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Saturday. 4.4.09 9:16 am
After 9+ long weeks of no driving, I am FINALLY getting my school act together and am allowed to drive.

I have waited so long. And it's nice, too, because now I'm driving a car that is mine. I have a little yellow punch bug, all pimped up with a Pig Hat staring out the back window and a pinwheel in the flower holder next to the steering wheel. The car also smells like apples!

Out of all of this, I've also learned how to drive a straight-drive, a good skill to know. I feel so much more...free, now. If I need to, I can up and go whenever. No more badgering people for rides. I can drive myself! I CAN GIVE YOU A RIDE!

It's all so wonderful. And it's getting warmer outside! Spring is here! My grades are going up! I can drive! It's the best.


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Assignment: Poem or Sestina.
Tuesday. 3.31.09 12:17 pm
I chose to write a sestina.

I can feel msyelf fading from your memory.
You make fewer visits to my grave.
My soul is suddenly overwhelmed with lonliness
as I watch you down by the river.
I remember times when we used to play in the great tree.
Perhaps I'm the one who needs to forget.

But I cannot forget.
You will always be in my memory.
When you leave, I will climb the great tree.
Sitting up high, I'll watch you avoid my grave.
You'll do anything to stay away, even cross the river.
I can't take this lonliness.

Do you even feel lonliness?
Is it possible for you to forget?
Do you simply let your throughts float away down the river?
I know you have a memory.
I see you glance out of the corner of your eye at my grave.
I can see it all the way up here in the great tree.

I wonder if you can sense me up here in this tree.
I think you feel my lonliness.
It overwhelms you, too, as you stare back at my grave.
You no longer attempt to forget.
I'm flooding your memory.
I flow through your mind as fast as the current of the river.

I flood, I flow, I am a mirror of the river.
Faster and faster, water splashes against the great tree.
You tremble violently, trying to shake my memory.
You finally come to terms and feel my lonliness.
Don't try to forget,
It's useless. You're standing in front of my grave.

I jump down to greet you at my grave.
Your tear drops make deep splashes in to the now calm river.
I've tried to forget. You've tried to forget.
It's emotionally impossible to stay away from the great tree.
Two souls experience the same lonliness,
But only I can see you. I can only be a memory.

I walk from my grave under the great tree,
I stand in the river and watch you in your lonliness
As your attempt to forget only leaves you drowning in memory.


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Monday. 3.23.09 1:08 pm
I've never missed so much school consecutively in my entire life.
Ever. EVER.

It all started around 2:00 AM Thursday morning. I felt nauseated and I had a pounding headache that simply would not go away. When my alarm goes off at 7:00 AM, I go in to my mom's room and tell her I'm not feeling good. She asks me if I've had trouble seeing, and I told her it was hard to focus on the television.

She tells me I have a migraine. GREAT. A day of pounding headaches, possible vomiting, and complete darkness.

The next day comes and I'm still feeling horrible; if not worse. And...I'm freezing. I check my temperature. 102 degrees Fahrenheit. Awesome! I have a cold ON TOP OF my migraine. I take tylenol, sudafed, and therflu throughout the day.

Two days of school already missed. This is not good, seeing as the end of the grading period is the following Wednesday.

The next day comes: Saturday. I'm feeling even WORSE than the day before. Is...is this even POSSIBLE!? Usually when I get a cold, I can at least feel a little better the next day. But no. It's WORSE. My mom sees I'm not getting better, and I beg her to let me go to the doctor.

Saturday evening phases in to Sunday morning. I have a doctor's appointment at 10:40 AM. Not my normal doctor, whoever was on call that day. I didn't like him very much. He interrogated me about a bunch of stuff.
"What's your GPA?"
"What do you plan to do after college?"
"What year did Bob Marley die?" (I was wearing one of my friend's shirts with Bob Marley on it)

Plus, my experience at the office wasn't that pleasant to start off with because i had to get swabs stuck up my nose, and in the back of my throat so I could be tested for strep throat and the flu.

The doctor comes back with the results, and tells me I have Influenza A AND B. Two different kinds of the flu at the same time. Not only that, he also said I'd be out of school for a while.

Not good at all. I have three makeup tests to take, a test that I missed, a paper, and probably a bunch of other stuff that I haven't done, and the end of the grading period is Wednesday. Normally I wouldn't be worried, but I need the extra good grades so that I can have a good report card. Why do I need a good report card? It determines whether I will be driving by April first, or if I will be restricted from driving for yet ANOTHER NINE WEEKS. All the way until Summer.

I hate being sick, and I'm done with my rant.

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Sunday. 3.8.09 10:37 pm
I cannot help the fact that I am an attention lover.
Unless you call me out every single time I'm trying to get attention, even if I don't notice it, I will keep going.
And if you do that, it gets annoying.

Perhaps that's one of the reasons I love theatre so much. I can show off my skills (whether most people think it's talent or not) and receive positive feedback, as well as feedback on what I need to improve.

Or maybe I love theatre so much because it gives me a chance to portray a completely different person; especially when you can relate to a character. If there is a situation in a play that you are familiar with, it makes it so easy to fit into the characters' shoes.

Maybe it's because of the nervous flash I get when I'm about to go on stage, but once I'm out there, I know there is no going back.

Theatre has helped me break out of my old shell. And I love it all.

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Not now.
Wednesday. 3.4.09 9:54 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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If you ignore the problem, then there is no problem.
Monday. 3.2.09 10:06 am
That is my philosophy.
I am definitely one of those ignorant people who would just rather not know something, or ignore some kind of problem.
Pretend that everything is alright.

It's...how I cope with things, a lot of the time. When I'm being punished, I begin old hobbies. Like, playing guitar. Or just listening to music and staring at the ceiling. I can't help it.

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