A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence
"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"
"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation
"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes
"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.”
~ William Blake
Think about it
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics
Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
The Intrepid Girlbot
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius
Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Robbie and Bobby
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Strong Female Protagonist
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Yellow Peril (PG-13)
Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Hello with Cheese
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing
Meat and Plastic
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
YU + ME
Pure Flash Awesomeness
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
Clients from Hell
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
IM pros and cons...
Monday, August 8, 2011
I use AIM a lot, as you may or may not know/care.
-Less harrowing than making a phone call
-Emotions and body language don't go through
I kind of hate it when I'm feeling serious or just not in the mood for frivolous silly talk, and the person I'm talking to doesn't at all pick up on that. I guess it can't be helped, it being the extremely limited IM form of communication and all, but it does bug me when this happens:
Me: [something serious, possibly saying I'm feeling depressed]
Other person: HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY [other silly things]
I can be silly and random and all that, but I do get tired of it, and then it just seems stupid and irritating.
Of course, I also have to wonder if the other person CAN sense that I'm feeling down or otherwise not in a good mood, and so their attempt to change the subject by being silly is supposed to cheer me up. WHY people think that's a good idea is beyond me, but I guess I can understand if they feel awkward/uncomfortable and don't want to discuss the more serious stuff.
Really though... if the conversation went like this, replacing depression with a pet's death...
Person A: So, my favorite pet died yesterday and I'm having a hard time dealing with it...
Person B: AWW, YOU SHOULD CHEER UP AND BE HAPPY! HERE, LOOK AT THIS FUNNY PICTURE I FOUND ON THE INTERNET. [Basically ignores connotations of other person's statement]
...Doesn't something seem a little off about that? Just saying.
Again, not trying to rag on people for trying to lighten up the mood. There's a time and a place for that though, and sometimes I just want to have a serious discussion (this counts for all serious topics, not just me being depressed). Turn off the silly for a few minutes, y'know.
Home home home
Friday, August 5, 2011
Back from Hawaii, yesiree.
I woke up at around 4 PM "today" (Thursday). :|
What with the three hour time difference between Hawaii and California, I spent most of Wednesday on a plane. (Our flight was at 1:30 PM but it was delayed for a few reasons-- for instance, when we finally boarded it got stuck in a pothole) We arrived in California at around 10:30 PM (local time).
Anyway, I slept a lot on the plane, so I didn't end up going to sleep until after 6 AM Thursday morning. Eek.
Thursday evening/night though, I hung out with Jasper. We attempted to draw some geese at a nearby park for a little while. It was so crazy, you have no idea. The park was FULL of geese. Not the white kind, but the black/brownish/grey kind. It was like there had been a population explosion. There had to have been like, hundreds. I drew... one. XD
Jasper tried to draw me, but he ended up with a Roald Dahl-esque drawing of my face, which I transformed into a peeved grandma type figure. Unfortunately I don't have a picture of it. :(
And then what... hm... oh, we had dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant (yummy as always) and then went to his house and played Rockband. It was my first time, but actually it wasn't too bad! I did vocals, which was sort of hard at times because I didn't know most of the songs... but we pretty much just played ones that I knew anyway, so I did alright (on Easy/Medium level, of course :P). Chris came over after a few songs and he joined in.
We also watched Moon, which was pretty cool. I kept thinking that it was all going to be a mind trick, but it was fairly straight forward... The movie finished sometime after 2 AM, at which point we decided to call it a night. Chris drove me home, and I brushed my teeth and hopped on the computer... and that's basically my day, in a nutshell.
Just a reminder to myself... I need to talk to Silver on AIM at some point. Gotta ask about schools in New York...
The only problem with being completely honest about who you are is that some people are horrible.
Appetite o' mine
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I haven't really had much of an appetite in a month or so. Maybe more. I'm not really keeping track.
It's that ol' chronic depression rearing its head again. Or maybe it just came back from vacation. Back to work, back to work.
Lower that self-esteem, drain that energy, sap that motivation, topple those interests. Nose to the grindstone, Depression dearest.
It's just getting settled in now, so it's mild. Right now it's just on nightshift, for the most part.
Thinking about my take on life, I think I'm optimistic about the future in the short term and pessimistic about it in the long term.
I kind of assume I'll get through with my schooling and have good grades and all that.
I also kind of assume that I'll struggle to find a job and may not be financially independent for awhile after I get out of college. Even then, I might have trouble paying my bills, and unless I marry someone who's pretty well off, I'll probably have to work to support any potential children.
It's not the life I want, but then again, what is?
I probably think about being a nun more than your average nineteen year old agnostic.
Tunes and bites and lips and things
Friday, July 29, 2011
"Let's make believe there's nothing wrong with us..."
Been listening to a lot of Splitsville lately. The Myspace player is pretty handy since they have just about all their songs on there.
I can't seem to embed the songs on Myspace anywhere, so I'll just link the ones I've been playing the most...
Big Red Sun
Your Way, My Way
I'm not too sure what else to say, really. My mood's been a bit low recently... I made the mistake of rereading my journal entries from the time after my last breakup. Baddddddddd idea.
In other ex news though, my first ex has been texting me and we're getting along alright. My brother is being stupid and keeps asking me if I think we're going to get back together. (There's no way in hell that's happening, of course) I broke up with HIM, plus, the dude is engaged now. But eh, my brother just likes to troll. That's been his number one hobby as long as I can remember. It's really sad that he's eighteen now and he still hasn't grown out of it.
I've been taking some video footage of stuff here, so I might upload a few of those when I get back. We'll see, I guess...
-Sigh- The mosquitoes all waited to bite me until my last week here. :( I've been wearing shorts because my legs are freakin' pale (no sun exposure back home), but the mosquitoes were ignoring me until just recently. I think it's just because I've been hiking with uncovered skin. Sadly my itching suffering seems to have been for naught, as my legs are still untanned.
Also this is kind of a random note to end on, but does anybody wake up with like, pale lips? Because I've noticed that when I wake up, I might look tired, and my lips don't have much color to them, but after I feel more awake they look... more red. It might have something to do with blood circulation, I dunno. Just wondering.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Maybe I'll go for NYU after all.
I think I have to get an associate's degree first though.
A quick share
Thursday, July 21, 2011
If I had the skills, this is the webcomic I would make:
The Secret Knots
I've linked it in the KtB module, but I didn't want it to go unannounced like all the other recent additions.
It deserves attention.
'Tweren't so muddy
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
I hiked Lanipo today. For the uninformed, it's a 7.4 mile hike to the end and back (3.7 miles each way).
Last year I did it as well, but it was much muddier and more difficult as a result. I did take pictures though, most of which were lost when my external hard drive crashed.
The trail goes up/down five summits if I remember correctly, and since it's along the ridge of the mountains, it's possible to fall off either side for a good portion of the way.
We climbed rocks, slid through squelchy mud, got repeatedly whacked in the face by ferns, and for a few brief periods, were rained upon.
BUT it was better than last year. We had gloves this year, so I didn't get any cuts on my hands, and I didn't fall (unless you count sliding on some dirt and grabbing onto a tree in panic).
My dad and brother had a bit more trouble once we got to the end and were headed back. Both of them had injuries of some sort. My dad's knee hurt, which made it difficult to go down slopes, and my brother thought he sprained his ankle. Me? I was pretty much fine, though my feet hurt some.
I think this is only the second time I've finished Lanipo. Woo. We've got more hikes lined up for the rest of the trip (after my dad recovers from this, of course), so that should be interesting. And tiring. I'll try to actually sleep the night before the next ones though. X| (I went to bed kinda late last night and couldn't stay asleep for more than what seemed like half an hour at a time)
Man, I'm so sleepy it's ridiculous. It's only 7:43 PM here and I'm sleepy. Not even exhausted-sleepy though, just sleepy. Blah.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
(I'm in Hawaii)
This guy came today to stay in my uncle's house. His girlfriend is coming from Spain and he's been cleaning the room they're going to be in for over an hour. Maybe two hours. They told me she was allergic to dust, so I guess he has to be really thorough.
It's kind of amazing. I asked my uncle, "so, he's still cleaning?" and he said "yeah, well, he loves her."
The effort this guy is putting in is really phenomenal. I mean, the cleaning thing is a little part of it, but beyond that... they have a long distance relationship, and the time difference between Hawaii and Spain is twelve hours. I'm sure technology makes it a bit easier, but that's GOTTA be rough. They're making it work, though...
I'm completely awed by the dedication I'm seeing. I kind of wish I could care that much about someone... well, ideally it'd be a mutual thing. Then again I seem to make pretty bad decisions when it comes to relationships, so my next one will probably be just like my last two... Might as well delay it if I can.
P.S. - If you see a chicken on Google+ it's probably me.
P.P.S. - I'm kind of laughing at myself on the inside because I'm going to kill myself next quarter with my class schedule. Kill kill kill. Ha ha. D:
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