning bathrooms. (Something to work on...)


I went to Angie's not-really-a-party "gathering"... yesterday. It was pretty fun... Jasper came along, and we frosted the cake I brought with Nutella frosting.

The "gathering" started out with some asian people, but then they left, so we were alone with Angie and her roommates for a few hours. We mostly sat around and talked, and then helped critique her roommate's design for a contest.

At around 8:30 three of her other friends came, and we played some sort of drinking game... I didn't want alcohol, so I just drank orange juice. I still enjoyed it though, for the most part. (Even though all the truth or dare things were dirty... wtf?) The game lasted for HOURS. One of Angie's friends is like, super serious about truth or dare. No joke. I didn't want to do one of the dares, so I protested when I saw it, but he pulled me aside and sort of... tried to find a way for me to do it. No substitutions allowed, apparently. X|

I couldn't tell if he was joking or if he just takes games that seriously. :S

Anyway, Angie eventually left to be picked up by a guy so they could go make out (or something...), so Jasper and I were kind of left there until my mom came to pick us up. The "gathering" had generated a bit of a mess, and I didn't feel right just leaving it out like that, so I suggested we help clean it up...

We put the dishes in the sink, which, honestly, I don't think was enough, but my mom arrived before I could do much else. Angie had planned on just leaving everything out... She lives with three other people though, so I thought it would be inconsiderate to let the mess stay. I dunno, maybe her roommates are cool with that... y'never know really.

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Some snacks
Saturday, March 26, 2011
We went to a Japanese grocery store after I dropped off my paper on Thursday.

Since I hadn't really eaten much/anything beforehand, I was pretty hungry, so I picked out some interesting looking things...

everyone says GOOD GOOD EAT

This actually tastes pretty good for the five seconds the flavor lasts. I have no idea what it's supposed to taste like though, since I can't read the packaging except for the "Watering Kiss Mint" part.

I was finishing up the frozen berry medley bag and found this giant blackberry. It might not look huge, but trust me when I say it was.

(Aw, look at me, taking pictures of mundane things. Just like ol' times!)

And here are my budgies. I was trying to get them to spend some time outside the cage for once, but Romeo doesn't like being... not confined... I guess.

Next week is my spring break! And then after that... new classes. :|

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Cupcakes, dresses and Trojan ponies [DP]
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
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