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My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
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*le sigh*
Sunday. 11.15.09 7:47 am
Yes, today is another one of those days that I just don't feel like dealing with shit. I don't want to be here. I'm sick and tired of the things that go on at work. I just need to stop and get away.

No, you assholes, I don't want him to leave his wife. Just because I talk to the man and we happen to talk about his family, it does not mean I'm obbsessed with it. And to you, the spectacular fuck up that I don't know who's talking about me, I'm not dating the guy who you're telling everyone that I'm dating. If anything, I'm dating a person that you don't know and will never know.

Is is true that I let people take advantage? Sometimes. If someone needs a ride somewhere, I'll usually do it, even if I don't want to. I've said no, but it doesn't happen often.

After I take my sister to work, I'm coming home and going nowhere else. Today is my day to rest and attempt to relax. I doubt the attempt will be successful. I stress too much over stuff.

Stupid dreams won't let me sleep. In the last week or so I've been plagued with dreams. Ones that I can't remember. Even when I usually can't remember them once I wake up, I remember that when it woke me in the middle of the night I could vaguely remember. But this I just remember that it was dreams that kept waking me up in the middle of the night. For a while I realized that if I had the music off, the dreams would be more frequent and more bothersome. So I started playing the music all the time. Now, it doesn't seem to matter. The only one that I've been able to remember was from last night and just like any other dream, it was strange.

I don't want to do anything today. As if you couldn't tell when I said that I wasn't going anywhere besides taking my sister to work. But I guess I'm just emphasizing how much I don't want to go out anywhere. I have no more food in the house, but that's normal. I'm not hungry anyway. It's one of those where I know I should eat, but I just don't have an appetite so nothing sounds good. Besides, I don't have enough money to buy anything anyway.

I'm sick of this place. I'm sick of my job. I'm sick of it all right now. It'll get better. I just need to get through this. It's not the first time I've felt this way and I'm certain it won't be the last.

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little white lies
Wednesday. 11.11.09 5:05 pm
Those are the ones that seem so harmless, but have the potential to become something much bigger than they are.

It starts when you're a child. "Little Jim, do you know who ate the last cookie?" "Of course not. I didn't see anything." As the little boy tries his best to make sure all of the crumbs are no longer on his face.

You do it to keep from getting into trouble. You lie to protect yourself. It continues on into adulthood. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" "No officer. I don't." As you remember that you should have stopped before the light turned red or that you should have slowed down when the speed limit was reduced.

I don't know. The biggest, most common white lie. Used by everyone, in every language, in every country.

I'm guilty of that particular one. It would get me into quite a bit of trouble in certain areas if I told the truth. 'I don't know' is basically an escape route. You say it when you don't want to talk about something. Playing dumb can be an advantage sometimes, but only in certain circumstances.

I will admit that I usually use 'I don't know' when I'm questioned about something that I don't want to talk about either because it will get me into trouble, because I just simply don't want to give you the answer you're looking for or because I'm embarassed by the actual answer. It's an unfortunate truth and sadly I don't see myself stopping that any time soon.

Have you ever done something that you couldn't even tell one person? Or the one person you could tell was someone that had absolutely no association with you or anyone you know {ie: therapist}? I'm in a situation like that at the moment. So I might be posting a PWP entry at some point in the near future. Just so that I can get it out ... considering I don't have a therapist yet.

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fun times
Sunday. 11.8.09 3:51 pm
Last night we were working on our Japanese whilst getting buzzed off Smirnoff Ice. We both had two; nowhere near enough to get us drunk, but it made us feel good. And we pretty much had the most fun we've ever had while doing the Japanese stuff.

We've decided that we're going to work on the Core Lessons together; making up flash cards as we go and then work on the remainder of the lessons on our own time.

Unit two is more difficult than Unit one. There are a lot more terms and half of them sound alike. I wonder how much more difficult Unit three will be. I have a microphone for my computer now, though, so I'll be able to do everything in each lesson rather than skipping over every part that requires speaking.

I actually have food to bring with me to work over the next four days. I don't know what I'll do about the fifth day; there wasn't enough turkey in the package to make five sandwiches. Oh well. Perhaps I'll hold on to the two dollars I have in cash to maybe get some chips that day or something.

The weather is actually pretty nice today. Too bad I don't have enough gas in my car to just go out for a drive. It's also too bad that I have nowhere to go. I already went to the store. It's 4pm now so it's pretty close to being too late for me to go out, considering I have work tonight. If I went out now, I'd only have maybe an hour or two to do whatever before I have to be back home in order to be in bed at a reasonable hour. Oh well. That's always how luck seems to run.

Oh, ha. I got my electric bill the other day and I actually laughed out loud. If you've ever had to pay your own electric or have heard other people complaining about the outrageous price theirs is, you'll laugh at this too. First, though, you must understand that I live alone, in an apartment that's less than 400sq ft. I haven't run my airconditioning in over a month and I haven't turned my heat on yet. I opened up my electric bill and it said the amount due was $27.01. Which means that I'm spending less than $1 a day on electricity. I found that laughable.

Alrighty, I think I'm gonna bounce around the net some more before I begin to melt my brain again. I want to get through lesson 4 today. This way I can go back through the lessons and complete the speaking parts I had to skip.

Until next time NuTang ...

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night driving - good; rush hour traffic, not so much
Tuesday. 11.3.09 6:02 pm
Ever since I bought my car, I've much preferred driving at night. If I had the choice, I'd only do my driving at night. There's much less traffic, you don't have to worry about the sun glaring off the cars and objects around you and it's generally cooler so you don't always have to run the AC {the only downfall is during the winter when it's much colder at night; a minor setback.}

I enjoy night driving.

However, now that Daylight Saving time has ended, it gets dark right around rush hour traffic time. I was drivng home last night at around 5:30pm and it was going rather smoothly. . . until I hit the Spaghetti Bowl {that's what it's called cuz from an aerial view it looks like a bowl of spaghetti; the way each of the highways/city streets twist around each other. it's a major chunk section of interchanging highways and streets.} I keep forgetting just how much traffic SUCKS on the highway right at rush hour.

It's not much better on city streets and probably still would have taken me twice as long to get home. It's easier just to take the highway.

That's another thing. I'm a highway driver. I prefer going faster to get to my destination. It's rather bothersome when there's no easy highway access to get me to where I need to go. Like when I'm going to my sister's. I would be going a bit out of my way if I took the highway. It's smarter and quicker to stick to city streets. Annoying, but more efficient.

Anywho, I'm debating on going out to get me a $5 pizza. It's not fresh, but it's hot and ready to go when I get there. That's how they can get away with only charging $5 for it. It'd be cheaper than going to Panda. Yeah, I think I'm gonna go do that. It's right down the street and oh hey, it's dark outside so that works.

Until next time NuTang ...

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yeah, its another entry
Sunday. 11.1.09 6:56 pm
Daylight-saving time ended last night. I slept pretty good. Had to turn my phone off and back on again in order for the time to be updated, though. Oh well. A minor inconvenience. It threw me off a little when my car clock still said the original time. But then I remembered and quickly changed it.

Didn't do anything Halloween-y yesterday. Went to Lake Mead for the first time. That was fun. I got a 20 second video of the crazy hoard of fish next to the pier waiting to be fed popcorn. The ducks fighting in the water was funny to watch. The boats looked cool too.

I've never been on a boat like that. I was on a ferry once. I suppose that counts as being on a boat. Never gone fishing though. My step-dad tried to get me to go with him when I was younger, but at the age of 16, getting up at 4am was not very appealing. Now it would be nothing. Hell, that would be sleeping in.

You know it happens every year and you know that it takes time to adjust, but you still have to deal with adjusting every single time. It's probably going to take me about a week or so before I get used to it getting dark around 5pm. In about a month it'll be getting dark around 4:30pm when the sun dips behind the mountains. It definitely takes some getting used to.

I wish it were like Arizona. They don't change their clocks. It was very easy to get used to that. Not having to worry about when to change the clocks and in which direction to adjust them to. Easiest way I remember is 'spring ahead' and 'fall back.'

I feel kinda numb right now. Like the emotions that want to show aren't being allowed to show. I could probably lay down and stare at the ceiling for a good hour and not feel a thing.

Perhaps it would be smarter to just lay down to sleep. I have to be at work in about 8 hours. The weekends just go by far too quickly. Even long weekends whip by. Oh well. That's life for you.

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auntie Me
Thursday. 10.29.09 4:17 pm
I've known my sister was pregnant, but yesterday confirmed it entirely. She is definitely with baby. I took her to her first ultrasound yesterday and it was oddly fascinating. The fetus is approximately 11 weeks old {she didn't think she was that far along} and about 4 centimeters long. My mom and my sister both knew she would be providing the first of the next generation; I don't think any of us thought it would be this soon {she's only 19.}

She didn't plan for it, but I can bet that more than half of you, if you have siblings, that one of you weren't planned. I'm excited and scared. I'm pretty sure the pregnancy is the easiest part of having a child. Even if you're prepared for it, I'm still sure that's the easiest part. There's only so much I can do to help her with this, but I'm doing what I can.

She wants a boy; everyone's already calling it he. I'm not sure if this will jynx it or not, but there's no turning back now. She is due in the middle of May, about two weeks before her 20th birthday.

Anywho, it's been cold here the last few days. A cold front has been blowing through {literally} since late Tuesday, early Wednesday. It made the temperatures drop from the mid to upper 70s down into the mid to upper 50s in a matter of 24 hours. And it hasn't gotten much warmer since ... mostly because this god-awful wind won't cease to exist. I have a plan to wear a Halloween outfit to work tomorrow and I'm pretty sure I won't be able to since it'll be too cold. I'll have a long sleeve shirt on under the t-shirt, but I still don't think that'll be enough. And if I have to wear a sweatshirt or jacket over the Halloween shirt, well then there's really no point in wearing it to show off if I have to cover it. I'm hoping the wind dies out before I leave for work tonight, but I don't think it'll quite work out that way. However, it's supposed to be back up around 80 by Sunday. You figure out the temperature math.

I hate Vegas weather.

I'm afraid of turning my heat on. I'm not looking forward to that smell that comes out of the vents the first time you turn your heat on after having it off for a majority of the year. I need to get Lysol air freshener before I do that. I was tempted to turn it on yesterday, but then I decided since it'll be warm this weekend, I'd just suffer through two more days of wearing toe socks to keep warm. I'll probably have to turn it on sometime in the next two weeks though. Once this first cold front comes through for the year, it doesn't stay warm for much longer after it blows through.

Alrighty, now that I've talked your ears off {or typed your eyes out?} I think I'll go melt my brain some more. I want to get through Level 1, Unit 1, Lesson 2 today. Until next time NuTang ...


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