I spent around 5 hours just to get the ideal wallpaper for my laptop. I have found a few but I forgot that my laptop's screen is 14 inch. So most of the wallpaper I found is not suitable because the stretch effect 'mutilated' the beautiful characters and scenery. And damn ... I should not have changed my wallpaper because my previous wallpaper was so nice in terms of it was not obvious that the wallpaper is stretched; it looked perfectly normal on my screen. I'm still looking for the ideal wallpaper despite deciding to settle on a Bleach Rukia wallpaper.

I'm absolutely finicky about getting the right wallpaper. It has to be anime-related; it has to be dark colours like black and blue; the characters have to be on the right-side of the screen because my computer icons are on the left; and the resolution has to be quite big so it will fit my screen perfectly.

I slept at 2 am just to get the 'perfect' wallpaper... Sigh. I'm still looking for the ideal one.

Yea... What is Violence? Part 2 will be back soon.

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A Cantonese drama entitled Heart of Greed made this song, My Love Will Get You Home, popular among its chinese viewers. This song was sang by Christina Glass. I have heard of this song a few months ago in a boutique but never bothered to find out more until I watched that chinese drama. I like this song and the lyric; it's very simple but yet able to convey the message to a lover. You can play the song on your left.

My Love Will Get You Home
If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.

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My client lent me a book written by a senior practitioner of Nichiren Daishonin and he explained what is violence. Would just share with you a part of it from Buddhism in a New Light written by Shin Yatomi.

Violence is a deliberate wish, expressed or unexpressed in word or deed, for the destruction of life; it is a symptom of the weak, passive self that seeks to validate its existence through dominating and destroying other lives or things valued by others. Violent people are weak, for they cannot find the inner strength to overcome their insecurity or aloneness and, therefore, must destroy others so that they may feel empowered. Their power, however, is an illusion since it is over others, not from within.

to be continued ...

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No, I didn't get any propose as at August 2008. I put up some "Behold My Future" table here but I deleted it because the table doesn't seem right on my blog.

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Yup, it's me on the magazine!

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Ghost Day part 2 is back due to popular demand.

I think I have written this story before but I can't find it. So please enjoy this experience!

I was never afraid of the dark when I was a child. I could go into an unlit room and fetch the thing I want and come out without feeling scared at all. I still had this gut until I had my first supernatural experience at the age of 10.

I had a habit of sleeping in the living room at night because it was more airy than my room. But somehow one night my mum woke me up at 2-ish to ask me to drink water. I went back to the sofa to continue my sleep but it was not according to my plan. While I was lying down, I heard footsteps around me. It was not uncommon since my family members wore slippers in the apartment. I didn't bother until the footsteps 'lingered' too long ... There's no way for my mum and sister to walk around the unit for that long for the footsteps were continous. I thought it was my neighbour since my mum did tell me that a neighbour accompanied her daughter to ground floor for the school bus but won't it a little odd for the foosteps to hang around my sofa and at 3 am?

Something was very wrong.

I opened my eyes and the footsteps stopped. I could only hear the fan spinning and the flipping flapping of the newspaper. I moved my slippers nearer to the sofa. I told myself my mind is playing tricks on me. And I closed my eyes and the footsteps came back! I rolled to my right side hoping I would just go to sleep but I could not since beads of sweat formed on my forehead and my heart was racing. As I was lying on my right side, my left ear picked up some static sound like you are trying to get the right frequency radio channel. I covered my ear with my hair. And ... my hair somehow ... was pushed away from my ear!!! I did it again and somehow it led to the same result.

My head was screaming "GET OUT OF THERE." And I did. I scrambled back to my room with my pillow, blanket and bolster. And then I stood beside my mother's bed... thinking how to break the news that there was something out there but somehow my mother woke up and scolded me for surprising her and gave me "Why the hell you woke me up?" look. She was prettily mad and not forgetting to scold me to switch off the fan before returning to my room. Somehow I chicken out and didn't tell her my mind. I went back to the living room with absolute fear to turn off the fan and dashed back to my room.

I felt safe back in my room for my sister was asleep above me (double decker bed); I was relieved knowing whatever out there is not coming into my room because there's another person presence in my room but somehow... it was wrong. After snuggling in my blanket and my giant seal toy on my right side, I saw a short female shadow with long hair and button nose on the wall. I wanted to look at the shadow source but I was put to sleep.

Since this incident, I was enabled to see and feel spirits. The next day after this incident... I had visitors in my room everyday, on my sister's bed. I have never seen them but I could hear them rolling on the bed and making funny noises. So I always ended up sleeping in the living room in the presence of my mother when my sister was not sleeping in the room with me.

I didn't tell my mother and sister? I did the very next morning. But they told me it was my hallucination and no such thing exist moreover in a house that has a god altar. I tried to explain more but I was told to shut up and I think my mother even threatened to beat me up if I continue telling them my "made-up" story. Since the scolding I never told them any of my encounters even after 14 years of announcing the truth.

But I can tell you all that life was hell for me since that incident until 2003. Do you feel safe when you are back home? I didn't especially my mother and sister are always not around in the house. Do you sleep well at night? I didn't even though I was sharing a room with my mother. That's all because I have visitors all the time.

Do you want this kind of life? Yea it's cool to have the gift but do you want to lead a life where you don't even feel safe at your own haven? You might jump to the answer of YES because you simply don't know what it feels like. Don't understand the feeling? Simple. Just try placing yourself in a home where your mother or father abuses you everyday or even someone close to you comes into your room every night to molest you.

So you guys please be careful during this Hungry Ghost period. Check out Foongpc's site for some ways to protect yourself! One more thing is... don't try to pick coins in this period. Right ... I think that's a reminder for my money-minded being!

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