No, it was not a blowjob. I'm pretty sure it would severely compromise my morals if I were to become a part time sex worker.

Anyway, I haven't been contacted about doing it again, so I'm going to assume that I'm not making any more money off it. Oh well. $30 wasn't bad for the one time. I already spent about $10 of it on food. X|

Also, my old phone came back from the dead! -Weeps tears of joy-

I already got a new one, though. :/ I'm annoyed that the new one somehow has a shorter battery life and harder to use features. Isn't technology supposed to get... better... over time...? -Sigh-

We don't really keep milk in the house anymore, since I stopped drinking it, so when I was making mac and cheese today I had to figure out what to use as a substitute. We have milk substitutes... but they're all vanilla flavored, sweetened, or both. I ended up using yogurt in place of milk, 1:1.

It uh... came out very tangy. Tangy could be good, I guess, but it was kind of weird for me. I don't think I want to make that substitution again.

Oh, and good news! Since my phone was revived, I was able to swipe my pictures off it! And here they are, ladies and gents:

There's a FIGHT CLUB being advertised on campus!


It has not been completely well-received.


During one of my lengthy breaks, I read a fascinating article about rat mating habits and quirks.

If you can't read the caption, it says "SERENADING IN THE BUFF: Male rats make music during the act, uttering a special song for each phase of the intimate tango."

Here's the first new phone I got, which I didn't like:


It was severely lacking in the organizational department, which I use my phone for, so it wasn't useful to me.

Here's the phone I got after returning the other new one:


It has the ability to create recurrent appointments (unlike CERTAIN phones I can think of... -cough cough-), which is important to me. Unfortunately, it doesn't automatically put birthdays onto the calendar like my old phone did. Oh well. I guess you can't win on all fronts. :/

Lemme think... Oh, I'm going to the Renaissance Faire with Tyler on Sunday! So that will hopefully be fun. It'll be a long drive, so he suggested bringing some CDs to listen to. :D I've been browsing my music, trying to figure out what to burn onto a disc, but I ended up just listening to Splitsville for hours.

Maybe I'll just bring a mix of Splitsville and Point B. Powerpop/punk and old school dubstep. Good times, right?!

Man, I'm sleepy. Okay, the entry is over.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Nothing bad happened.

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I'm considering doing something to earn a little money. It feels like it's kind of shady, but $30 for ten minutes is very good money if you ask me, and technically there would be nothing that would directly make me uncomfortable... I think...

Still, I'm really hesitant. I don't think it would compromise my morals, just be kind of weird.

And $30 for ten minutes. There's that. And it would most likely be a repeat venture, so I could make $400 - $500 a month if I chose to.

That's money for school and Christmas presents and maybe some new toys for my birds...

It's not illegal... it should be safe... but I'm just not sure.

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I think I had a "good" day today. Or at least, I thought that to myself as I was walking around, and it didn't feel like a lie. So that's something.

Hung out with Tyler (new friend) for a few minutes between his classes, then wandered around and saw Treasure (girl I failed to befriend during Fall Quarter last year) sitting on a bench. I stopped over and said hi, and she ended up showing me some areas of school I hadn't seen, and we wandered around campus and talked about movies and academics. I walked with her to her next class after that, and she hugged me goodbye, so I guess we're friends now?

This girl whose name I don't know also talked to me in my last class of the day. I had never previously talked to her, but for whatever reason she said hi and then sat right next to me. During the break (it's a long class), we discussed classes and the school.

So... yeah... I guess I socialized today. And that was good.

A while after I got home, my dad mentioned that he was going to the library, so I asked if I could go with him. Lately I've been finding it difficult to kill time on the computer, so I end up staring at the taskbar clock when it says 5 PM, wondering if it's too early to go to sleep.

But yeah, at the library, I picked out a couple movies, one of which was Lars and the Real Girl.

My parents had seen it before, unbeknownst to me, and my dad made a face when I suggested it, and told me it was too weird for him.

I watched it when we came home though, and I actually really liked it. I don't remember the last time I actually liked a movie. I mean, there have been movies I didn't dislike, but usually I just feel kind of indifferent and like the film is lacking in some certain quality I just can't place.

It was nice to enjoy things again.

There was a shooter in the area today, though. He apparently killed two or more people at the quarry and then went to my dad's workplace, where he tried to jack a car. I don't think anybody was hurt at the company, but they shut the whole place down, so when I got home from school, my dad was watching TV, and told me they gave everyone the day off-- except for the Mexican groundskeepers. I guess the logic is that it's only dangerous if you're indoors with a shooter.

Here's a link to a live coverage article if you're curious: CLICK

They haven't found him yet. I'm not really worried about myself or anyone I know, since it's unlikely he'll come around here and shoot more people, but I hope no one else dies.

I feel like I should be excited or anxious or waiting in anticipation for news he's been caught, but I just can't muster anything.

I think my good day is over now.

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I spend my copious amounts of free time at school either reading for class or perusing Psychology Today/The Scientific American/The Scientific American Mind.

Something I found interesting that was mentioned in these:

-In a dating situation, men find women more attractive when they laugh
-Men's laughter has no impact whatsoever
-In order of most attractive to least attractive facial expression, for men: happy, ashamed, prideful
-In order of most attractive to least attractive facial expression, for women: prideful, ashamed, happy

I can't remember what the reasoning behind the laughter thing was, I think it had something to do with men perceiving female laughter as flirtatious, but the facial expression thing... Supposedly pride suggests power to women, whereas smiling implies weakness of some sort. :S

On the other hand, men view mirthful women as uh... well, happier and healthier, maybe? Probably has something to do with fertility. All this stuff always does. But women who look too proud don't appear as "feminine" because power is a historically masculine trait...

---

Oh! Funny story. For Basic Photography we had to do a blind walk (you walk around and take pictures blindfolded), and me and my partner went over to this large group of people surrounding a stage. On the stage were a couple of men with shirts on that said "JESUS HATES SIN" and stuff like that. One of them was holding a sign that had a bunch of things on it (HOMOS, PERVERTS, PEDOPHILES, PIGS, POT SMOKERS, etc.), then "JESUS REJECTS YOU" or "JESUS HATES YOU" at the bottom. The other guy was yelling at everyone around the stage, calling everyone sinners and telling them Jesus hated them.

It was a laugh. Even better though, everyone who was around the stage was pounding on it with their fists and chanting "GO AWAY! GO AWAY!" or "I LOVE SCIENCE!"

Ahh, college.

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In several ways, I do regret getting a FB. (It also just occurred to me that that could stand for something much more heinous... but uh... moving on...)

Every time I see updates from my friends in New York, pictures, that sort of thing, I feel kind of sad. I've spent over a year being at home, feeling alone regardless of whom I'm with.

I'm not saying that I think they're living it up in New York. I mean, it's entirely possible they are, but that is not what gets me down, per se. The separation is just painful for me. I don't think I've ever missed anything so much in my life.

---

I have to write a 2 - 3 page story for Fiction Writing.

"THEY KEY TO THIS ASSIGNMENT IS TO USE EXCLAMATION POINTS TO END EVERY SENTENCE, AND TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT YOU'RE EXCLAIMING ABOUT IS NOT AWESOME OR GREAT, IN FACT, OBVIOUSLY QUITE THE CONTRARY!"

Pretend to be happy. Pretend to be excited. Aren't I good at that? Should be a breeze.

On a mildly related note, the story in question, Elizabeth Crane's "My Life is Awesome! And Great!" reminded me of Zanzibar while I was reading it.

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I find it hilarious when people quote themselves. Not in a conversation type setting, mind you, but when they actually post something in this format:

"[Something intended to be funny, philosophical, etc.]"
--Me

I don't have much else to say. Here's a song I like.

And all I can think of is how much I would love
To put my body through a paper shredder
It makes me want to impale myself on a bed of nails
Or jump into the big black cauldron of boiling oil
It makes me want to twist my body round and round,
Tie myself in knots,
Tear myself in half,
Scream for joy and die and die and die and
When it gets like this,
I just don't know what to do with myself
I'm helpless,
And I don't want your help,
And there's nothing you can do anyway
I just want to end it all
And it never ends
It never ends

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