Although I was sick, my day went quite well, I must say.

Poetry: got my paper back with the comment "Wonderful. Do you write stories? You definitely should" on it.

+ :)

Walked to Trader Joe's after class and met up with my mom. We got extra strength ginger brew and peach mango gel cups, then drove home (more than halving my walk home).

+ :)

At home I drank one of the sodas and played Emperor: Rise of the Middle Kingdom (the one I've been trying to find for years... it WAS in my brother's room!) for about an hour.

+ :)

My mom drove me back to school, where I sat in Psych for about an hour and ten minutes. (The class is supposed to be 1 hr 45 min but he always lets us out early...)

:|

Wandered around in the 45 minutes between classes and passed a cute-ish Greenpeace guy who tried to talk to me about the organization. I wasn't feeling good/paying full attention so I smiled nervously and didn't respond. After I got away I felt bad because I actually kind of am interested in Greenpeace, but it felt too awkward to go back.

+ :/

Sat in the Environmental Studies/Science building and ate a gross energy bar, then moved to another spot and ate a Cool Mint Clif Bar, which wasn't gross. Also chatted with some classmates who were there early as well.

+ :)

Environmental Studies class... We got put into groups and did a small presentation, then talked about... something... and then picked out newspaper articles and worked with one or two people to put together another short presentation. My group liked one of my ideas and we decided to use it. My other group members said they were glad I was there. We also had a lot of fun discussing our topic (how the food you eat causes pollution), so much so that we talked through our break and used all the extra time she gave us to keep going. Our presentation was probably the most interesting in the class because we did a little skit of sorts, whereas everyone else just displayed concept maps and talked about them

+ :)

After class one of my classmates came over and asked me what my major is, and when I said English, he told me I must take a lot of public speaking classes. I laughed and said no, and he said I did very well in the presentation and must be very creative. I was very flattered, even if I did think he was making something of a big deal out of it.

+ :D

My parents picked me up and brought me back home, and I played Emperor for another few hours. (I will probably lose interest in it soon enough, and come back from the realm of obsessive game playing)

+ :)

So let's tally this up...

:) - 6
:| - 1
:/ - 1
:D - 1

Looks like a good day to me!

It feels really good to be appreciated... This sounds kinda depressing but I think it happens infrequently enough to me that I feel really surprised when people don't shoot me down or ignore me. That isn't to say I think no one appreciates me; Alice and my mom tell me they care, and I still get a stray compliment here and there on my hair or something I've done, but it's... not the same. I don't want to say that counts for less, but it's just... expected by now, I guess. It feels different when it's a surprise.

---Edit---

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"Yes, my heart stood still
Yes, his name was Bill"

Hahahahaha

---

Today was kind of disappointing. I also came very close to being in an accident twice within five minutes. Probably three minutes, actually. Had I been struck the first time I think it's likely I would've been seriously injured or killed, because the van was going very fast when it came at me, and I wasn't wearing a helmet.

A good portion of the time when I'm on my bike, I imagine various ways I could be hurt on it, in slow motion. Today I was thinking about what it would be like to slam face first into the edge of the curb. I think it if it was hard enough it would break all my facial bones and probably leave me disfigured for life. Some, if not all, of my teeth would probably come out or be shattered as well.

Surprisingly enough, I very rarely consider the aftermath of such events. I guess people would tell other people what happened, and say nice things about me. We really should appreciate people more when they're alive, because it doesn't make a difference once they're dead. I guess it's easier to remember good things when the person isn't around to contradict them, though.


Looks like Youtube finally completely switched over to the new player...

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I hear scrabbling coming from the ceiling at night. It transitions to the noise of gnawing, stops, and then starts up again, softly.

For a few nights now I've been wondering if I'm just crazy, because nobody else in my house had heard it.

BUT, last night it was there again, so I confronted my brother in the hallway and asked him to come and listen, and he heard it too.

I'm not insane (in that way)!

---

I just ate an apple, but there is now a cooked carrots aftertaste in my mouth. Ew.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I am not feeling completely better, but I can mostly walk upright now! Huzzah! In a few years I can probably say goodbye to the ability to heal in a few days.

So, this being a four day weekend for me and all, I stayed up until 7 AM yesterday finding music and such. I don't know why I expected the singer of Varoshi Fame to be a fat goth chick, but I did. Turns out she's quite skinny! Or was!


In my various Googlings I also found a band called Virgin Prunes, but I did not think they were that great. Love the name, though.

A site for all the "wacky" dads out there...

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I feel old. Way too old. I'm not even two decades into life yet and I feel like it's been forever.

Today my lower back hurt a lot, so I stayed in bed for most of the day and had to kind of lean over while moving about to keep it from hurting more.

I thought about how my brother was being pretentious, immature, and rude.

And then, as I sat eating prunes (I just like the taste...), horror washed over me.

-Back pain
-Hunched posture
-Disapproval of youth
-Prunes

WHEN DID I TURN 70?!

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Remember the days where I'd title my entries with random nonsense completely unrelated to the content of the post? I don't, but I'm pretty sure it was a thing.

I have been discreetly adding new links to my KtB module, if any of you check that out. Found some really high quality web comics recently, and I'm quite pleased about that. I'm almost hesitant to recommend Sin Titulo, because it's completely amazing, but it updates excruciatingly infrequently, from what I can tell.

Maybe if I get a secret page one of these days I'll move my web comic list there, and revamp it with thumbnails or something... who knows...

---

I suspect that my budgies are currently molting. Romeo was preening himself earlier and feathers were flying all about the cage. They're out for a romp right now... although they're not really "romping" so much as "chewing on everything they can". Silly little scruffy puffs.

[If my camera was still alive and my hard drive wasn't in a coma I'd put some pictures here!]

---

Oh yeah, NEWS NEWS NEWS (say that in a Teen Girl Squad voice). But not really news. I saw DC at school yesterday. X|

DC, you say? Why yes, that guy. Remember him, folks? Oh I bet you do. I am pretty sure middaymoon does, at least.

I was completely shocked to see him. And NO I DID NOT TALK TO HIM SHUT UP. I think he might have paralysis-inducing pheromones or something. :|

---

Budgies are destructive little poop factories, but they're so gosh-darned cute I just can't stop lovin' 'em.

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The background details are fuzzy, but I believe my mother had business with his. We two were left to discover awkward conversation with one another. With the resigned, somewhat sheepish air of people who weren't kids anymore, but who were still excluded from the privies of adulthood, we exchanged looks and began to walk together.

The sun was setting as we began our trek. It didn't seem like we really had time to hike the whole trail, but there was nothing else for us to do. We made small talk, making no real allusions to our past friendship, but catching up on the changes of the years. He looked the same as I remembered from all that time ago, but he discussed significant differences in his life with me.

He had grown taller, he said. I nodded in interest, and pretended I had not heard it already. He also related to me that he had discovered himself as a woman. The transformation had taken place since our long gone friendship, and it had been a subtle awakening within him. I could visualize him staring into a mirror on a brick wall in some high end apartment, slowly contemplating it. I saw pink flowers on an end table in the corner.

As he told me of his change, two men approached us. They were broad and dark, with savage mouths and cruel eyes. We did not know what they wanted, but it seemed to entail something bad for us. I was afraid.

They began to brutalize D, and my fear caught in my throat and I couldn't scream.

He wasn't a person anymore. He was bits and pieces of things in a blue bucket of dark red liquid. It wasn't quite blood... it had the consistency of water. I was panicked. He needed to go to a hospital... maybe there was still hope... but the men were after me, and I had to get away.

I climbed up a steep dirt hill, and they pursued me at a leisurely pace. They wanted from me... nothing that could cause damage, exactly, but I didn't think I could give it. It wasn't the right time. They called for me to give it to them, but I was worried and hesitant. I tried, but it wasn't right. I didn't have it anymore.

---

There was a mountain of stitched-together animal hides stretched over some hidden frame. It was green and white and brown, meant to match the colors of nature. Thousands, possibly millions, of people trudged down the street to the side of it. It was a pilgrimage to places we all hoped were safer, or untouched by the painful chaos we were fleeing. There were people on the other side of the road, and they told us that they were escaping New York. As I climbed the hides, I hoped I would not be following them soon.

---

I'm imagining the mouth of a glass bottle in my mouth, its metal cap against my teeth.
I'm imagining the cap grinding on my molars.
I'm imagining pain, and sharpness, and the tang of metal.
The wet feeling of blood on my tongue, on my teeth, painting the insides of my cheeks.

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