In the past year, I've caught the clock at 9:11 AM or PM too frequently for it just to be a coincidence.
Recently, I've begun to notice it in more places.
I was looking at my Facebook pictures. Specifically, picture 9 out of 11.



It just creeps me out.
It's snowing, and there is no school tomorrow.
Awesome.
My ear is gushing because I pushed a bigger gauge in too soon.
Not awesome.
But the other ear is fine!
Awesome!




I don't feel awesome at all.

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I avoid your glance.
Your stare.
Your mocking, cat-eyed glare.
I step back.
I turn around.
I walk from where you stand.

Envy.
Envy.
Envy is a death note.
Envy was a dead man's stare,
that now releases an empty void.

Think.
Speak.
Act.
Your somber voice is now an echo.
Your spiteful judgments are bogus.
As I leave you here to rot within your retired compost.

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I haven't felt like writing anything anywhere, lately.
I want to start writing songs. And then find perfect chords to match on guitar.
I don't even want to make a career out of it. Just...for me.

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I wish I had more money.
There were so many people I wanted to get Valentine's gifts for.
My dad got me a lot of chocolate and a $25 iTunes gift card :(
I felt especially guilty.

BUT! The night before I did do a list of chores he gave me. He didn't ask me out of his way, I asked him to give me a list of chores.
I hope he is content with that for now.
I will do more stuff later on.


Ugh. There are so many people I want to return favors to. I will get on that right away!

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It's funny how many things can turn on you.
Your words are used against you.
Your wishes on birthday cakes and shooting stars and 11:11 are purposely misinterpreted.
Twisted like a tiny spiral ladder of DNA.
You'd never know that this was what you'd hoped for.
You'd never realize that this was your wish, simply masked with a different material.

Empty words hold empty meanings.
I am not strong enough to turn off your porch light.

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Do it.
Just do it.
One time.
The drug isn't addictive.
You can stop any time.

Then you stop.
Just stop.
You can't can you?
Didn't think so.
The drug may not be addictive.
But the feeling is.

I can stop any time.
You don't know what you're talking about.
You've never even tried it.
You have no ground to stand on.
I do it because I want to. Not because I need to.

True words spoken straight from a true addict.
You'll never experience happiness again without it.
Pure happiness? Not anymore.
Purity apparently is dead.
Just like your lungs.
Just like your mind.
Just like you.

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