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quiet, simple birthday ... and falling behind
Tuesday. 10.6.09 7:17 pm
As Nuttz mentioned in the SB, yesterday was my birthday. I turned 23. Nothing special. 25 is what I'm looking forward to because then my car insurance goes down.

I worked my normal shift, came home, changed and left again, stopped at the store to pick up single serve cake slices {not everyone wanted chocolate; I'm willing to compromise} and made my way over to Jacob's.

It was a good, simple, quiet day. It's probably the most relaxing day I've had in a while and definitely one of the better birthdays I've had in years. I mean, sure, I've had good celebrations for my birthday, but the actual day of usually sucks. This year was a nice change.

Jacob, his mom and grandmother all got me cards {two had some cash in them} and Jake also got me a couple things of candy. I hung out for about 6 or so hours and his mom was nice enough to fix a birthday dinner for me. We had steak fajitas.

So yeah. My 23rd birthday was actually a good one.

I'm falling pretty far behind on NuTang, though. I still come on here, but I'm not always in the mood to read blogs. I like to try and comment on every blog I read, but lately, it just hasn't held my interest. I'm trying, though.

I think I might go to bed soon ... even though my hair is wet. I'm tired. The nap I took earlier, I think, was a bad idea because I don't feel well right now. Eating Carl's Jr and then going to sleep wasn't the smartest thing to do. And I'm paying for it now. Oh well. Hopefully I'm drinking enough water right now to flush everything out of my system.

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precautions and preparations
Saturday. 10.3.09 9:08 pm
Jacob came home from the hospital today. Which is damn lucky because we were expecting him to have to stay at least one more night. But when we ran into his surgeon we talked for a few minutes and the doctor told Jake that he could be discharged today. It really is spectacular that he had open heart surgery on Tuesday and is home today. He's just recovering incredibly fast.

Due to this occurrence, I will be taking certain precautions over the next few days in order to stay as healthy as possible.

First thing I'll need to do is get a flu shot. I wouldn't want to get sick and risk getting Jacob sick. Not the best thing to do when you've just had a major surgery and are trying to recover.

I'll also need to invest in a lot of antibacterial hand soap and hand sanitizer. I want to do everything I can to keep from getting sick. I could care less if I get myself sick, but if I'm around Jake for any period of time in which I have any kind of viral bacteria, I can't risk making him sick. So I simply do what I can, short of completely avoiding him, to keep everything and everyone as healthy as possible.

In buying the soap and sanitizer, it'd probably be a good idea to stock up on more lotion too. I can't stand how dry my hands get when I continuously wash them. A minor setback, but all necessary precautions that need to be taken.

I'll be going over there tomorrow and Monday, then Tuesday I'll be getting the flu shot. The only reason I'm waiting is because I want to be there on my b-day and I'll need to give myself a couple days in order for the shot to kick in. This way just in case I get sick from it, I won't be around Jake.

We're all relieved that he's home. And I'm sure he's feeling much more comfortable now that he's not stuck in the hospital. This is probably going to be the hardest week of his recovery at home, but after that it'll only get easier.

I'm not tired, but I'll be getting up in about 8 hours so I should at least try and sleep. Until next time ...

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prayers and exhaustion
Wednesday. 9.30.09 6:40 pm
This is only going to be a quick update. I'm too exhausted to write out a ton of details.

Jacob has his surgery on yesterday. It went very well. And was quicker than the estimated time we were given.

We were at the hospital for 12 hours yesterday, though. It was a long day.

His mom was nice enough to let me stay at her house last night instead of making me drive all the way back to mine. She probably understood that it was an exhausting day for all of us and no one was awake enough to drive really anywhere.

We got to see him briefly last night. He was still on the breathing machine and the anesthetic hadn't completely worn off yet, but he was happy to see us.

This morning he was looking really good. They even had him up walking for a short distance. Isn't that crazy? Less than 24 hours after open heart surgery and he's walking around. It's amazing. But Jacob's amazing so ... yeah.

I don't even know how many times I sanitized my hands between yesterday and today. Probably a lot more today than yesterday, though, because I was going in to see him whenever the visiting hours allowed.

Over the next few weeks, I don't know how often I'll be updating because I'll be trying to spend as much time as I can with him. Once he's home though, after about a week, I'll only be going over to his house when he's okay with it. I don't want to intrude.

Alright. I really should eat something, but I'm feeling sick to my stomach again. And hopefully I'll be able to get some kind of sleep before work tonight. I really, really hate that I have to go back in to work tonight. But it's necessary.

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*sigh*
Sunday. 9.27.09 8:15 am
Yesterday was good ... up until I had to come home. That's always the way it is. The day starts out great, goes great ... then ends. And it sucks. The ending is very rarely ever leaving me going home happy.

I had a few plans for yesterday and they all consisted of stuff that wasn't going to be very much fun. I planned on showing up at the South Point alone, getting the tickets to Bodies, wandering the show for just a couple minutes, then coming home. After that I planned on going to the storage unit and working some more. Basically a not-very-fun day.

So when I wake up around 8am, I'm laying there debating whether to get up then or just try and go back to sleep for another hour, when I get a phone call. It's Jacob wondering if I want to go to Hoover Dam with them. Of course I jumped on it. It probably wouldn't have mattered what my other plans were for the day, I would have canceled them. A bit sad, but true.

I get up, get dressed and head over there. We then proceed to head out. I'd never been to Hoover Dam anyway; just driving over it a couple times. It was fun. Afterwards we decided to spend some time at Fremont Street. That was pretty fun too. We all got something to drink and wandered for a bit. Gambled a little and lost most of it.

When we got back to his house we hung out for a bit, then went out to the bookstore and Blockbuster. Since he still had alcohol in him, I drove. Found the book he wanted, but Blockbuster didn't have the movie he was looking for. Went back to his house, his mom was cooking dinner and trying to upload the pictures we took at Hoover Dam to the computer.

After dinner is when it started to get all weird. I was falling asleep on the couch so he told me to go in and take a nap. When I woke up two hours later, he was pretty much exhausted from the day and wanted to sleep so he asked me to go home. He didn't even walk me out to my car like he normally does. Even when it's a night when he wants to go to sleep, he at least does that. He might not stay and watch me drive away, but last night, I even had to lock the door behind me when I left. I understand that he was tired, but still. That's never stopped him before.

Time has also pretty much run out. I'm glad I got to see him yesterday, but that was the last of the time I'll have with him while he's in good enough health for a couple weeks. I'll get to see him tomorrow, as long as he's still okay with me hanging with him and his cousin, but I'll be so busy tomorrow, I don't know how awake I'll be. I guess it won't matter. Either way I'll force myself to be awake enough to spend time with him.

{side note: I feel comfortable talking about this stuff without the fear of him seeing it because I know he doesn't read these anymore. He stopped a long time ago. I don't even think he remembers the site}

I've come to realize I have a problem. No matter how tired I am, no matter if I'm ready to collapse in bed, I still have to get on the computer before I sleep. I can leave the house without getting on the computer first, but it irks me for a minute while I'm leaving. I could go a couple days without the computer, but it would bother me ... a lot. It's like a drug. Same thing with my phone. I accidentally left my phone in the car yesterday and when I realized it, I asked if they could wait a second so I could go back and get it. I know that with my lack of a life {I just don't have one} and nowhere really to go out here, if I tried to test myself to see if I could go a day or two without either device, I'd go crazy.

I have one plan for today: bring my sister to work. I should call my mom and have her go through more stuff in storage, but I don't know if I want to. I'll probably just come home.

Tomorrow is the day that I'm going to be freakishly busy.

Fuck today. I may be special, but the day isn't.

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two days + two days + two days
Wednesday. 9.23.09 1:22 pm
There are two more days in the work week. I'm ready to be done working for the week, but I have to make it through 16 more hours of work. At least the days seem to be going by a little faster. Not much, though. I think it has something to do with the fact that one of the drivers makes two trips rather than just the one.

After that there are two days to the weekend. It needs to be more. Weekends are never long enough. Even when I'm having a shitty weekend, I very rarely ever actually want to go back to work. I may want the bad time to end quickly, but I hardly want the work week to start up again.

Two more days later is Jacob's surgery. I can't believe its only 6 days away. Which means my birthday is in 12 days. Craziness.

For some reason my jaw hurts right now. Whenever I open it all the way, like to yawn, or when I bite down on something it hurts. I don't know why. Hopefully it'll go away soon.

I've been spending a lot of time on Facebook lately. I still make it a point to come here regularly, though. I could never abandon NuTang. Even when I don't feel like blogging, I'm still here as a lurker.

It's starting to get just a slight cooler outside. It's really nice at night when I leave for work. Now if only that temperature stayed when the sun came up.

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rant {PWP, just in case; message for pw}
Monday. 9.21.09 4:59 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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