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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Conspiracy Friends!
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Right before sleep
Friday, February 24, 2012
I tend to move into dream-thought-mode pretty quickly.

So last night(?) I was almost asleep and I thought about a large gathering of jungle animals watching a lemur do stand up comedy, and the lemur was like, "hey guys, so this thing happened..."

And then another animal stood up, and it was furry, and it said "was it because of this?" and it took a revolver and shot itself in the head.

And another animal piped up, right after that, "yeah, was it because of this?" and it blew its brains out as well, and several other animals stood up and did the same thing in succession.

Anyway, they all thought it was very funny so I guess the stand up show was a smash hit.

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Something I haven't mentioned
Thursday, February 23, 2012
My grandma, my last living grandparent, has been in the hospital a few days.

I think it was just an infection, and pneumonia, at first, and she was recovering from that.

She was in pain because of the tubes they had stuck in her though, and I was told that she would sometimes wake up saying "help... help me..."

She thought she was dying, so she told them to pull the plug, and they told her "no, you just had pneumonia, you'll be fine."

But then she had a stroke, and now they don't think she'll ever regain consciousness.

As per her wishes, they won't keep her alive needlessly, but they're going to keep her on the respirator until my uncle can go out and visit her, because he wants to see her before she dies.

My dad said he wasn't going to go, but he'd like to say a few things to her over the phone, even if she can't hear it.

He asked me if I would want to go to the funeral.

She isn't gone yet, we don't know when she will be.

I don't really feel much at all about this. Three other elderly members of my family have died within my lifetime-- both my grandpas and a great aunt. I understood what was happening each time. I don't remember ever encountering death and not knowing what it was.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel. Sadness? She's not afraid to die. I don't really know her all that well. She's had dementia for most of my life and that made it hard to get to know her.

But I never really knew any of my grandparents that well. My other grandma died before I was born, and her husband, my grandpa on my mom's side, kind of lost interest in me and my brother when we weren't little anymore. My grandparents on my dad's side lived in Hawaii, so we only saw them once a year, and my grandpa on that side died when I was... twelve, I think.

I have to go to school, just wanted to say something about what's happening in my life right now.

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Other news
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
My boyfriend got a new wardrobe, and when I first saw him, I couldn't stop laughing because he looked kind of like a hipster, especially with the scarf he was wearing.

Anyway, that was Sunday. We went to the mall, which was closed because of how late it was, then walked around Santana Row, got feta cheese fries, and saw The Artist, which is a mostly silent film about a silent film actor. It was pretty good, I'd say. My only complaint was that the main female character didn't have the more... curvy figure I'd associate with star actresses in the 20s/30s. She was quite thin, more attractive by today's standards than the period in which the piece took place.

I'm not sure if the meds I've been taken have been doing anything or not. I haven't felt majorly depressed the past few days, but I've also been spending a lot of time in that chatroom, which could be putting off the bad mood. I didn't go today though, because I was too tired and wanted to take a nap when I got home, and need(ed) to finish homework.

I have a lot of reading to do. :/ Probably like, six chapters or so in my various books... and if we're saying a chapter is 30+ pages... -sigh-

No more chatroom for a few days, I think. :/

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I know this is all I keep talking about, but
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Someone in the chatroom said I'm better than Pandora. :D

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Thursday, February 16, 2012
In a conversation with an OKC buddy, I realized something.

First of all, I don't wear jewelry or bother with accessories (unless you count hats and armwarmers or bandannas, which I don't, really).

He asked me if I wore earrings or necklaces, and I said no, I don't.

But I think it's because I don't like to wear jewelry that doesn't have a special significance to me.

Back when I was dating my first boyfriend I wore his temporary dog tags and the ring he gave me for Christmas on a chain around my neck, and I rarely took it off because it was important to me.

When I signed up to be a marrow donor, they gave me a purple wristband, and I wore that constantly too, because what it stood for mattered to me.

Even the moodring I used to wear had some significance... I didn't have enough tickets to buy it at the prize counter at the Boardwalk, so my friend said he'd get it for me if I kissed him. I didn't end up kissing him, but it's an amusing memory.

I kind of miss those tokens of meaning.

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More chat adventures
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Friday, February 10, 2012
I've been going on the INFP chatroom sort of connected to the forum I joined three months ago or so, and people in there were like "oh, you're so and so from the forum! Your posts are really awesome! You're like a forum celebrity!"


I was really surprised, to say the least. Flattered, though! People notice me! And like what I have to say! I feel so special. XP

'Cause like, you guys here know me, and we're all buddies, but I've only been there for a few months, so it's really odd.

...Oh jeez I've been in the chatroom for like seven hours. :0

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He's been stressed lately...
Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Boyfriend: My capacity to fly solo is greatly diminished when I'm over worked.
Me: Not surprising.
Boyfriend: As such, I miss you.


Me: Wait, so are we hanging out this weekend at some point?
Boyfriend: I fucking hope so.
Probably Friday night.
If I don't, I'll fucking kill someone.
Me: Well, it's always you that has to cancel, not me.
Boyfriend: Oh, I know.
If something comes up.
If something comes up.
I'll kill everyone.
I swear on Jesus's nipples.
I will kill everyone.
Me: Even me? :0
Boyfriend: Well, if I saw you then I wouldn't feel the need to murder people.

We're gonna go learn how to waltz on Friday!

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