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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Conspiracy Friends!
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Wow, I'm such a liar
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
I feel really happy right now. X3

And I feel kind of weird about that because I told him he couldn't make me happy before.


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Okay, got the right password this time [2P]
Monday, October 17, 2011
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Sunday, October 16, 2011
This could be tricky. :/

Last time, I thought it couldn't hurt, but it did, and I still don't think I've recovered.

But... this is different. They're not the same person. It might not be the same?

There's only really a couple months though. And then it has to end. So I guess it's safe in that respect? Or maybe not...

So conflicted. And kind of confused. I don't know what to do.

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Update on the money thing (among others...)
Friday, October 14, 2011
No, it was not a blowjob. I'm pretty sure it would severely compromise my morals if I were to become a part time sex worker.

Anyway, I haven't been contacted about doing it again, so I'm going to assume that I'm not making any more money off it. Oh well. $30 wasn't bad for the one time. I already spent about $10 of it on food. X|

Also, my old phone came back from the dead! -Weeps tears of joy-

I already got a new one, though. :/ I'm annoyed that the new one somehow has a shorter battery life and harder to use features. Isn't technology supposed to get... better... over time...? -Sigh-

We don't really keep milk in the house anymore, since I stopped drinking it, so when I was making mac and cheese today I had to figure out what to use as a substitute. We have milk substitutes... but they're all vanilla flavored, sweetened, or both. I ended up using yogurt in place of milk, 1:1.

It uh... came out very tangy. Tangy could be good, I guess, but it was kind of weird for me. I don't think I want to make that substitution again.

Oh, and good news! Since my phone was revived, I was able to swipe my pictures off it! And here they are, ladies and gents:

There's a FIGHT CLUB being advertised on campus!

It has not been completely well-received.

During one of my lengthy breaks, I read a fascinating article about rat mating habits and quirks.

If you can't read the caption, it says "SERENADING IN THE BUFF: Male rats make music during the act, uttering a special song for each phase of the intimate tango."

Here's the first new phone I got, which I didn't like:

It was severely lacking in the organizational department, which I use my phone for, so it wasn't useful to me.

Here's the phone I got after returning the other new one:

It has the ability to create recurrent appointments (unlike CERTAIN phones I can think of... -cough cough-), which is important to me. Unfortunately, it doesn't automatically put birthdays onto the calendar like my old phone did. Oh well. I guess you can't win on all fronts. :/

Lemme think... Oh, I'm going to the Renaissance Faire with Tyler on Sunday! So that will hopefully be fun. It'll be a long drive, so he suggested bringing some CDs to listen to. :D I've been browsing my music, trying to figure out what to burn onto a disc, but I ended up just listening to Splitsville for hours.

Maybe I'll just bring a mix of Splitsville and Point B. Powerpop/punk and old school dubstep. Good times, right?!

Man, I'm sleepy. Okay, the entry is over.

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Admitting [DP]
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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It's okay, guys
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Nothing bad happened.

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For a price
Friday, October 7, 2011
I'm considering doing something to earn a little money. It feels like it's kind of shady, but $30 for ten minutes is very good money if you ask me, and technically there would be nothing that would directly make me uncomfortable... I think...

Still, I'm really hesitant. I don't think it would compromise my morals, just be kind of weird.

And $30 for ten minutes. There's that. And it would most likely be a repeat venture, so I could make $400 - $500 a month if I chose to.

That's money for school and Christmas presents and maybe some new toys for my birds...

It's not illegal... it should be safe... but I'm just not sure.

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I think it's been awhile
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I think I had a "good" day today. Or at least, I thought that to myself as I was walking around, and it didn't feel like a lie. So that's something.

Hung out with Tyler (new friend) for a few minutes between his classes, then wandered around and saw Treasure (girl I failed to befriend during Fall Quarter last year) sitting on a bench. I stopped over and said hi, and she ended up showing me some areas of school I hadn't seen, and we wandered around campus and talked about movies and academics. I walked with her to her next class after that, and she hugged me goodbye, so I guess we're friends now?

This girl whose name I don't know also talked to me in my last class of the day. I had never previously talked to her, but for whatever reason she said hi and then sat right next to me. During the break (it's a long class), we discussed classes and the school.

So... yeah... I guess I socialized today. And that was good.

A while after I got home, my dad mentioned that he was going to the library, so I asked if I could go with him. Lately I've been finding it difficult to kill time on the computer, so I end up staring at the taskbar clock when it says 5 PM, wondering if it's too early to go to sleep.

But yeah, at the library, I picked out a couple movies, one of which was Lars and the Real Girl.

My parents had seen it before, unbeknownst to me, and my dad made a face when I suggested it, and told me it was too weird for him.

I watched it when we came home though, and I actually really liked it. I don't remember the last time I actually liked a movie. I mean, there have been movies I didn't dislike, but usually I just feel kind of indifferent and like the film is lacking in some certain quality I just can't place.

It was nice to enjoy things again.

There was a shooter in the area today, though. He apparently killed two or more people at the quarry and then went to my dad's workplace, where he tried to jack a car. I don't think anybody was hurt at the company, but they shut the whole place down, so when I got home from school, my dad was watching TV, and told me they gave everyone the day off-- except for the Mexican groundskeepers. I guess the logic is that it's only dangerous if you're indoors with a shooter.

Here's a link to a live coverage article if you're curious: CLICK

They haven't found him yet. I'm not really worried about myself or anyone I know, since it's unlikely he'll come around here and shoot more people, but I hope no one else dies.

I feel like I should be excited or anxious or waiting in anticipation for news he's been caught, but I just can't muster anything.

I think my good day is over now.

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