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Memores acti prudentes futuri


So when I start to see some face in neon dreams
engulfed in fantasies, the world seems more inviting
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bug
Buttersafe
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
DUBBLEBABY
Eat That Toast!
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Broodhollow
Bullfinch
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Chainsawsuit
Conspiracy Friends!
Daisy is Dead
Distillum
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
Intragalactic
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Mirror
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
More mistakes
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I don't think I should talk about things I think I want to do anymore.

Someone or something always comes along and tells me it's not a good idea. And usually I have so little enthusiasm in the first place that that small bit of discouragement completely kills my desire. (I don't even know if "desire" is the right term. "Hope" might be more accurate. As in I hope I can sustain the want...)

...Back to square one... maybe... I don't know.

I don't want to do anything for the rest of my life. I don't even want to live for the rest of my life. How can I want anything more when I don't even want the most basic thing in existence?

Comment! (8) | Recommend!

Maybe I'm doing this wrong [DP]
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Cluck cluck, motherfu--
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Anyway.

Those of you who have Google+: If a chicken adds you, do not be alarmed! I just thought to myself that I should add some more people on there and since I have practically no local friends that are on it, I figured, hey, Nutangers are the next best thing. (I'm not interested in following random strangers...)

---

Fiction class has got me writing various little stories and things, so I thought I'd offer them up to the good people of Nutang in case anybody feels bored enough to read them. I'll list the titles and a brief overview of the assignment, and if anything looks interesting to you, I'll put it up in Google Docs and link it here.

Living in an Oubliette is Awesome! And Great!
--A ripoff of a short story we read where we're supposed to end the majority of the sentences with an exclamation mark.

7 or 8 Things I Know About Her
--Another ripoff, this time of Michael Ondaatje.

Darkness
--Sort of a ripoff; we were supposed to have a character converse with an inanimate object or animal that represents the character's conscience/inner thoughts.

Science
--An attempt to lay out a scene in great detail, then hone in on a particular character; the second part was to be mostly dialogue.

The Ocean
--Basic structure exercise with rising action, climax, fall, etc. We were supposed to name our characters using names the teacher took from her spam folder. (That was helpful for me, since if I'm left to my own devices, I feel like naming characters becomes too personal and would rather leave them nameless)

The quarter ends in a few weeks, so I might have another couple pieces by then, but I thought I'd offer up what I have now just in case anybody is interested. I promise nothing in the way of quality, of course, but I assume that by now you're all familiar with my writing style, so you can judge for yourself if you'd like to see any of it.

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Swings
Sunday, November 20, 2011
They tore down the playground I went to most as a child. The play structures, the swing set...

I doubt they'll build a new swing set the same height, if they include one at all. Probably too "dangerous" for these modern times.

Just remembering swinging there, going higher and higher, the rush of going back and forth. Finally reaching the point where I was level with the top bar, feeling the chains I was holding onto go slack.

When you hit that top point, you're not moving up or down, and you just sort of sit in the air for a second. It's not like the rest of the experience, where you're pressed against the seat of the swing, and the chains are pulled tight.

There's just something about the in-between that I always liked, what I always reached for when I was on the swings. But it's not the same on the short little swings they have at most parks now. You don't get high up enough, you're too close to the ground and the people.

Growing up is absolutely terrible so far.

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In a way I feel bad about this
Sunday, November 20, 2011
It's interesting what a difference scent can make in terms of attraction.

-Embarrassment-

I know this is the YOU MAKE BUNNY CRY picture, but it's still what I'm visualizing.

(And more or less how I feel when I'm embarrassed)

And this isn't related in any way, but THIS IS AMAZING:

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Read
Thursday, November 17, 2011
I should just wear this one shirt for the rest of my life so people know what's up:

CLICKIES

In fact, all my clothing should tell people about me, so that we won't have to bother with discussing it.

Or maybe I should just get "I don't know" tattooed all over my body. Same thing, right?

It might not work for people who can't/are too lazy to read, though. -Shrug-

---

Jasper linked me to THIS ARTICLE, and I thought it was interesting/kind of relevant to my life.

It's hard to tell though, if people are manipulating you or if they're right. How do you know when something is true?

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Lost
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Last night I needed to take a walk. I asked my mom if I could leave the house, and though she was concerned and very cautious, she didn't say no.

Didn't really know where I was headed. It wasn't a walk like the ones I used to take. I wandered around for a bit over an hour and came home mentally exhausted but physically more awake.

I kind of want to go somewhere and just get lost. No backups, no GPS, no maps. Just want to go so far I don't know where I am or how to get back to where I was.

These wants, lately. Winter's a-comin', alright.

---

There's that... frustration, exasperation, fatigue, that comes with dealing with a person you know just wants to help, but their comprehension of the problem seems so elementary that much of what they say and do just makes things worse if it does anything at all. And you want to get away from this person, but you can't, nor can you be truly honest about how the more they try to help, the more they just end up hurting. A person you can't let go of, but whom you want to push away when these things happen.

We briefly discussed binary systems in which one of the stars is dying today in Astronomy. (For the unaware: binary systems are systems in which two stars revolve around a common center of mass; most stars have a partner in this manner, our sun is unusual)

When one of the stars in the system is nearing death, and it becomes a white dwarf, its gravity is so intense that it sucks matter (more specifically, hydrogen) from the surface of its partner. The white dwarf has, by this point, already burnt out its own supply of fusible hydrogen in its core and lost the rest earlier in the stellar death process (all that's left is degenerate matter, which is extremely dense and pretty much unresponsive to heat). So what happens is that the stolen hydrogen slowly builds up on the dying star until it fuses explosively in a nova. In more extreme cases, it may cause a supernova, which will destroy the white dwarf by causing it to collapse in on itself.

I sat there in class, sometime around eight in the morning, feeling like my life had just been described.

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Not much else to say
Saturday, November 12, 2011
But thank you for your thoughtful comments on my last entry, guys. I do appreciate it.

---Edit---

I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain, but I imagine it's somewhat like this, except with less leather?

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