Home | Join! | Help | Browse | Forums | NuWorld | NWF | PoPo   
Barren Illusion
"If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal- that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them. They are the highest reality. Perhaps the facts most astounding and most real are never communicated by man to man. The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched." - Henry David Thoreau
FEED MEH!
Kongregate logo
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius!
domingo, 1 de enero, 2006
Why English Is So Tough

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

Eh, quit your whingeing. I think all that shit is awesome.
17:39

Comment! (4) | Recommend! (1) | Categories:

Guess I forgot to put the foglights in
sábado, 31 de diciembre, 2005
I finally tried some maple candy Ross and Chandler were raving about when they went to Vermont and stole all those apples and pine cones. It tasted like a sugar bomb exploded in my mouth, then washed it down with a cool refreshing glass of soda and honey, and afterward I picked my teeth with a sharpened candy cane. Mm... that's good glucose!

Is this supposed to be Kenny?

Pop vs. Soda Debate I WILL NEVER CALL IT POP!!!!!!!!!!
14:02

Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories: , , ,

Zuh?
martes, 27 de diciembre, 2005
I want to know how the hell I got 400+ pageviews here in three weeks. I only click around my blog here 85x a week, tops. What accounts for the difference of 145?? Well, only 79,597 views till twenty dollars! ::Disco Stu dance::
22:50

Comment! (4) | Recommend! | Categories:

I like pizza
miércoles, 21 de diciembre, 2005
I used to kinda maybe want a bicycle, sort of. Because of the stupid transit strike, now I kinda want one, maybe. Too bad I haven't ridden one in like ten years. Maybe I should buy blades, I can ice skate fairly well for someone who has gone less than once a year since I was nine, if I practice for a few minutes first. Do people still call them blades? I'm old.
20:01

Comment! (1) | Recommend! | Categories: ,

YATTA
viernes, 9 de diciembre, 2005

YES! ONE WHOLE CENT!

17:13

Comment! (3) | Recommend! | Categories: ,

It's cold
miércoles, 7 de diciembre 2005
AND I LIKE IT. I hate New York when it's disgustingly hot. I may be on an island, but I ain't in the tropics! Now I can stroll through the city comfortably again. Sure... I may not do it when the temperature drops to the Fahrenheit teens (sounds like a gang... or a musical group) and below, but I like to be cold. I am naturally cold. I wear layers and am still cold. However, it doesn't work in the summer; I will be sweating all the time even when I'm naked. (Sorry, that mental image scarred even me.)
15:50

Comment! (3) | Recommend! | Categories:

Election Day
martes, 8 de noviembre, 2005
Srsly I still don't know who to vote for. I was all set on voting for Fernando Ferrer six months, maybe even a year ago, but as the day drew near I quickly realized I was torn, 50-50. Bloomberg's reign was definitely better than Giuliani's, but of course this is based on nothing but my cold, hard feelings. Most incumbents remain in office, because I suppose people fear change. I haven't had any chance to watch their debates; I've seen sound bites and criticisms of it. And now the day is here, I'm no longer 50-50, I'm 49-51.

I also have no idea about the other offices, like public advocate, borough president, comptroller, and city council (well the guy in my district is running unopposed, I feel the world has been lifted from me shoulders!). I know I don't have to vote for that, but if you know me I like using things to the fullest extent. There are also ballot proposals to vote on, the only one which I know is Proposition 2 (public transportation). Then again I would not have known anything about anyone if the NYC Campaign Finance Board didn't send me a Voter Guide... which contains a plethora of information, like the guy running for mayor under the Rent is Too Damn High Party (RTD):

1. WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE IN THE CITY YOU WOULD ADDRESS IF ELECTED?
RENT is Too Damn High there is nothing else to talk about. All poor people are being ran out of New York.

2. WHAT OTHER IMPORTANT ISSUES WOULD YOU ADDRESS IF ELECTED?
RENT is Too Damn High there is nothing else to talk about.

3. WHAT MAKES YOU THE BEST CANDIDATE FOR THIS OFFICE?
I am a Rent Activist with real solutions to the High Rent Crisis that is driving everyone out of this City. That is what makes me the best candidate for this job.

You can't make this stuff up. He talks like I do... when I was 10-years-old!
11:38

Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories: ,

Syndicated South Park is teh awesome
lunes, 7 de noviembre, 2005
Satan: ...and now Chris and Saddam just keep killing each other over and over and I don't know which one to pick.


"What the hell happened to you?"

Satan: Huh?
God: You got kicked out of here for being a headstrong rebel and now you're a whiny little bitch.


"Well, I just don't know which one to pick!"

God: No, you've become dependent on relationships. So you haven't even considered the option of not being with either of them. If you're not sexually attracted to someone, you're not ever going to be. But Saddam isn't right either. He's the other extreme. You need to spend time alone, so you can find the balance, the middle ground. That's what I always do because I'm a Buddhist.
Satan: Wow, you're right. You know I've had steady relationships for the last thousand years and when one ends, I just start another one. But I haven't taken the time to be secure with myself.


"Bingo."

Satan: Hey, thanks, God. I forgot how clear you make things sometimes.
God: It was nice to see you again, Satan.
Satan: You too.
God: Goodbye.

I should really stop making these posts of what I want to buy that haven't been released yet... all righty this will be the last one for a while, but if I hadn't been so damned impatient and waited for a few days for the images to be available at Amazon this wouldn't even be necessary!


Srsly, what's going on with the image of The Simpsons 7th Season boxset? I want to see Marge's fucked-up head on Amazon already!!
00:53

Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories: , , , , , ,

Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21

Layout by bluetopaz
bluetopaz's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.020seconds.

  Send to a friend on AIM | Set as Homepage | Bookmark Home | NuTang Collage | Terms of Service & Privacy Policy | Link to Us | Monthly Top 10s
All content © Copyright 2003-2047 NuTang.com and respective members. Contact us at NuTang[AT]gmail.com.