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who can we really say cares about us?
Thursday. 10.23.08 10:53 pm
i mean how do u know if ur friends your friend not just someone temporarily in your life to screw u over later on down the road?

why do we constantly put our trust in people who so easily are swayed and give up years and years of love and trust and loyalty over a stupid fight?

How do we know we arent just forming bonds with people who will later break them and hurt us with the broken bond?

Why do we trust the people who usually end up hurting us?

and why are we emotionally so breakable?

o btw found a new music artist his name is Joe Hisaishi and he is amazing!!

i love howl's moving castle and alot of other animes that hes done the music for and hes so amazing..... im going to try to get one of his songs up here.....

well goodnight

oh and thank you

for reading and caring

:] yes u too stevie

even tho u think im a failure


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school is kicking my a$$
Wednesday. 10.22.08 9:09 pm

well every class but american history and chemistry anyways

ok weird thing is my classes are
american history
medical terminology
spanish 3

and in my electives im absolutly failing miserably!

but no chemistry and american history im frickin beastin (lolz)

isnt it suppose to be opposite???

idk what im going to do

well i know im frickin going to pull up my grades but i dont know what to do with breaking the news to my parents......

-_- ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

im doing it after this weekend so i can go to scarowinds lol

as stevie always tells me........

i am a failure yet again...

oh! and i almost forgot!!

some guy wrote me a message in my truth box on myspace.....

the first one said


yeah i know wtf

then the second one (from him) said

"like really weird..........no lie"

yeah what a jerk if i knew who it was i would tell them were they could "like" shove their rude and stupid opinion.........


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the bubble bath from heaven
Thursday. 10.9.08 9:13 pm
i feel very relaxed right now....

and my hair smells like mint from my shampoo hehe.........

i have a question

why do humans always reach for human companionship/relationships???

i mean i reached for a relationship even if i dont want to be in a relationship with that particular person. The thought of being not in a relationship is worse than being in a relationship with someone i dont like.........

yeah that sounds really screwed up......... idk i guess i just do it subconsciously.............

and im going to stop well try and stop starting now...

shouldnt there be some sign or some recognition of who we can really love?? and who fits us perfectly?? how do u know if hes the right one?? and how do u know there isnt a better guy around the corner??


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blah blah blah blah.......... stupid crappy friend
Tuesday. 10.7.08 6:17 pm


my best friend is mad at me :/ like super super mad at me.............. lemme explain

ok so this guy liked her at the beginning of the summer and she was like "we can date when i get back from out of town" (she goes away for most of the summer) and anyway she decided during her vacation that she didnt want to date him. so when he got back she said she just wanted to be friends and he was mad so they stopped talking........

well he is in one of my classes and we got along and all three of us started hanging out and stuff wellllllllll.... he was going to ask her out possibly but she didnt know if she liked him like that or not and she kept switching her decisioin........ then she was like ill date him but prob break up with him like 3 days after we date...... and she didnt want him to date any other girl even if she didnt date him......

So anyway to make a long story short... the guy started having feelings for me and then said he liked me... she got all mad and was like "i cant be yalls friend if u date" and its allll crapppppppppppppppp

no we arent dating yet but shes not talking to me and i was like "look ill always be ur friend and i love you and im always here for u no matter what".

and she doesnt care about getting me as a friend but shes still talking to him trying to get him as her friend....................

sucks for me right!

but anyway about this guy........ idk if i wanna date him... i mean we get along AMAZINGLY!! as friends and i guess it would be cool to see if dating would be fun................... but there are other things like im sorrry to say this but im not physically attracted to him.... and i dont know if hes mature enough.... ......................................................................................................................... idk its all just a bit of a mess.

ugh idk what to doooooooooooo

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a serious question......
Sunday. 10.5.08 9:17 pm
how important is physical looks in a relationship?

i mean what if a person issss lol i dunno ugly or too skinny or too big or just not attractive.... how much does that honestly matter when deciding wether or not to date someone.?

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where did the freeze button go???
Friday. 10.3.08 12:22 am
all of a sudden seems like life is going by wayyyyy too fast.......

i mean im 16 soon to be 17 and its weird i remeber thinking that ppl my age seemed so "old".

And i start to think about the decisions ive made. And i regret some of them wellll i actually regret not making some of them... idk

so why cant we have a rewind button?? or a freeze button?? lol or a "this is the right choice" button??

would make things alot easier....


anyway on other news....

going camping next weeknd woot woot love camping.

feel kinda weird but not really sure why... i think it has to do with boys butt idk if i wanna date someone or stay single. Just kinda confusing

i need a "this guy is the perfect husband for you/boyfriend for now" button lolz

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