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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Oh wow
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
I just looked at OKC, and I got this long (looooooooooooooong) message from a guy who used to message me, telling me that I influenced him a ton even though I was like, "detached" and had a "lack of openness."

It's interesting to see all these weird positive perceptions he seems to have of me.

He also mentioned that he still listens to a song I linked him to.

Seriously guys, this dude wrote me an essay of a message.

I'm not even kidding, it's like 800 words.


...It's taking me a really long time to get readjusted to life without depersonalization. >.>

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

Had to share this
Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Was watching this guy's videos on Youtube... couldn't tell if he was a troll for awhile, but I don't really have any doubts now.

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It's been a year!
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Reversion! [2P]
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Texts from Monday
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Saturday, October 6, 2012
I got a couple cool things last night during First Friday, the art walk that usually happens on the first Friday of the month...


The CD is called Blues at 11:00, and it's by Sweeney Schragg. We (boyfriend and I) heard him (with his band) live at the SLG Boutiki gallery. I liked it, so I decided to pick up a CD for $10. Supporting local music! :) It's jazzy and laid back, but still fairly upbeat and fun.

OH! And I think I am sort of getting hired for something, maybe?

Yesterday my mom woke me up at 8:43 in the morning and surprised me with a job-type thing. She was all "wash your face and eat something real quick, you have to watch kids at church at 9:15." I was like "WHAT. WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME OF THIS EARLIER." And she just said "oh, well I didn't see the email until this morning."

Thanks, Mom.

Anyway, I managed to shower and get dressed in the ~25 minutes I had after that conversation, although I didn't get to eat anything. I ended up just helping some older women watch babies at the church (and I got to hug babies, so that was cool). Then after I was done, the er, I dunno, head of the program handed me an application and I filled it out. I had some questions about how to answer some of the things, but she pretty much told me the application was just a formality and it didn't really matter.

I don't know how much it pays, but uh... it seems good so far? Also need to get my internship stuffs figured out. Eep.

Boyfriend keeps on being like "it would be so cool if we lived together." I'm all "ehhhhh.... ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... I don't know... ehhhhhhh."

Something to figure out when I am more of an "adult" and less of an old teenager.

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Just a skirt
Monday, October 1, 2012
I got a skirt.

This is what it looks like:

It has pockets!

That is all.

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I may have mentioned this before
Sunday, September 30, 2012

If you do listen to the song, you'll realize it's actually more in the humor vein and less in the vein of what I want to talk about briefly in this post.

After er, I guess a rather emotional episode between the two of us, I was sitting in the car with my boyfriend, and he was telling me about this idea he has, a mild fantasy of sorts, I suppose.

He was describing it to me, and part of it really just stuck out to me for some reason.

Basically, he wants us to live together in the future. He said he imagined waking up next to me, and having the scent of me everywhere.

(That may or may not sound weird to you-- he's been mentioning a lot recently that he likes the way I smell, though. He says it's just a nice clean smell, a me smell)

Kind of an odd detail I guess, but I found it touching. When I greet him at the door and he hugs me and says "mm, you smell like [randomjunk]," it's a similar nice little feeling.

We don't mesh perfectly by any means, but the little small ways we intersect like this are always special to me.

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