Back from Hawaii, yesiree.

I woke up at around 4 PM "today" (Thursday). :|

What with the three hour time difference between Hawaii and California, I spent most of Wednesday on a plane. (Our flight was at 1:30 PM but it was delayed for a few reasons-- for instance, when we finally boarded it got stuck in a pothole) We arrived in California at around 10:30 PM (local time).

Anyway, I slept a lot on the plane, so I didn't end up going to sleep until after 6 AM Thursday morning. Eek.

Thursday evening/night though, I hung out with Jasper. We attempted to draw some geese at a nearby park for a little while. It was so crazy, you have no idea. The park was FULL of geese. Not the white kind, but the black/brownish/grey kind. It was like there had been a population explosion. There had to have been like, hundreds. I drew... one. XD

Jasper tried to draw me, but he ended up with a Roald Dahl-esque drawing of my face, which I transformed into a peeved grandma type figure. Unfortunately I don't have a picture of it. :(

And then what... hm... oh, we had dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant (yummy as always) and then went to his house and played Rockband. It was my first time, but actually it wasn't too bad! I did vocals, which was sort of hard at times because I didn't know most of the songs... but we pretty much just played ones that I knew anyway, so I did alright (on Easy/Medium level, of course :P). Chris came over after a few songs and he joined in.

We also watched Moon, which was pretty cool. I kept thinking that it was all going to be a mind trick, but it was fairly straight forward... The movie finished sometime after 2 AM, at which point we decided to call it a night. Chris drove me home, and I brushed my teeth and hopped on the computer... and that's basically my day, in a nutshell.

Just a reminder to myself... I need to talk to Silver on AIM at some point. Gotta ask about schools in New York...

---

The only problem with being completely honest about who you are is that some people are horrible.

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I haven't really had much of an appetite in a month or so. Maybe more. I'm not really keeping track.

It's that ol' chronic depression rearing its head again. Or maybe it just came back from vacation. Back to work, back to work.

Lower that self-esteem, drain that energy, sap that motivation, topple those interests. Nose to the grindstone, Depression dearest.

It's just getting settled in now, so it's mild. Right now it's just on nightshift, for the most part.

Thinking about my take on life, I think I'm optimistic about the future in the short term and pessimistic about it in the long term.

I kind of assume I'll get through with my schooling and have good grades and all that.

I also kind of assume that I'll struggle to find a job and may not be financially independent for awhile after I get out of college. Even then, I might have trouble paying my bills, and unless I marry someone who's pretty well off, I'll probably have to work to support any potential children.

It's not the life I want, but then again, what is?

---Edit---

I probably think about being a nun more than your average nineteen year old agnostic.

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"Let's make believe there's nothing wrong with us..."


Been listening to a lot of Splitsville lately. The Myspace player is pretty handy since they have just about all their songs on there.

I can't seem to embed the songs on Myspace anywhere, so I'll just link the ones I've been playing the most...

Big Red Sun

Your Way, My Way

I'm not too sure what else to say, really. My mood's been a bit low recently... I made the mistake of rereading my journal entries from the time after my last breakup. Baddddddddd idea.

In other ex news though, my first ex has been texting me and we're getting along alright. My brother is being stupid and keeps asking me if I think we're going to get back together. (There's no way in hell that's happening, of course) I broke up with HIM, plus, the dude is engaged now. But eh, my brother just likes to troll. That's been his number one hobby as long as I can remember. It's really sad that he's eighteen now and he still hasn't grown out of it.

I've been taking some video footage of stuff here, so I might upload a few of those when I get back. We'll see, I guess...

-Sigh- The mosquitoes all waited to bite me until my last week here. :( I've been wearing shorts because my legs are freakin' pale (no sun exposure back home), but the mosquitoes were ignoring me until just recently. I think it's just because I've been hiking with uncovered skin. Sadly my itching suffering seems to have been for naught, as my legs are still untanned.

Also this is kind of a random note to end on, but does anybody wake up with like, pale lips? Because I've noticed that when I wake up, I might look tired, and my lips don't have much color to them, but after I feel more awake they look... more red. It might have something to do with blood circulation, I dunno. Just wondering.

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Maybe I'll go for NYU after all.

I think I have to get an associate's degree first though.

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If I had the skills, this is the webcomic I would make:

The Secret Knots

Amazing.

I've linked it in the KtB module, but I didn't want it to go unannounced like all the other recent additions.

It deserves attention.

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I hiked Lanipo today. For the uninformed, it's a 7.4 mile hike to the end and back (3.7 miles each way).

Last year I did it as well, but it was much muddier and more difficult as a result. I did take pictures though, most of which were lost when my external hard drive crashed.

The trail goes up/down five summits if I remember correctly, and since it's along the ridge of the mountains, it's possible to fall off either side for a good portion of the way.

We climbed rocks, slid through squelchy mud, got repeatedly whacked in the face by ferns, and for a few brief periods, were rained upon.

BUT it was better than last year. We had gloves this year, so I didn't get any cuts on my hands, and I didn't fall (unless you count sliding on some dirt and grabbing onto a tree in panic).

My dad and brother had a bit more trouble once we got to the end and were headed back. Both of them had injuries of some sort. My dad's knee hurt, which made it difficult to go down slopes, and my brother thought he sprained his ankle. Me? I was pretty much fine, though my feet hurt some.

I think this is only the second time I've finished Lanipo. Woo. We've got more hikes lined up for the rest of the trip (after my dad recovers from this, of course), so that should be interesting. And tiring. I'll try to actually sleep the night before the next ones though. X| (I went to bed kinda late last night and couldn't stay asleep for more than what seemed like half an hour at a time)

Man, I'm so sleepy it's ridiculous. It's only 7:43 PM here and I'm sleepy. Not even exhausted-sleepy though, just sleepy. Blah.

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(I'm in Hawaii)

This guy came today to stay in my uncle's house. His girlfriend is coming from Spain and he's been cleaning the room they're going to be in for over an hour. Maybe two hours. They told me she was allergic to dust, so I guess he has to be really thorough.

It's kind of amazing. I asked my uncle, "so, he's still cleaning?" and he said "yeah, well, he loves her."

The effort this guy is putting in is really phenomenal. I mean, the cleaning thing is a little part of it, but beyond that... they have a long distance relationship, and the time difference between Hawaii and Spain is twelve hours. I'm sure technology makes it a bit easier, but that's GOTTA be rough. They're making it work, though...

I'm completely awed by the dedication I'm seeing. I kind of wish I could care that much about someone... well, ideally it'd be a mutual thing. Then again I seem to make pretty bad decisions when it comes to relationships, so my next one will probably be just like my last two... Might as well delay it if I can.

P.S. - If you see a chicken on Google+ it's probably me.

P.P.S. - I'm kind of laughing at myself on the inside because I'm going to kill myself next quarter with my class schedule. Kill kill kill. Ha ha. D:

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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